Hsv2 and military

[Silliness]

I can't seem to find info out there. So maybe someone here can give clear info. I may have given this to a man who is enlisted in the guard. It is his love per se. If he caught this from me. Does anyone know what the military stand point is? I was told that he would be medically discharged but I have also read that the military tests don't check for it and unless u are unable to perform duties while in outbreak then you are clear. I would like to have a little more peace of mind about this. Help...

[Iamme34]

I don't know if this will be much help.. But I do the tests they give them don't include herpes unless it's an issue for the officer..I dated a guy in the military for 21 years and he told me it wasn't an issue if he or I had something... For some reason I feel it wouldn't matter if someone has anything.. And he made it clear to me that if I had something or if he did it wouldn't be a big deal.. He have me the whole speech how do you know u didn't get it from me so I don't know for sure but he had 21 years and was high on his chain... So I hope this helps... Much love to you.. And please don't stress.. We all take certain responsibilities when it comes to be intimate... Xoxox

[Silliness]

I thank u for that response. I am totally stressed. I've dropped 5 pounds this week. I am trying to make myself eat but well I am nauseated all the time too. I don't feel it's drug related tho. Just stress. When things come into my mind my heart rate goes up and I get that sick to my tummy feeling. So it stress ---

 

Ok- he swears they test for herpes and HIV. But everything I have read says they check for hiv - and do a physical exam. He is still dealing and not talking to me which makes me soooo scared. He is very important to me - I can deal with never having sex with him again but It will hurt if I lose my friend too.

 

Thank u for your thoughts.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

We've had a few discussions about the military on here - from what I understand, they will only discharge you if you can't do your duties. Hell, if they disqualified you for having H, we wouldn't have an Military force :p

 

The link below is for the Army but I"m sure they use the same guidelines for the Guard

 

Here are some links to help you

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/comment/10031#Comment_10031

 

So this is the Military Guidelines for Health Disqualifications

 

http://www.apd.army.mil/pdffiles/r40_501.pdf

 

2–14. Genitalia

b. Male genitalia

(6) Current or history of genital infection or ulceration, including, but not limited to herpes genitalis (054.13) and condyloma acuminatum (078.11), if of sufficient severity to require frequent intervention or to interfere with normal function, does not meet the standard

[Silliness]

Thanks!!! There are so many forums. And in am stuck using my phone for now.

[WCSDancer2010]

There is a search box on the upper right if you are looking for a particular subject :)

[Iamme34]

I completely understand about getting sick I lost almost 17 pounds when I went thru finding out but trust me when I tell you, it gets easier.. It really does.. We learn so much about ourselves when things happen.. It gives u sense of knowing exactly who you are and y.. We all responsible for our actions but to be honest it's exactly what we are suppose to go thru..

As far as the military goes the guy I dated never got tested for herpes because he had no clue if he gave it to me.. But he did get tested for aids.. Either way please don't take any blame for any other person.. We have enough trying to get thru it for ourselves.. And as him not talking to you, wether you have it or not you want someone to be there for you emotional love.. Things happen in life, and it may hurt knowing people out there can be selfish with themselves.. Stay strong because we all deserve to be loved for who we are now.. We can't change, we can just be educated and respectful.. We deserve the best.. Xoxoxo thoughts are with you...<3

[Silliness]

Thank you for your kind and supportive words @lamme34. I am dealing ok I think. In general I handle stress well. Put it in Gods hands and leave it. This is taking a bit more ... The knot in my gut comes and goes. When I comes I have been coming here and reading asking questions. When the crazy thoughts come I read some positive stories. I am gonna be fine. If my "ppl" don't accept me now then it's meant to be that way. I know this. --- in my head--- my heart well that's different. I wanna cling to them. They are my emotional support but they need time to deal as well ... I handle stress well so maybe I have come to terms a little easier and quicker than them. I am still devastated at the thought of giving my girlfriend whom I love to the moon and back herpes with her lupus I can't bear to bring her more pain. But in reality we all went into this knowing what it was and the risks (even tho I didn't know herpes was transmitted skin to skin) so I take responsibility for my part and bear the guilt - but we are all grown consenting aware adults!

 

As far as the guy - he will come around. He is very self identified by his sexual self. This is a huge blow to that image - he will take time and hopefully our friendship will survive. If not then well my heart will be broken but I will get thru it. Lil Prozac may be needed. Lol just teasing.

 

I have to laugh at myself - it's one way I cope -

[Sparklepony]

I think I just read your previous post related to this.

 

First, just breath. As nerve wrecking as this is, it's going to be okay. It won't disrupt his military career. The only people that have to know he even has it, if he even gets it, are him, his doctors, and any intimate partners. That's it. You are not to blame either. We all take risks when we sleep with someone. I'm assuming you two didn't use a condom? (It's okay, that's how almost alllllll of us got here) He assumes some risk from that. There is NO way to be 100% protected unless you abstain.

 

From the stand point of someone who got it from someone who didn't know, he will be okay. At first he will be angry, I was. Then reason sets in and you realize anger is getting nothing done. You realize that your life isn't over, or really even altered too much. Then you are okay. I do not in any way blame the guy who gave me this lovely gift. Shit happens and life is unfair. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. And even if he secretly did know, I'm gonna give him the benefit and think he didn't know. I forgive him for my own inner peace.

 

[Silliness]

@sparklepony thank u for your words. That hit the spot! I hope that when the smoke clears he is ok with things. I am praying he doesn't have it at all. Even if it means we aren't intimate anymore I would rather keep my friend - any wahoo...

 

[DottedwithHearts]

I am in the military and was diagnosed with HSV2 about a year and

a half ago. Nothing about having this virus makes me any less

Capable of doing my job or makes me any less "fit for full duty."

Everyone needs to understand that even with H we are still healthy!

I take pride in my fitness, it especially helps to rebuild my confidence and esteem

After being slightly lowered with the knowledge of having an STD.

 

[VirusEnhanced]

From what I've ever heard or ever known the only time a positive test becomes military concern is drug related or blood born related (HIV Hey etc) Even then I have known the military to continue that persons service in a non combat role. So all in all I think you're okay and he's okay. I agree with dancer if they booted people from the military for herpes well we wouldn't have a military. 1 in 5 (most likely three times that) has hsv2 and 80+% of American population can expect some sort of hsv1 by the time they are elderly. It's such a common common virus.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Dotted:

 

Well, there are a very few who get H so bad that it can incapacitate them for awhile ... likely not long enough for discharge but if they can't take the supressive meds (some have bad reactions to them) and the stress of the job makes them continue to have OB's I could see that a few might be considered incapacitated... tho I would hope they would see if a transfer to a less stressful area would help first. So I assume that is why the wording is as it is ... the document I found (quoted above) just says you have to be able to perform your duties .... it may be a CYA statement as well ... :p

[Silliness]

Thank dotted and dancer and virus - I like that btw virus enhanced - I feel pretty good about the H not getting him discharged. I am dealing pretty good the last few days. Hope "my couple" accepts this as part of our relationship - time will tell...