Recently found out I have herpes

[1freakedlady]

Just like everyone else here I found out I have herpes. Joy. The first outbreak wasnt too bad although it was very painful down there for a few days. My doctor gave me Lidocaine which helped relieve pain a lot and killed the itching. I am having another side effect, cramping muscles. Ive had to go to the hospital 3 times for it now. Excruciating pain in my neck and shoulders and upper back. Spasms and knots so large the doctor can see them without touching me. That sucks more than the painful you know.

 

Im can cope I have herpes. Yeah its not the end of the world. Ive been with the same man for almost 18 years. We are sure we both have it, dont need to know who gave it to who because it doesnt matter. He has no problem with it, he said he doesnt care if he has it, if he breaks out then he will just deal with it etc. So great, he has no issues at all. Its ME who has the issues. I am scared Im going to itch in the middle of the night or something and then touch my eyes and get it there. Or if I touch somewhere else Ill somehow spread it. Im scared to have sex. Even though my husband doesnt care and knows he most likely has it, Im still worried about having sex. Like maybe Ill make it spread, or maybe he will get type 2 somewhere in his mouth or something. I just cant stop thinking about it and I cant seem to get passed it so I can have sex again.

 

Let me just say that I have a list of medical issues already. And yes Im OCD so that doesnt help my situation either. I just want to get past this. Its been 3 weeks since I had my first outbreak and Im still scared to make love to my husband and thats just not right.

[HerryTheHerp]

If you're really worried about it, go on suppressive therapy, use condoms, and sleep in your PJ's so you don't rub it into your eyes in the night. I don't think you need to do all that, though. I think you've probably got an established infection that just, after a long, long time, showed itself. That means the risk of autoinnoculation isn't there, so you can't transfer it anywhere.

 

Now, I think you're worrying over nothing. Did your doctor type test the HSV to confirm 1 or 2? You should check that if you don't know. Also, your husband should get tested. If he has it, there's nothing you need to worry about.

[Sparklepony]

Pretty much everything Herry said.

 

Emotions run high with herpes. We have all been terrified of life at some point. It's very, very normal. The biggest advantage you have is you're already with someone who knows and accepts this completely. That is an insane roller coaster for people who aren't married or in committed relationships. Try not to let it beat you down too much. Educating yourself, living healthy, and giving yourself a break will help you so much.

 

As for the muscle pain, some pain is normal as herpes messes with your nerves and body in general but it seems like you are having an extreme amount of pain. I had some lower back and thigh pain as my first outbreak healed but I would consider it very mild. You may have pre-existing nerve issues going on and the initial outbreak intensified it.

 

After awhile you will learn to manage the emotions that come with herpes and the worry will subside. At first I panicked constantly that if my son as much as even touched a towel I used he would get the herpes... that simply isn't going to happen. After a week or so I became more level headed about it, educated myself, and now I'm pretty confident that I won't be passing it along to anyone anytime soon. There is a good chance that your husband does have herpes, the same type as you and everything so don't worry about passing it along to him. Sex shouldn't be something you shy away from, it's a very beautiful (and fun) thing. Obviously don't be getting it on during an outbreak because that will hurt like hell.

[WCSDancer2010]

@1freakedlady

 

Hello and Welcome! And BREATHE!

 

As a massage therapist I would reckon that your knots are anxiety related and not due directly to the herpes. So the sooner you can come to peace with this the better.

 

I am scared Im going to itch in the middle of the night or something and then touch my eyes and get it there. Or if I touch somewhere else Ill somehow spread it. Im scared to have sex. Even though my husband doesnt care and knows he most likely has it, Im still worried about having sex. Like maybe Ill make it spread, or maybe he will get type 2 somewhere in his mouth or something. I just cant stop thinking about it and I cant seem to get passed it so I can have sex again.

 

As Herry said, you've had this long enough to not autoinnoculate yourself around your eyes unless your immune system crashes. I've had this 35 years and I never ever worried about what I touched and such ...just as you never did until you were diagnosed and you've likely been carrying this for a long time unless, by chance, you just got this from your hubby via oral sex if he has cold sores).

 

Sounds like you have had this quite awhile ...try to keep remembering that when you are freaking out. And know that a HUGE percentage of the population has this. Realize that when you go out ... 1:5 has genital herpes my friend. And we are all surviving it just fine ... ;)

 

(((HUGS)))