Starting 2nd 10day medication course of 1st herpes outbreak....will i ever smile again?

[diversgirl]

I'm recently diagnosed. Exposed by bf who didn't know. I came back positive culture for HSV2, neg for blood tests. Dr said I basically have no antibodies. She was kind, said this could be my one and only outbreak (probably to get me to stop crying all over her office), but I'm guessing now that was just her way of easing me into this new normal. I got through the sores, pain, fever, extreme exhaustion, peed in the bath/shower, cried myself to sleep, suffered through the unbearable buttock/back of upper thigh pain, fought with my bf to the point I almost ruined us....all in the last 15 days. I finished meds, healed, butt/leg pain weaned, BF and I found our way, had sex and bam....life sucks again. So here I am, back on the 10day program. I'm not open sores, but definitely rawness. And the butt/leg pain has come back with such a force that it's taking all my energy just to get through the workday. At 11am I can't wait to get back to bed and sleep again. I was an active healthy nonstop work 2 jobs cycle 100+ miles a week 49 year old woman who now can barely move.

 

My questions:

 

should we have waited to have sex? bf was on meds and healed too, so we thought we were good. but next am after sex he broke out with a lip sore (I'm guessing the hsv2 presenting orally) and soon after I started to feel crappy

 

anyone else have to do 10 days twice? is this a sign I'll need suppressive therapy?

 

thanks to all!

[VirusEnhanced]

I hear the first year is the worst year. It's the year your body is dealing with the virus and presenting the correct antibodies. I also know sex can be a trigger for an outbreak.... but it's debatable as it seems anything can be a trigger for person to person. Doesn't necessarily mean you'll need to be on medication your just recently found out about the virus and the affects I do hear it gets better in time

 

 

Live long and Prosper (^_-)

[WCSDancer2010]

@diversgirl

 

@VirusEnhanced is right - the first year is the worst.... so try to keep that in mind on the bad days --- and really, the first few months are the worst as your body is trying to make the antibodies.... once they kick in it should start to ease off...

 

Sex can often trigger an OB, esp in the first few months/year. In future, use lots of lube and go easy on the rough sex for awhile ... or find other ways to pleasure each other (Herpes is a GREAT excuse to learn other ways to be intimate!).

 

Your BF's oral OB is very likely HSV1 - only 1% ALL oral OB's are H2. So you have to be cautious around oral sex with him, esp with an OB unless you test positive for H1 (you can still get it from him but it's less likely). You need to find out your status there so you know what precautions you need to take.

 

I was an active healthy nonstop work 2 jobs cycle 100+ miles a week 49 year old woman who now can barely move.

 

Well, one thing we know for certain. Stress will trigger OB's. Again, you can see H as your friend and use it to help you to learn how to slow your life down ... "Healthy" and ""Non-stop" do not belong in the same sentence...LOL ... you need to take time to relax and maybe H is trying to tell you this ;) AND, you may be peri-menopausal in which case hormones may come into play.

 

Either way, you WILL get through this and life WILL go on. Keep the faith ...

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

[diversgirl]

Thanks for the comments, much appreciated. Herpes has made my life slow down, which is so damn frustrating to me. I liked my old life. I still cry often. And a year? wow. I thought this was finally my time, I was happy. The last 7yrs have included divorce, financial struggles, heartbreak, 18yr old daughter's ovarian cancer diagnosis (now in remission, yay!), 2 house moves, etc...

 

Then a wonderful man comes into my life in December, and I get herpes because he didn't know he had it. Or so he says. I'm trying to trust he's being truthful, but it's not always easy. I care about him, so would it change my feelings? I don't know. I just wish I'd had the choice, because I would not have chosen this. It's like those vampire stories lol....

[WCSDancer2010]

So you met a wonderful man ... and if he HAD known, and told you, what would you have done? What if he then used supressive therapy and condoms and you STILL got it? If you still feel he is such an amazing man, maybe it's better that you didn't know, eh?

 

And honey, imagine being in his shoes... he must feel pretty crappy that he gave it to you..... he gets to live the rest of his life with that knowledge ... and that can't be a lot better than where you are at, eh?

 

Either way, this is your reality now ... you accept and love him (and believe that he didn't know...which is VERY possible given that 80% of people don't know they have it) and you move on together or you will eventually self destruct. You didn't get the choice, but assuming he didn't know (or was poorly informed by a Dr which is also VERY common) he didn't get the choice either. You both lost the crap shoot of this part of life. AND, there are far far worse things that can go wrong in this crap shoot ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[diversgirl]

You are absolutely 100% right. And I love him, he has my heart.

On to our life together :)