Do I have herpes? So confused...

[riverstyx]

@whitedaisies

 

I *can't* take it easy, daisies! I have to get myself to a place where I can do the things I need to do to get the things I want. I can't let anything stop me. Not now. Not ever.

[whitedaisies]

I understand that. I did an Honours Business at a prestigious business school and completed a professional designation. It's no PhD, but it's one of the toughest programs to qualify for and pass in Canada. So, I totally get it.

 

But from experience, as I am older and wiser, this pressure you are putting on yourself may actually inhibit you from attaining your goal. You need a healthy degree of fear and motivation. But to make it sound like you can't be human but you need to be some robot is going to be no help to you. Do everything you got to do to put yourself in a place where you can succeed. Beyond that, whatever happens is really out of your control. Be kind to yourself.

 

Good luck with everything!

 

xo

[WCSDancer2010]

@riverstyx

 

The only people who get the ax on here are the ones who attack others (and the spammers ...lol ) ... the last person to be deleted was not only becoming abusive on here, he was privately attacking another person in PM's (his language in the PM's was far less "polite" than his attacks on here BTW) ... so don't fear - you can rant all you want. We know that's part of the process. The bottom line for us is we won't tolerate anyone who attacks another or is judgmental ... we have people here who are in different "lifestyles", who have made mistakes within a relationship, etc ... part of the healing is being honest about your situation and feeling safe enough to be vulnerable here ... all it takes is one person being ugly and this whole place becomes tainted until they either apologize or are removed. They get a private warning from Adrial (and I sometimes get involved there too). Many will realize their errors and are fine after (sometimes we get caught up in our own stuff and forget how it affects others!) .. but some just unable to understand our policy and they are the ones who are swiftly removed ;) YOU my friend are just fine, so stop worrying ;)

 

Sounds like the meds are a good idea for you. *IF* you start having break-though OB's, make sure your professors understand that you have a medical issue (you don't have to be specific ... there are plenty of things that are worsened by stress) going on that is not helping right now ... if they know that you are pushing through in spite of something that would stop others in their tracks, and they can see that even with that you are shining then they should be even MORE impressed with your work.

 

However, the best thing you can do is to just find some way to focus on your work with an attitude that you are not attached to the outcome (sounds contradictory, I know)... in other words, try to remove as much of the stress of the outcome from the picture. Just do what you know you need to do. Don't allow yourself to get behind - do things in manageable blocks, etc. And TRUST that it will work out as it should. By taking *that* pressure off yourself, you may manage to keep the OB's under control. The last thing you need is a spiral where you get stressed, which causes a bad OB, which puts you behind, which causes more stress. YOU have the capacity to reduce the stress as much as possible - and removing the attachment to the outcome will help you a LOT. Do what you know you know best, with integrity, and you should get the result that you deserve ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

(PS read the section here on "Letting Go of Attachments to Outcomes"

 

http://zenhabits.net/zen-attachment/

 

 

[riverstyx]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Thank you Dancer for the personal reassurances. You always seem to know what to say to make me feel better and more comfortable and safe and assured.

 

If I may respectfully point out though, the issue wasn't having herpes, it was dealing with the depression and psychological fallout from my herpes scare. Remember, I got the Western Blot? And it came back "Indeterminate," but because only one single protein was reactive, and given it has been so very long since my last possible exposure, they said it was for all intents and purposes a negative? Plus, I got the HerpeSelect Immunoblot soon after, and it came back "Negative" on Friday.

 

BUT the reason I was concerned was because I didn't want to get the ax from Adrial for continuing to post on here. I mean, he may be like "Ok, well, you got your negative test results, now move on, we've got no more room for you here." THAT'S what I was concerned about. But I was posting cause my H health scare has left me in a pretty difficult situation psychologically. So there's that that I'm dealing with. You and a couple of others said it's classic depression, and that I should at least temporarily take medication for that.

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

You are still dealing with the "fallout" of your herpes scare ... so you are still one of "us" ;)

 

Again, the only thing you will get kicked off for is for being ugly/judgmental/etc ... ;)

[riverstyx]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Would you mind if I wrote you an email? I don't like to do so without first asking, but I know of no other way to ask than on this thread!

[WCSDancer2010]

Sure you can send me a private message on here ...

[riverstyx]

Thanks!