Lurker to member...

[ihaveittoo]

Hello all, been lurking here for awhile and thought it was time to finally come out of the shadows.

 

I'm a 47 year old male and have been H+ for 27 years now. Got herpes while a young Marine stationed overseas. Although I never tested positive, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck...it's herpes. I had the outbreaks swabbed on three different occasions, once within twelve hours of the start of the outbreak. All came back negative. One doctor told me at least 30% of herpes cases will never test positive. He assured me that what he saw was without a doubt herpes. He prescribed acyclovir and it cleared the outbreak up lickity split. Over the years the outbreaks came and went. Over the next 10 years I avoided relationships for the most part. I got pretty good at it. Did go out with one gal in that period who was hsv1+, but it didn't work out for reasons not related to herpes.

 

In 1996 I got online. Discovered a herpes group on AOL and for the first time really interacted with other + people. This lead me to an ASHA sponsored HELP group in my area. (Unfortunately it no longer exists) For the first time I interacted with others face to face. Talk about a huge relief. Learned alot from those meetings. Then one night on AOL I met the woman who would become my wife. She is also H+, so H really became a non issue. We've had two daughters together. Fortunately H did not become an issue during there births.

 

Over the last few years the outbreaks have really slowed down. They have become really mild to seemingly non existant.

 

To anyone who reads this who is newly diagnosed, you are very lucky to have this site available to you. Back in 1987 all I had available was a pamphlet. This site can help cut years off your emotional recovery. I would recommend looking into a HELP group if one is available in your area. Google ASHA, they have a current listing of groups. Meeting others face to face can be a HUGE help.

 

I'll wrap it up here. Just remember life is not over by any means. You've just ended up on a slight detour.

[willow]

Hey! And welcome to the forum! Im pretty new myself, joined in april.. and sooo thankfull i did.

Just wanted to say Thanks for sharing your story!

[WCSDancer2010]

@ihaveittoo

 

First - welcome .... and thank you sooooo much for adding your perspective/experience. I also was diagnosed in the 80's and had the same lack of information to deal with...tho I was in the UK at the time, my ex had just got it from me (it's how I found out I had it) and it ended up not being as traumatic for me until years later when the whole "asymptomatic shedding" issue came up and I was divorced and dating. But having already lived with it for a long time, the adjustment was a lot faster....

 

I hope you will pop in and give some advice and support from time to time. We could really use a male on here who has lived with it for quite awhile to help the men see that their lives WILL get back to normal some day :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Guest]

Your experience is pretty invaluable for men like me. I'm recently diagnosed and having a difficult time with it. I'm also ex-military and this has set me back considerably with the short-term goals I had set for myself.

[ihaveittoo]

@WCSDancer2010

 

Thank you for the welcome. I have read many of your posts. All I can say is you da woman. Wish I had half your communication skills. I have never been very good at saying what I want to say...you make it look so easy and I really appreciate that. Keep up the incredible work!

[WCSDancer2010]

Uh - I have just read some of your replies to folks on here and you have VERY good writing skills.... so glad to have you on board!!.... we need more guys in general AND having one who has a lot more life experience with H so that the guys can get your perspective....

 

:)