Need help......

[MC0704]

Hello; I have appointment on Monday to get tests to confirm HSV ( genital). I'm beside myself since I did not even have sex with this person. I was with someone June 27th. We had dry sex. He was down to his boxers at one point and my underwear never came off. A week later, I have all these symptoms. Very irritated, itchy, burning on outside vagina, significant discharge. No visible sores that I can see. Oh, and I looked' there are a couple marks which seem questionable, but not sure if it's my natural anatomy or a small lesion/blister. He did touch me down there and used his saliva. Can you get herpes from saliva?

 

I just know I have herpes. Ugh.... I have hearing loss and now I have this on top of it! I'm so upset. I didn't even sleep with him.

 

Please, help me through this . I have no one to talk to.

[moonrise]

Hello.

 

Yes, there's a chance that if a person has oral herpes (aka cold sores) they can pass it to a partner through oral sex (or just saliva, I guess), at which point it magically becomes genital herpes. Oral herpes is usually HSV-1 (genital herpes was traditionally HSV-2, but a lot of people have HSV-1 genitally), which typically doesn't "like" existing as genital herpes and is, reportedly, less virulent and maybe less contagious.

 

Hopefully you don't have it, or anything else; everyone's different, but when had my first outbreak, I definitely had sores.

 

I'm sorry you are stressing, but I think you'll find a lot of reassurance on this website. It really will be okay, whether you have herpes or not.

[WCSDancer2010]

Actually, I doubt it's HSV1 - it's not in the saliva ... the virus is in the blisters. Not convinced that it's herpes either.

 

Problem is, without a blister, I doubt they will get anything from a swab. If you get a blood test it may well come back negative at present IF you were just exposed to the virus... but it if comes back positive, then you have had this awhile and it's just to aggravated by all the rubbing .... it's very possible you have had H awhile without knowing it. Also, if you come back H+ for HSV1, you may well have had cold sores as a kid (or at least been exposed to them) and never had an outbreak on your mouth.

 

It could well be a whole bunch of things - chlamydia, bacterial vaginosis, thrush (VERY possible that its thrush as that definitely could be passed from the mouth/saliva.

 

I wouldn't panic just yet. See what the Dr says and what the tests reveal, and try not to worry too much until they come back. Right now the REALITY is you have some kind of really uncomfortable issue going on down there... until you have a diagnosis, don't overthink it and freak out. I'm not a betting person but unless you have had H for awhile, I'd guess that this is something else all together ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[MC0704]

Thank you. I was tested back in April 2013 and was negative for HSV 1 and HSV 2. Therefore, my question is if i did come in contact wih HSV 1 wouldn't I have developed blisters on my mouth since my vagina certainly reacted to the virus? I can't imagine it being HSV 2 since I had underwear on but maybe his penis did touch my vagina without me knowing?

 

How am going to disclose this to potential partners? I know if I do have it, it doesn't make me dirty, but I can't imagine dealing with the rejection . I just feel so unlucky....

[WCSDancer2010]

Not necessarily. Many people get H (oral or genital) and never have a noticeable symptom. That, combined with the fact that we are not regularly tested is the reason for the majority of the new cases...people have no idea that they are carriers.

 

Future partners? Well, for the next 4-6 months you will be in a holding pattern until you can get definitive blood work. However, if y ou can get the person who you were playing with to get tested, that may help you figure out what your possible risk is. While it's possible that they could come back H- if *they* were recently exposed, they will be ahead of you on the timeline for one ... and if they come up H+ you know your risk is definitely higher, but not assured.

 

As for the future, *if* you have H, your life definitely isn't over. I've had it for 35 years and while I've had a few "rejections" over it, I've been rejected for jobs, friendships, and many other non-H related things. Rejection isn't about you .... it's about them and their "deal-breakers" when it comes to relationships. When you get that, accepting it (not that it doesn't suck) is easier. I've also had several longer-term relationships (and a couple "false starts") with H- guys who accepted my having H.

 

For now, see what your Dr says, and we'll go from there. We have tons of Success Stories on here as well as tons of helpful advice and support. Perhaps this is just a life lesson for you and you will end up being H- ... so for now, maybe you can look at that aspect of it and try not to obsess on the things you may not have answers to for awhile, eh?

 

(((HUGS)))

[MC0704]

Ok; I'm just really scared to go to dr's tomorrow. I have finally come to a place where I've accepted my hearing loss and dealing with rejection from guys who don't wish to date someone with a hearing disability. I'm totally ok with that. But, it took me so long to get here. I did everything right. I didn't have sex with him and played it completely safe. What else could it possible be? 5 days after being with him, i have all these symptoms; that can't just be a coincidence. I'll wait to see what the doctor says and go for testing. I will keep you informed.

 

Thanks for being here......

[WCSDancer2010]

If a guy doesn't date you because of a hearing disability, he's not worth dating. Your "disability" is your wingman friend. I tell people that H is a wingman as well... it helps you to sort those who are worth putting your time into. So pull from what you have learned with your hearing loss and use it to get through this time....

 

There are many things you could have - bacterial vaginosis, thrush, etc.... so don't over think things until you see the Dr, ok?

 

(((HUGS)))

[whitedaisies]

Don't overreact. I know it's hard, but a doctor is exactly where you want to be at now....make sure you go wiht a list of questions so you don't get flustered and forget...I like to write mine down before hand.

 

If it is H, you already are ahead of a lot of us here, you have the tools already to deal with a diagnosis, to overcome something, you will be fine....whatever it is.

 

Listen to your doctor and insist on testing swab and/or blood.

 

Good luck.

[WCSDancer2010]

BTW, I would suggest that you go to an OBGYN or Infectious Disease Dr rather than a General Practitioner ... simply because GP's are often behind on their information. If you already have an appt with a GP, and you don't feel you got things properly addressed, then you may want to set up an appt with one of the others.....

[MC0704]

It's my OBGYN that I am seeing. Definitely terrified.

[MC0704]

Well, I just got back from OBGYN. She took culture of discharge and is testing for STD's. She said looks like a yeast infection. She said she didn't see any lesions to suggest herpes. I know that means squat. Going to get blood work anyway. Kind of don't want to, though. Ugh.....

 

I told her about the burning itch I had, and she said if it was herpes the itch and soreness would be more localized; not all over. I'm praying it is just a yeast infection or bacterial vaginosis, but I don't know?

[WCSDancer2010]

I agree with the OBGYN ... I already suggested yeast infection/thrush ....

 

Try not to over think this and just use it as a learning experience .... that we need to have the STD conversation before any kind of sex play and we have to take care of OUR sexual health first and foremost.....

 

AND, as someone with H for 35 yrs, IF you happen to be right, you life is FAR from over friend..... but somehow I think you are just dealing with a big wake-up call and a very treatable infection ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[MC0704]

Thank you. Is it possible to have all this itching but no sores if it is HSV 1 or 2? I thought the itching and burning led to lesions???? So confusing!

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Itching/burning is one of the main symptoms of Yeast infections ... I used to get them really bad......

 

Honestly, you need to stop worrying about this (because it won't change anything) until you get your results back honey. I guessed Yeast and your Dr thinks it's that too, so stop trying to convince yourself it's Herpes....until you get your results back you can't change anything and if anything you will make it worse with all the obsessing and stress you are adding to your body... ;)

[MC0704]

Well, cultures came back positive for yeast infection. My vagina still burns/itches on the outside, but no more discharge. Going to wait until the 8 week mark to get blood test for herpes. I still dont see any lesions, but I know not everyone develops them. II hope everything turns out ok? Don't know why I'm still itching on the outside, so this concerns me. This website has kept me sand, so I thank you so much for all your support!

[whitedaisies]

It's yeast. Why r u still worried?

[WCSDancer2010]

Yeast infections can be a nuisance and may take a few treatments - also, look online for yeast-free diet info ... you may be dealing with a reaction to sugar in your diet ... also, take a GOOD probiotic ... and if it just won't clear up, look for info on how to help re-establish the good bacteria in your vagina .... you may need to just find how to help your body to get back into balance ... yeast infections start because something has knocked the good bacteria down ... antibiotics, diet, stress, tight pants, etc. So you just have to figure out what set it of :(

[whitedaisies]

I had a really bad yeast infection once and my vagina swelled, it burned like heck and was so itchy. You have a yeast infection, I wouldn't worry about herpes. And I know wiht me my trigger was sugar. Cut down on your sugar....I also took acidophilous (sp?), go to your health food store I took it and it rebalances good bacteria in your system. It really helps and until you get theings under control, I would take it daily. Talk to the health food store employee......

[MC0704]

Hi again,

 

I know you all may be thinking I am paranoid and, yes, I was formally diagnosed as having a yeast infection. However, after the yeast infection healed I continued to have burning outside of my vagina. In addition, my buttocks and legs have been sore and I've read this is a symptom of herpes. The soreness is not from physical activity. I just really feel that I have it and I've been so sad and crying non-stop. And, I don't feel right posting on this forum because I haven't been formally diagnosed with herpes, but I need people to talk to for support. I just don't feel safe having sex again until I know. July 4th is when symptoms began. I would have to wait until Dec. to find out via blood test? I don't think I can wait that long? I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do with myself. If I do have it, how am going to find someone who accepts with a hearing loss and herpes. I'll need a saint and all I really want is a good guy to share my life with. I'm sorry, I just need someone to talk to.

 

Thanks

[Athena]

Hey @MC0704

First, take a breath hunny! Second, prepare for the worst but hope for the best! You are already here! You have tons of people at your finger tips who are here to talk to you and help you :) Don't work yourself up needlessly. Just wait and see what the results say love.

 

I'm not going to lie though...when I was first feeling pain they diagnosed me with a yeast infection then, a bacterial infection until finally it got so bad that I went back for a third visit where they visually diagnosed me and took a swab. It can happen. But it hasn't happened yet. You are being smart and taking precautions. Herpes is JUST A SKIN CONDITION it's NOT a big deal! REALLY. *shrug* Keep your head up, we are here :)

[MC0704]

Thanks, Athena. I really appreciate your response. I understand it's only a skin condition; it's the stigma that upsets me. I've made peace with my hearing disability and I have been turn down by guys because of it, which doesn't really bother me. If they can't accept me with my hearing loss, well, screw them. It's just NOW I very likely may have genital herpes, so if I find someone who is ok with my hearing loss but then not ok with me having herpes. I don't know how to handle that? Ugh...... I'm destined to be alone, I think.

[WCSDancer2010]

Stop buying into the stigma. Be proud of who YOU are with your hearing disability and whatever other "blemishes" you may pick up in your lifetime. There is someone for every one of us...

 

Do you know who Nick Vujicic is? A guy born with no arms and no legs. And now worries. He could have easily felt noone would love him, and I believe he did go through a pity party stage in life, but he's now married to a drop dead GORGEOUS woman and they now have a baby.

 

"Its a lie to think you are not good enough. It's a lie to think you are not worth anything."

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKTg_INHgpc

 

[WCSDancer2010]

And this is the story of him and his wife and their perfectly normal baby!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s3QezBvN1BE

 

[MC0704]

Thank you so much for sharing that. I have his book, "No Excuses". He's an amazing person.

 

I just can't help but to be nervous and scared, though. I know happiness is directly related to one's adaptability, and shit sometimes just happens, but it's so unfair. I keep praying to God to just take it away if I have it. My girlfriend has genital herpes (HSV 1) and she states that only one guy has rejected her because of it. However, while there are many positive disclosure posts on this site, there are also plenty of not so positive ones, which upsets me. I'm also mad because how I may have contracted it is so ridiculous. No sex. Just dry sex and him manually touching me using his saliva. Ugh..... So unfair!

[WCSDancer2010]

@MC0704

 

First thing that you have to get... Life Isn't Fair! If anything, it's been more fair to you than to Nick ... really! You have one or two challenges that people don't see (so they don't judge you before you even open your mouth). You can hug your friends and family. You don't have to rely on anyone to bathe you and help you get dressed. Count your blessings friend!

 

However, while there are many positive disclosure posts on this site, there are also plenty of not so positive ones, which upsets me.

 

I keep track of the Success Stories and the "Unsuccessful" stories, and I will tell you that there's about a 4 or 5:1 (Maybe even better!) ratio of success to unsuccessful stories on here. And the last "unsuccessful" one that I remember seeing may end up being a success story because he texted her and said he wants to talk about their possible future.

 

You see, this is the problem with Human Nature. We have soooo many wonderful things around us. So much beauty. So much to be thankful for. But we focus on the bad ... we put on blinkers and can't see the good. We say "Yeah but that one person had a bad outcome" and we focus on that and are SURE that our outcome will be the same. We look at our faults and WE magnify them 10x bigger than anyone else out there. We take one or two disappointments and decide that we might as well give up because, well, we are convinced we will always get the same result. Michael Jordan said it best about "failure":

 

I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.

 

You can't win if you don't take a shot at life. You have the choice. Believe the inner voice that wants you to be small and play small, or tell it to shut the f*ck up and get out there and live life. Yeah, you will have guys who walk away because of your hearing disability. And *IF* you have Herpes, maybe a few more will walk away. But thank them when they do, because now that guy has made room for you to be open for the MAN who will walk into your life and give you UNCONDITIONAL love ;)

 

We all have shit that will have to be "disclosed" to others... and it's not just Herpes. Check out my blog on it:

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/disclosure-its-not-just-about-herpes/

 

(((HUGS))) friend .... I hope you can find some way to see beyond the curtain you are hiding behind....

 

And BTW, go get checked out for the yeast infection again ... you may well have not cleared it up completely. They can be a S.O.B to clear up.... and you may need to change your diet (get off sugars) or look at what may be causing you to get them because yeast infections are a sign that something is out of balance in your system.