First year almost over. Still bad.

[Groundhog_day]

So it has been almost a year since I was diagnosed HSV2. It was pretty traumatic and had an ugly primary outbreak. I tested + via swab and it took about 6 months to get a + blood test. The person that gave me this denied it all and blamed me. He was a friend of the family and the whole scenario caused so much conflict and heartache. I started on Valtrex initially then got off. Now I am back on because I am basically always having mild(?) OBs ( no blisters, just a couple mosquito bite tender spots that sometimes turn into sores) I eat healthy, excercise, take vitamins, etc. this last year has been the worst of my life (along with dx) facing divorce, financial ruin, constant family conflict, and single parenthood. I constantly worry about the h and it's effect on my body and life. Facing each day has become harder and harder. I worry this will only get worse and worse. Worried myself into panic attacks and itrrational thinking (like I have it on my face now, or constantly tingling everywhere in my body =somatosize symptoms ?).

Also should mention I had issues with OCD , hypochondria, and severe anxiety before I was diagnosed.

 

Is this normal for first year or is the stress what is killing me slowly?? I am otherwise obsessively healthy. And have no other immune issues to my knowledge. Worry that my late anti-body blood test means my body will never fight this :(

 

I guess I am wallowing in self-pity , but I fear this will only get worse or I am over exaggerating my situation in my own mind.

 

This has damaged me physically, emotionally, & financially. I don't know how to come to terms with it all.

I don't even care about dating/ sex life because I have accepted that part of my life is over , not strictly because of h alone but because I will never have the self-worth to pursue a healthy relationship.

 

 

Any advice would help.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Groundhog_day

 

First, hello and welcome!

 

My first suggestion is to just hang here with us for awhile .... we have so many who come on here scarred and broken and convinced their love life is over and within weeks or months they are seeing a whole different side to Herpes.

 

One thing for sure... having OCD, hypochondria, and anxiety won't be helping you....BUT, you can use Herpes to help you learn better ways to deal with them ... because it's going to trigger that part of you. Are you in therapy for them? I would suggest that you get some professional help in that area to help you learn coping skills.

 

As far as the OB's - yes - you may well have mild OB's on and off for the rest of your life ... tho over the years it *should* get better. After 35 yrs I hardly get anything at all ... also hormones (ie, your period), certain foods (check the FAQ section for info on trigger foods), and stress can cause an OB.

 

Worry that my late anti-body blood test means my body will never fight this

 

I'm not at all sure what you mean here, but the timing of the blood test will have no bearing at all to your immune system and how it affects the virus.

 

I don't know how to come to terms with it all.

 

Like I said, hang here for awhile. We look at Herpes and life in general a little differently than most ... we actually see H as an OPPORTUNITY to learn, grow, and create better relationships...with our friends and family ans well as ourselves.

 

Regarding relationships: we have many who are convinced they will never get into another relationship who come on a few months later (some before then!) to report that a really amazing person came into their life and they are in the healthiest relationship ever....so give it time.... ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[Groundhog_day]

Thanks so much for the sound advice

Some days just feel worse than others and having even one H spot appear sends me into an emotional tailspin .

I know stress is a huge trigger for me and I have an unbeliever amount right now. I guess I just wish I was one of those "lucky" people that don't deal with regular outbreaks.

Having to take meds (and still have mild symptoms) makes me feel very helpless.

It is hard to imagine a "normal life" or days when I don't constantly think about this and basically let it define me completely.-- but the member stories on here are encouraging.

Thanks again

[WCSDancer2010]

I know stress is a huge trigger for me and I have an unbeliever amount right now. I guess I just wish I was one of those "lucky" people that don't deal with regular outbreaks.

 

Most people have plenty of stress. The difference is how we deal with it. A lot of the "luck" of how bad and frequent some peoples OB's are has to do not only with the amount of stress they experience, but how they handle it. One of the H "Opportunities" is to learn to better manage your stress (meditation, personal growth work, making changes in your life to remove toxic stress, etc). I just watched a great Oprah show where the guest (can't remember who it was) was talking about coming at every life situation from a place of calm and groundedness, which helped him through a very very stressful life situation. It is THAT that you may want to put your focus on... to do so will not only help you to start to feel more in control of your H situation, but your life in general. I know for myself, since I learned to not let things "get to me", my life has been completely different.

 

You have a choice: allow H to make you a victim, or take control of what you can (the majority of which is in your mind ... the stigma, the anxiety, etc. We can choose to learn and grow from situations or allow them to consume us. When you are in the middle of it I know it can be hard to see how you can reach that place, but if/when you do, future events will have less impact on you. ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

[whitedaisies]

I will suggest something that is plain simple.....therapy. If you have other issues like OCD and your life is pretty stressful, therapy will help for H plus all the other things you have going on.

 

Honestly, I wasn't a believer in therapy prior to my contraction of this virus, but I was in emotional turmoil as well when I got this as are lots of people. Depression set in and I just didn't want to live my life like that. I have constant outbreaks as well and Valtrex doesn't really help me, naturalpath says try a gluten, dairy free, red meat free, diet for a body cleanse....ugh...postponing starting that as you can imagine its no fun!

 

Anyway, I can say that after 2 months of therapy of which I spoke about herpes for the first month non-stop, I have now started focusing on other things, like other areas of my life that need addressing....and I never forget I have herpes as the constant symptoms are a reminder, but I am managing to start living again.....and I would highly recommend therapy to anyone coming to terms wiht their diagnosis.

 

Good luck