Terrified

[AshleyW]

Ok I don't even know where to start. I've been with my boyfriend for almost three months now. I disclosed before anything sexual happened and he was okay with everything. We have been super careful and I take valtrex daily. We had sex Friday and I woke up Saturday with a blister. I did not have any prodrome symptoms at all. Now he says his testicles feel chapped and I am terrified that I transmitted herpes to him. I cannot even think straight and just want to cry all day. I just don't know what to do.

[WCSDancer2010]

First - BREATHE and calm down.

 

Yes - it's *possible* he got it from you. But it's also JUST as possible that he didn't and he's just got some dry skin at the moment. You freaking out will not help him no matter what .... you both went into the relationship knowing that there is a *risk* you could pass it on .... just as there is a risk that you can die/get injured in a car accident every time you get in a car..... there will ALWAYS be that risk for you and it's all about doing what you can to reduce your risks and LIVING LIFE .... and sometimes, things just don't go the way you want them to. AND, he may well just have chapped testicles ;)

 

I literally just wrote a blog about STD's, Sex, and Risk ..... perhaps if you read it it will help you to accept the reality that LIFE ASSUMES RISK .... and when things happen, we have to accept that and move forward. Anything else is self-defeating and will keep you from living life to the fullest.....

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/driving-yourself-crazy/

 

(((HUGS)))

[whitedaisies]

Make sure he sees a doctor and tell the doc your bf's symptoms; insist on swab and blood if there is something to swab. That's all you can do...I know it's hard but your boyfriend obviously cares about you as you disclosed H to him and he was willing to risk it because you are worth it. So yes, it isn't the best that he could have got it from you, but you can't be celibate your whole life just so you don't transmit to anyone....so you have to come to terms wiht this potential. I am not saying its easy....I haven't got there yet, but at least you have a bf that can see past your virus and see the real you! Be happy! Wait for the doctor's appointment, as it could be nothing too!

 

Cheers! Good luck!

[WCSDancer2010]

BTW... sex *can* trigger an outbreak - meaning that nothing was happening at all in your body during the sex .... it's really common when people are first diagnosed but it can happen any time.... it's possible if you had a little rough sex or you stayed in one position for awhile or whatever that you may have just irritated a spot that flared up.

 

(((HUGS)))

[AshleyW]

You guys are awesome :) thanks for calming me down, I am feeling much less stressed about it now.

[whitedaisies]

Good luck and let us know what happens!!!

[whymegirl]

Ugh. Let us know.

[AshleyW]

I know exactly what you mean. I didn't want to freak him out but I was worried. So I did exactly what I always do and run to google to think I figured something out haha. He actually saw that I was looking it up on my google history and I was mortified. But he hugged me and kissed me and told me that I didn't need to worry so much. I feel super lucky and appreciative to have someone so understanding :) Sorry for being mushy lol.

[whymegirl]

Awwwwww no thats so amazing