In need of an advice :(

[steven90]

please try not to be too judgmental, I know I made a mistake and just got scared to disclosed.

I met a girl at work, one time from work we all went out we had fun at the end of the night I gave this girl a ride home we stay in the car talking until we ended up kissing then a week later we went out again we talked she told me that she didnt know how stuff happened with me but she was kinda talking to someone else, anyway that conversation stayed like that, we didnt talk about that anymore and for that whole week we saw eachother almoust every day until friday we had a friends bbq we went together we had fun but I had a lot of drinks as well, I wasn't planning to had sex with her, my plans was to wait until I was comfortable to tell her my secret but that night I was tipsy (I am not excusing my mistake.) and she told me that she didn't want to go home that why we don't stay together she didn't wants to sleep by herself and I wanted to huge her at least, I never thought about making a move to be with her, we got to the Hotel room and she laid next to me almoust naked we started to kiss and we end up making love, I used a condom but at the end we did it without it, :(. next day I was devastating my day was a hell all I could think about is how was going to disclose to her after being together it was killing me I started to take the daily medication we kept seeing each other we had sex couple other times and I was ok because I wanted a life with her but she didn't want to and now we are breaking up and I feel like I'm the worst trash in this world Im scared of her getting it, I dont know what to do everytime I close my eyes I feel a big pressure in my chess I dont want to ruin her life and I feel like I did. help please. :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@steven90

 

Hello and welcome!

 

Unfortunately I'm trying to get out the door so this will be shorter than I might usually post so please don't take it as being judgemental or whatever, but I'm going to have to give you some tough love.

 

You not only didn't disclose, you didn't use a condom. So like it or not you really need to man up, put on your big boy panites, and tell her. AND, when you tell her YOU need to get HER STD results as well ... because she could also be carrying something (knowingly or otherwise) that YOU could get.

 

She told you from the beginning that she's interested in someone else. At this point she is going to be on "hold" for 4-6 months to get her all clear (assuming she didn't get it from you) so she needs to know so she can get tested ASAP, and if she's in the clear, test again in 4 months.

 

I think you know what you have to do. The longer you wait, the longer you will have this knot in your stomach. So bite the bullet and do it. Print out the handouts from here (links below) and give them to her and direct her here if she needs support or more information. We'll take care of her.

 

The true mark of a person isn't that they never make mistakes ... we all do at some time or other. What matters is how you clean it up.

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

 

Herpes facts video

 

 

[whitedaisies]

Well, You are human and you made a mistake. Won't be your last, but I will say, don't beat yourself over it; just go do the right thing.

 

I know, it's so hard having this virus and feeling vulnerable and fearing that you won't be accepted. So all of us on this site understand and we can certainly empathize. So a big hug to you b/c I know you know you did something wrong out of fear and that's hard.

 

But now you have to accept the consequences and maybe directing her to this site and having her read the successful disclosure stories...showing her how hard it is to tell someone this "secret". But be ready to accept her anger and fear.

 

Good luck