Just found out I have genital herpes HSV-1, please help answer my questions

[Dani_622]

I just found out I have hsv1 genital herpes. I feel like betrayed and I'm sure just like everyone else, thinking about having to tell my future boyfriend/husband stresses me out and makes me really upset. I never thought I would have an std, especially a lifetime std. I feel depressed. will be 24 years old in less than 1 month. I cannot stop thinking about it. I'm currently single. It's hard enough finding a good man. But now I have an additional challenge. How do you even tell someone?

 

I am currently sleeping with 1 guy only (for the past 5 months) & we always use condoms. We only had unprotected sex 1 day in March. Is it safe to assume that it is most likely him who gave me hsv1? Without knowing maybe? I'm scared to discuss this with him but I feel like he might have been the one to give me the virus. As his friend (for 9 years now), I feel like I should tell him especially because I haven't slept with any other guy in 5 months. I have not slept with him since I found out. But he has been wanting to. And I keep making excuses not to. Because I know I can't right now especially. He obviously needs to get tested but I'm really scared to tell him. I understand that this virus may show up either weeks or years after exposure, which is why im hesitant to tell him. Because what if it's not him? But also what if I infected him with the virus already? Most guys would probably think I'm disgusting and never talk to me again.

 

I would also like to know:

 

1. How long do these "outbreaks" usually last? And how often do they come (I know it varies from person to person) but I would like to know on average.

(It is almost going to be 3 weeks since I first noticed the outbreak. I went to the doctor right away and she gave me medication for 7 days. An ointment + pills. But I still have 1 bump left that won't go away. I have also been trying natural remedies like oregano oil and coconut oil. Has this worked for anyone? What are other natural remedies I should try?

 

2. Is is better to take medication every single day? (The doctor told me I had the option of either taking medication every single day but she said she can also just give me medication for 7 days every time I get an outbreak - and I thought this was a better option)

 

3. I know it's too soon to worry about pregnancy but that's also something that scares me and would like to know more about.

 

4. Also I read in web MD that sometimes even condoms are enough to protect others from virus and the virus in general makes your immune system very weak so you're twice as likely to be infected with HIV. This terrifies me because I take asthma medication every single day and my immune system is already suppressed from this, leaving me very vulnerable. I should mention that I do yoga/workout a lot and eat as healthy as I can most of the time. What else can I do?

 

Im sorry for asking a million questions and writing so much but I just need to let it all out. It feels a little better knowing that I'm not alone but it's still not enough. I've been crying almost everyday I'm scared. Please help

[WCSDancer2010]

@Dani_622

 

Hello and Welcome..

 

First - BREATHE! As a 35 yr veteran of H, mother of 2 children and who has had 2 H- BF's post divorce, I can tell you that Herpes won't keep you from finding love and living the life of your dreams ;)

 

I'm going to cut straight to your questions... but do know you can use the Search option on here and a lot of answers can be found in the FAQ section

 

It's very, very likely you got it from your current partner AND you may have got it from either genital sex OR oral sex. HSV1 is otherwise known as cold sores when they appear on the mouth, and many don't understand that they can pass it on with oral sex. In fact, 50% of all new Genital H is HSV1 and most of that is from oral sex.

 

To your direct questions..

 

1) How long do OB's last? direct answer is it depends. H affects each person differently. Some have ongoing, unrelenting OB's for months for the first year. Others NEVER ever have a symptom. I'm adding links and suggestions to help you manage it below:

 

2) Medication: it's up to you and your Dr what is best for you. If you don't have a partner, they it depends on your pain tolerance and whether you can deal with the OB or not. If/when you are going into a new relationship then I'd personally suggest that you take the meds for at least the first year or until you are reasonably sure you are a reasonably committed partnership.There is no right answer to this.

 

3) Pregnancy isn't a problem. Make sure all the Dr's/nurses you have know you have H... the normal procedure is to put you on the antivrials for the last month to help keep you from having an OB right before delivery...

 

4) Condoms only give you 50% protection.... if the virus/ob is on the testicles/perineum, etc then the condom can't protect you from the virus.

 

This terrifies me because I take asthma medication every single day and my immune system is already suppressed from this, leaving me very vulnerable.

 

Well anyone with a compromised immune system needs to do everything they can to help to support it.... the links below will help, and others will likely chime in ....

 

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1802/going-the-natural-route

Regarding managing H:

 

 

Pain and Itching

 

4 quick suggestions:

 

Go Commando as much as possible - getting air to the area can help to dry it out more quickly

 

Reduce stress as much as possible - Herpes feeds off stress!!! It can become a good barometer for you that your body needs attention in some form or other

 

Look up Trigger Foods/triggers on here in the FAQ and search bar - lots of topics on them ... the main foods are chocolate and nuts but you want to learn about the Lysine/Argenine balance that can help keep Herpes under control

 

Epsom Salts baths can do wonders for some. Sit in the bath and dump a few handfuls of the salts right between your legs. Relax and let the salts do their thing then get out and dry off, finishing with a blow drier set on low heat to really get the area dry.

 

These 4 things seem to do the most help for the most people. Aloe Vera CREAM (make sure ALOE is one of the first ingredients and there isn't a bunch of other crap like petroleum and if it has glycerine, it's AFTER the Aloe in the ingredients .. go to a Health food store for your best chance of getting a good product) or Zinc cream may help during the day to keep it from sticking and help relieve the pain ..

 

Also: Gold Bond Spray powder - right after exercising/hot showers/etc. Supposedly really cools the area ;)

 

 

These links should help you to get some clarity on the stats/symptoms :)

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes-detailed.htm

 

(((HUGS)))

[Dani_622]

Thank you so much !

[WCSDancer2010]

If you need help with the disclosure, let us know, but your best bet is to check out the Success Stories section ... lots of great stories to help you get encouragement and ideas of how to approach it with him. As a quick help, this little "disclosure" is something I wrote awhile back, adapted for you:

 

You know the cold sores people get on their lip? I just started getting them down there. Do you know if you have ever had cold sores before? Because if you have, its likely I got it from you. If you have you will have the antibodies and it would be difficult for you to get it from me. If you are not sure, then we need to be careful ... HSV1 doesn't shed much but I can take suppressive meds and/or we can use condoms until you get tested. 80% of people have HSV1 so you may have it and not know" …so it would be best if you get tested first so you know for sure. Here's a handout that has some statistics if you are interested...

 

Given the time frame of your first OB, it's highly likely you got it from him one way or the other, so he just plain needs to get tested ;)

[T_p_]

I found out I am hsv-1 positive a little over a year ago, and I have not had an outbreak since. It is different for everyone, but my doctor told me that hsv-1 is most commonly more mild since this strain doesn't necessarily like being "down there". It loses some of its power when it isn't in the mouth area.

 

My first outbreak wasn't terrible, but I agree the warm baths help a lot and using a blow drier. I took anti vitals until it cleared up. Now I take one pill a day for suppression because it makes my boyfriend more comfortable. I also used Melissa (lemon balm) essential oil and tincture during the outbreak- it burned a bit but it helped the areas clear up a lot quicker when I got it and heal.

 

I found that keeping myself unstressed helps even if I haven't had an outbreak- I like having peace of mind that I am doing things necessary to keep myself healthy.

[Tangerine]

I was diagnosed with HSV-1 in November of 2013, and I've had two outbreaks. One was the first one that lasted a couple of weeks ( no meds) and the second one was about four to five months later. That one was much more mild and lasted less than a week. I was on acyclovir three times a day for that one though. Since then I've had no issues (that was in March). I also recommend using epsom salts in the bath, dumped right between your legs. That seems to dry up the sores a lot more.

 

Hope this helps!

[Dani_622]

Thanks a lot I really appreciate this. I already told him last night (before even reading this) and he took it very well. He said he got tested in June and everything was fine. I encouraged him to get tested again. It seems that the best option is to take daily meds if you're in a serious relationship.

[WCSDancer2010]

Just make sure he actually ASKS for the HSV testing for both kinds ... odds are he may well *think* he was tested and wasn't ...

 

Well done for talking to him!!!! ((HUGS)))