Hsv-1

[countrygirl109]

Hey! I'm new here, I just got some results yesterday from my doctor saying I had Hsv-1 genital.. Not entirely sure what all that means.. As for my current relationship(he is the one who gave this to me) I don't know how to tell him yet. However I have read and my doctor has told me that if he has it orally it is very unlikely for him to get it genital.. If anyone could offer some insight into more information for me that would be very welcomed. Please!

[WCSDancer2010]

@countrygirl109

 

Hello and welcome!

 

Have to make this quick because I'm heading out but yes, your Dr is right ... if he already has HSV1 (oral or genital) it will give him *some* immunity to getting it on the other area...but we DO have a couple people here who managed to get it in both places. You will want to be more cautious for the first 4-6 months at least because your body has no immunity so you are more likely to be shedding during that time. The best thing to do is to tell him and explain that you got the "cold sore" version and ask if he's ever had them ... if so, that's your answer ... if not, you may want to get him tested because it is possible you have carried it for awhile and not known it. I'd suggest he get tested for both kinds of HSV (and anything else if he hasn't been tested recently ... make sure he asks for EVERYTHING including Chlamydia and HSV)

 

These links will get you started and i know others will chime in. I'll come back to answer anything else you have later today ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

 

FAQs:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1758/frequently-asked-questions-on-herpes-and-popular-conversations/p1

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://herpeslife.com/how-can-you-get-herpes/

 

Herpes facts video

[whitedaisies]

Hi Countrygirl!

 

Dancer is right, you likely got GHSV1 from oral sex from your BF if he has it orally.

 

GHSV1 tends to shed less and tends to be less in number of outbreaks, but everybody is different. Hopefully you will be one of those! :)

 

I know this is something hard to tell, especially when you think you got it from your current BF....very delicate....try not to blame....sounds like you aren't.

 

My recommendation is just take a deep breath, there is nothing to be ashamed of. When we engage in sex with someone, these things can happen unfortunately. Ask him to get tested to ensure he has the virus as if he has it, the risk is a lot less than if he doesn't. There are a lot of disclosure stories on here you can read to give you courage.

 

You will do just fine; I have a good feeling. Come on here anytime, there are always people dropping in and out to lend support....good people here!

 

Take good care. Good luck and lots of hugs!

 

:)

 

 

 

[countrygirl109]

I'm worried he will think I am mad, when I bring it up to him, I am a grown woman I can consciously make decisions, he had a spot on his lip the night I do believe I got this. Never thought of it, as it just simply looking like nothing to worry about. But like I said I just don't want him to think I am mad- towards him! thanks so much guys! I'm at work now but will look into those links when I'm home:)

[countrygirl109]

He also lives four hours away so we only see each other every couple of weeks, I do not want to have the conversation with him over text.. Or over the phone. So I have time to ponder on what to say. However I would like to mention too him, maybe that I think I have a cold sore on my mouth(since he won't see me for awhile) and see if he says, something like oh I get those too! Does that seem normal? I don't think I'm normal anymore, I'm loosing it worrying lol

[whitedaisies]

You will be ok. Don't worry. You are such a sweetie to worry about him and how he feels. You are a lovely person. It is awkward I know. But I would say never lie!!! It's always better to be open and honest, trust me, I learned the hard way. You will be ok. Be genuine and just say next time u see each other you would like to chat. And I know it is hard but u will be ok. Trust urself and trust ur partner.

 

Special hugs to u I know u r worried.

[countrygirl109]

Thanks:) I'm glad I have extra time to think of something to say, also to get all the facts I can learned so he isn't worried or anything either. Ooftah this is going to make me grow very old, at 25 I think!

[whitedaisies]

I would not say old. I would say mature.

 

U will grow up a lot with this diagnosis. For the better!!!!

 

You will learn vulnerability and responsibility at such am authentic level.

 

You will be a better person and u seem pretty great already. ;).

 

When all else fails, I eat donuts!!!!!

[countrygirl109]

For some reason I've been eating cereal to cope! Lol seems funny to say that outloud! Thanks!! I try to be pretty good, up until recently I had it pretty good so I try to give back and help as much as possible.,. So now Ii am going to become like you guys, and just get all my knowledge and help people like me! I'm also going to school for psychology so maybe someday I can really assist people like me on here:)

[whitedaisies]

Wow!!! Wonderful!!! You are a good egg! ;)

[whitedaisies]

I would luv a discount. Lol. Will be in therapy for years!!!!

[countrygirl109]

Lol! I will for sure give you a discount:) in like 6 years when I'm done with school lol!

[whitedaisies]

Thx. I will definitely take u up on it!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

You know what - this is going to make you a MUCH better psychologist when you finish school ... because you will know what stigma feels like. Adrial did talk with 3 other people with various STD's and issues recently as a sex-positive convention and they did an exercise where they each had to pick an STD and "disclose" to someone ... several said that actually acting it out made them realize how difficult it is ... and I was thinking, "Why have these people never had to practice a disclosure about something that might be embarrassing or uncomfortable for them?". Even so, actually HAVING something like this will be even more powerful for you...

 

As far as what to tell him, check out the Success Stories ... and I have come up with a sample disclosure for H1 (and another for H2) ... this may help a bit, but don't try the thing about something on your lip.... otherwise if he learns that it helps you get immunity, he may figure out something wasn't kosher. As @whitedaisies said, stick with the truth ;)

 

Simplest way is to say "You know the cold sores people get on their lip? I just started getting them down there. So if you've had a cold sore, you may have passed it to me. I'm not blaming you if you did but we need to figure out if you have it. If you have the antibodies it would be difficult for you to get it from me down there. If you are not sure, then we need to be careful ... HSV1 doesn't shed much but I can take suppressive meds and/or we can use condoms until you get tested. 80% of people have HSV1 so you may have it and not know" …so it would be best if you get tested first so you know for sure. Here's a handout that has some statistics if you are interested...

 

 

((HUGS)))

[countrygirl109]

Thanks guys for all the help. I really appreciate it. Upon hearing the "diagnoses" I felt like a lost dog in mall. Or something crazy. still not sure entirely but reading a little each day is shedding light on some of my fears. Kind of.. And I've got a good support system of the people who do know thanks guys!!!