Fingering and touching uninfected genitals... Can herpes be spread this way?

[happies66]

I feel so terrible. I'm really close to disclosing, I was actually going to do it today, but something happened last night. We were making out, there was some over the clothes touching and very brief fingering. I stopped him and he then touched his genitals. I'm mortified.. Did I just possibly spread the virus? After disclosing, do I now need to tell him he should get tested?

[whitedaisies]

Well hummmm. I am not a doctor but I woul say the risk is low. The virus really has to be rubbed into the skin for a while. Are u on suppressive Meds? We're u having an outbreak at the time? If if u are on Meds and weren't having an outbreak I would say risk is extremely low.

 

Don't be mortified. There's nothing to be mortified about, you did not create this virus, u just have it.

 

Do the right thing and disclose and don't e so hard on urself, hormones can make us get caught up in the moment but u need to disclose before thigs go further.

 

Hugs!!!

 

Btw u should ask him to get tested anyway before u get intimate so u know what he has and could possibly give to u!!!

 

Xo

[WCSDancer2010]

As @Whitedaisies said, your risk is pretty low - unless you were having a OB if you were (possibly) shedding, the amount of virus that *might* be present would be low and it would take a whole lot of "bad luck" circumstances for the virus to survive long enough to gain entry to his system..... but good for you that you stopped things when you did. It's all too easy for the brain to switch off when you get to that point ;)

 

This will give you the exact excuse to have the talk though. You can lead into it by saying "You know the other night, when I stopped you from touching me? Well, it's because I need to talk to you first about both of our STD status's." And then tell him your status, and ask if he knows for sure whether he's been tested, because as whitedaisies said, you need to look after YOU too!

 

I know it may not seem romantic, but a "date" to a STD clinic would give you both the reassurance of where you stand and will show you if he is willing to also be 100% open with you about anything HE might have. For instance, if you are HSV2+, and he comes up with HSV1+ odds are he has it orally, but that would be something YOU have to be aware of if you have oral sex.... and you can point that out to him....

 

If he's not willing to do that, it tells you that he might be afraid of the results, and that is a warning bell for me ;)

 

(((HUGS)))