What to do? Testing? Wait? Paranoia? Be alone?

[Reachout2014]

Alright guys,

Sincerely, I'm at a loss for what next steps I should be taking. I fully accept that I was diagnosed GHSV2 positive from a culture test. Of course I've been dealing with a slew of emotion. But what's eating me are the "what's next?" steps.

 

Alright let's start at the beginning, at least the beginning of my herpes plight. I have had only two sexual partners in my life, the most recent one was my giver. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. My first relationship was a four year run of flat out abuse. I was cheated on twice and then post break up he enjoyed coming around to feed me pretty lies to get sex. Now you are thinking (wow you got herpes from this guy for sure) doubtful. That relationship ended October 2013. I was free! For months I spent time alone and was perfectly ok with that. In March 2014 I went for my annual gyn appointment and requested to be tested for all stds including herpes. Blood was drawn, urine tested, etc. They said everything was clear. I was very relieved at the time. Anyway around June and July I starred to get the lonely bug. But refused to give in to my friends coaxing. Anyway in the end they ended up introducing me to my giver. I guess I got weak and he instilled the "you might miss something really great if you don't open yourself up to others". I thought about that and dated him for a month. We did the deed. Genitally and orally. And boom HERPES. The best part is and the real kicker was the fact that I asked about his sexual health and he got super defensive. To add more to the irony we used a condom for genital contact. More irony he didn't know he had it and doesn't have symptoms. So when I told him he was obviously shocked but apparently not surprised. Anyhow he has fled the scene which is sad because I slept with him with the hope that we would be something. But apparently our h status made him feel "forced" to be with me which is never good. And I've called asking for support but he simply replies "I'm honestly not sure if it'll be ok. But it's a waste of time for you to feel sad about it". Thanks...He's gone I'm not that upset about it honestly more just the herpes itself. But I do have this inner feeling of "all men tear me down and leave me more and more undesirable for the next". Ugh

 

Anyway I'm 3 weeks into this H positive life. I'm insanely paranoid as mentioned in a previous post about spreading the little bugger around my body and I can't really tell if my panic is leading to false alarm symptoms. So my question is how long do I wait before getting a blood test that will give me positive results? Since I have oral and genital sex do I have it on my mouth? My lips have been very chapped but that could be due to panic, constant looking at it etc. I haven't really noticed anything that looks like a blister but I'm still concerned. I'm visiting an eye doctor tomorrow as well to check my eyes as I am concerned about spread there as well.

 

What am I supposed to do? Wait until something else goes wrong to get tested? I don't want to lose my sight or have super herpes everywhere. And then in the meantime until I get a positive test ( just to see if I have hsv1 as well or some clue as to if I have problems in my mouth as well) am I supposed to remain alone until I have the facts. Like wait 6-8 months for tests before aiming for any type of relationship because i don't know what to disclose.

 

Then there is the support thing. I have one friend who knows about my status. My giver is history. I'm 23 and definitely not a child but for some reason I feel like I want to talk to an older person about it. Can't tell my parents. My mom stopped communicating with me for half a year when she found out I had sex with my first boyfriend. So no hope there. I don't know I kind of just want to hear that this is all going to be ok from someone. Adrial, I just want to hug you for creating HOPP and for reaching out to so many. Because right now I feel like this is all o have.

 

I'm just feeling so isolated, alone in this and so darn afraid of doing more damage to myself with this virus. It's like I don't even feel like I'm living properly. I want to feel free to shave, wash my face, brush my teeth and do my make up without the fear of spreading everything. I've read the research and stats but, it's still so daunting. Hurry up antibodies and protect me!!!

 

Just words of comfort please..I think that's what I need.

 

Thanks guys and love you. If you got through reading this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[whitedaisies]

So u r definitely at te right place and b4 I say anything else, I want to give u a big virtual squeeze and bear hug. You will be ok. Your body will get used to the virus. Just be careful in the first little while to wash ur hands after touching an outbreak w soap and water.

 

Dancer is our resident "mom" and she will respond shortly.

 

It's unfortunate that these things are happening but don't make them be in vain. Use it to make urself better for te next guy that comes around and for u!!!!

 

There are lots of men out there that accept their GF or wife's herpes and there are lots of disclosures on here that went well. You may also want to read the herpes veteran discussions.

 

You likely just have hsv2 genitally and u would know if u had it in ur mouth, u would have extreme symptoms. As for the giver, u won't know til the other party gets teste and they may never do that.

 

You will be ok. Go on antivirals if u are worried about spreading like valtrex. Ask ur doctor if u can use it for suppressive therapy to help w ur anxiety of spreading it.

 

Lots of hugs

[Reachout2014]

I am also extremely sorry. I don't know why but my phone posted this four different times. I can't find how to take it down :-( sorry guys

 

[WCSDancer2010]

@Reachout2014

 

First - BREATHE! I promise it will be ok. I've had this 35 yrs (if you need to talk to an old fart I'm your person!!! LOL )

 

Anyhow he has fled the scene which is sad because I slept with him with the hope that we would be something. But apparently our h status made him feel "forced" to be with me which is never good.

 

So Herpes acted as a Wingman for you. Got a jerk out of your life before he damaged you in MUCH worse ways than giving you a virus. Any person who gives you a virus then doesn't want to feel "trapped" by it wasn't planning to stay in the first place :(

 

If you have a positive culture test, then no need for the blood test .... it's as accurate as you will get and yours was typed so you even know what you have. Don't fret about H2 on your lips - only 1-2% of all oral cases are H2 and you'd likely know it by now..... H1 ... well, you can test in 6-8 months but 80% of the population has it anyway so I wouldn't sweat it in the meantime ....

 

About spreading it around.... stop over thinking it. Yes, wash your hands and take care but honest, as I already told you, the vast majority of Ocular (eye) herpes is children with H1 who scratch their lip then immediately touch their eyes. given that you are aware of the possibility of spreading it you are far more likely to do all the things you need to prevent it from happening (wash hands after touching the area).

 

So what to do??? GO OUT AND LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU DID PRE-HERPES! Nothing has changed for 99% of your activities. The only time it will be an issue is if/when you enter another relationship and need to disclose and decide on what preventative measures you and your partner want to agree on. ;) You can wash your face and wear your make-up and do all that stuff - if you couldn't 80% of the population would be a blistery mess right now ;)

 

As for talking to someone ... well, trusted friends are good. Local support groups are great (Google it ... but we have a list as well for the better known ones) Keep coming on here. Get to the H Opp weekend if you can. You'll be surprised how many people know someone with H or who have it themselves when you open up about it ;)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-support-groups/

 

(((HUGS)))