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My future partner has herpes

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Hello and Welcome!


I've had 2 - three year relationships where my partners didn't get H from me. The simple answer is that first, you are fortunate that your partner knows their status because they can take measures to protect you. 80% of all people with H don't know they have it, which makes ignorance the major cause of the spread of Herpes.


So, you don't say which strain (H1 or 2) they have or where they have it. Transmission rates vary depending on the strain ... and if they have HSV1 genitally and you have had cold sores in the past, that will give you *some* immunity to the virus. So it helps to know what you are dealing with so you can figure out what measures you wish to take as a couple.


The simple version is that condoms will give you a 50% reduction of risk ... the main factor with a condom is whether it covers the area where the person has their OB's and thus may shed in that area ...


Anti-virals will give you a 50% or better (depending on what literature you read) reduction of risk especially after the person has had H for at least a year (and thus their body is controlling it better).


Read the handouts and e-book here and then come back with any questions you may have:


Handouts + disclosure e-book:



And check these links out:






Herpes facts video


And by the way, good for you for doing your research and for seeing that H doesn't define your partner. ;)



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@Motoman101 hello! I have HSV2 & my boyfriend does not. I am always honest about how my body is feeling and we use condoms. I do not take suppressive therapy, I take Lysine once a day. We do everything any other couple would do.

Ask any questions you want or feel free to PM me.

Don't worry everything will be just fine. :-)

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Hi, some studies show that Lysine reduces the occurrence, severity & speeds up healing time for HSV2. There are several people on here that take it as well. Although just like anything else, it doesn't work for everyone. I tried it & it worked for me so I continued & haven't had any issues with outbreaks at all. I take the Nature Made brand. 1000mg a day.

Oral sex: uhhhh yeah! All the time Lol -HSV2 does not like the mouth area. Only 1-2% of all oral herpes is HSV2. There are many statistics to prove that. Of course you would not have oral sex if there are any signs or symptoms of an outbreak but other than that -go for it! Adrial even has an interview on here with a top herpes researcher and he states that oral sex is absolutely fine. Listen, in life there are risks. For us, we love each other & this won't stop us from experiencing everything together. It's not that serious. You need to think about the reasons why this bothers you so much & get to the root of the issue -If you really like her. Ok?

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What about oral sex? Can that be done as well. ??


Do you know if she has HSV1 or 2?


HSV2 doesn't spread easily to the mouth (only 2% of all Oral Herpes is from HSV2)


If you already have cold sores/HSV1 oral (and you probably do - 80% of the population has it and 80% don't know they have it) then it won't matter either.


If she has HSV1 the risk is still small that you *might* get oral HSV1 from her (probably in the 1% risk as long as you don't do anything if she has an OB)

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Can I ask a stupid question?


If your partner has oral HSV1, and you have GHSV1, and they perform oral sex on you....say they normally get oral sores on their lip....can they get herpes on their cheek so to speak if they give you oral sex and there is some rubbing there? Can it be spread to another area? Just wondering....

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