Im awake, now I have H2 again

[seeker]

UG, its the one week "anniversary" of my diagnosis. Ive beat myself up, thought about dying, figured my life was over, been unable to eat as much, have been less interested in well anything and obsessing about this thing. Im tired, depressed, angry and confused. I haven't figured out who in my own life I may disclose to just to talk about it. My sleep has gotten better somewhat ( yay melatonin). however, the first thing that pops into my mind when I wake 9 which is usually before the alarm goes off) is, "God, I cant believe I have herpes, why me? did I spread it in my sleep by scratching something?" It sucks. mornings are the worst and I have very little idea what composes an OB and shedding and if I can auto inoc anytime or only during an outbreak. If im not having an OB and im itchy down in the area and I scratch am I going to spread it? or does that only happen like a "regular" spreading of the virus, ie from an open wound? I just wish right now my stomach would stop feeling like I was punched.

[mr_hopp]

I'm glad you're getting clarification on this, because I certainly don't want you to waste valuable energy worrying about something you don't need to worry about. I'm sure you have much better things to focus on than a skin rash. :)

 

Your body builds up natural antibodies to protect against autoinoculation due to the small amounts of virus that's shed during viral shedding, so you don't have to worry about that. And as for active outbreaks, it's pretty hard overall to autoinoculate. Except for the eyes, since they're mucous membranes. If you touch an open sore and then touch your eye, you could get ocular herpes, but no need to worry about that since after touching an active outbreak, just wash your hands with soap. Soap kills any virus that might be on your hands.

 

I'm sorry you've been suffering. Just remember that the majority of suffering happens in our heads! The herpes may be the instigator, but the thoughts that show up over and over again are the things you have control over. Super important that you start recognizing this more and more to put your mind at ease. Don't give herpes so much power! Before you know it, herpes will be relegated to the spot it deserves: occasional annoying skin rash. Nothing more. :)

[seeker]

thanks Adrial. its just all so new and being a parent with that protect my kid at all cost thing kicking in..........

 

inka, I have had depression before, even took meds for it. haven't been for a while but this thing has made me think about it again cause its gotten me down in the dumps pretty bad and not that any time is a good time for this diagnosis but I got mine during a introspective/retrospective bought to boot. im almost 50, where am I going in life? how did I get here? what legacy will I leave my son? who is now old enough to not want to always come see me or if he does he want to go hang with his friends instead......

[WCSDancer2010]

@inka -

 

People with depression, anxiety, ocd, and hypochondria often do seem to spiral further with Herpes and then Herpes can become the "reason" for everything that goes wrong in their life. However, those with those issues can also use Herpes to help them to notice when their issue is running their life ... but they have to be raised to an awareness of that and then work on it ;)