Awkward sauce.... This is like H Melodrama

[smilesfordani]

So I recently got a new roomate and as soon as we started living together she started seeing this guy that she quickly fell head over heels over. He seems like a good guy and that he really cares about her.

 

Welp -- long story short, I found him on PS the other day with admitted HSV2. I don't think he's been active on the site lately but I recognized him immediately. Anyhow, what I'm worried about is that I don't know if my roomate knows. I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that he disclosed and she's just super cool with it, but I'm not sure anymore. She doesn't sleep around much and they started sleeping together within a week of dating and a little while ago she made a really ignorant comment about STIs when I was talking about this guy that had stripper-like photos on facebook and was trying to talk to me. She said something to the extent of "yeah. he definitely looks like he has an STD." I looked at her kinda funny and then it registered that -- shoot, maybe she doesn't know her boyfriend has HSV2.

 

Anyway, she has no idea about the fact that I have it. I would feel okay discussing it with her I think cause she's one of the least judgmental people I know, but is it really in my territory to ask her "Do you know that your boyfriend has it too?" I don't want her to be mad for me "creeping" or "accusing" of something that's none of my business. At the same time, I think it would be extremely shitty if he's dating her and is so SERIOUS about her and somehow has avoided telling her thus far.

 

Thoughts?

[WCSDancer2010]

Hmmm - definitely a sticky wicket :/

 

Hows about telling her you have it, and that by getting it you learned that when people have STD tests, they don't get tested for H ... and does she know for SURE that she AND her BF have been tested? Show her the handouts... and tell her that we recommend here that people SEE the other person's STD tests?

 

The other option is to tell her your status, and that you have been on a H site and seen a guy that looks just like him. She may ask to see it and that would give her the reason to approach him assuming he hasn't told her...

 

Either way, it keeps you out of the middle - just try to approach it more as an educational conversation ... that many people don't know they can pass it on asymptomatically ... etc...

[smilesfordani]

Thank you!!! So I think at this point she knows... She spends basically every night there and I'm sure he's taking some type of antiviral so she has to be aware. I haven't told her about my status.... I still find it hard to tell friends...

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm sure he's taking some type of antiviral so she has to be aware.

 

Why do you think he's taking an anti-viral? Why would you think she's aware? Ya lost me there! :/

[PositivelyBeautiful]

If she knows and she has accepted him, she definitely will be supportive of your admission as well. If she doesn't know and you bring it up, she might be very grateful. Dancer made a few suggestions to at least start the discussion... but ultimately, if you were in her shoes, would you want to be told? Also, have you considered that she might have HSV too? Sometimes the stigma can get the best of us, so try not to assume anything based on comments or actions. Hope this helps and that you do what you feel is right.