Just need some advice!

[littleflower]

I have been diagnosed now for four days, but have actually had it for two years without knowing. I've never had an OB and showed zero sign of anything, but now that I have been diagnosed, I'm totally freaked. I'm 19 and my ex boyfriend from high school was a hockey player that would come back every year and would date me through the season. Little dumb and naive girl I was. He called me the other day to tell me. I'm just completely devastated. It's SO comforting to find this here.

 

But what I am scared of is now that I know I have it, I FEEEEL like I have it. I feel something starting on my lip. Down there is constantly feeling weird. I feel like I'm giving myself symptoms. I'm just so terrified. Last week before I had any idea about this I slept with someone and we used a condom but the whole oral sex thing freaks me out. AH. I am just really paranoid. about everything. Could my stress give me an OB?

[myfiercecalm]

Hi there! I am 4 months into this myself, so I know how you're feeling, I was there not so long ago.

 

First, I want you stop reading this and click this video right now:

 

The Herpes Facts video is a great intro/overview and also quite inspiring I thought. Please watch it, or at least watch it from 5:37 in. That part made me feel like I wasn't alone for the first time since I found out.

 

After that, I watched this one for more hard facts. Some of that is a little dated now as it is over a year old, but still a lot of good tips/info.

 

Finally, watch what happens when Cicily comes out of the closet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMiC6shObs8

 

Now, hopefully that cheered you up a bit :) I would have liked to have seen those when I was 4 days in.

 

One blessing here is that your ex told you about it. Regardless of how it happened, you have been symptom-free so far, so if he hadn't told you, you would have no idea still. Knowing really is half the battle.

 

Yes, stress absolutely can cause an outbreak, and if you're like I was, you're going crazy with irrational thoughts at this early stage. We all go through it when we find out. Put your mind at ease anyway you can. Meditate, watch a funny movie, be with your friends. Distract yourself and realize the world isn't ending, in fact, you are about to learn how to live a more fulfilling life and become a stronger person because of this.

 

Now, do you know if it is HSV1 or HSV2 yet? They are different, HSV1 is more common orally and HSV2 is more common genitally; however, either can be oral or genital.

[WCSDancer2010]

 

@littleflower

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

Yeah - you are 19 and that was your first "life lesson" ... we've all been there! Some life lessons have bigger consequences than others ... and in all reality, this one is not half as big as your mind is likely making it out to be. At least he contacted you and told you ... you could have gone MUCH longer and not known and passed it on yourself to others. So be thankful that he at least had the decency to let you know ;)

 

I got H at 17ish from my first sexual experience ... so I totally get the naive thing.

 

Yeah - you are overthinking everything ... just like when you pull a tick off a dog you fell the buggers crawling all over you, same goes for your reaction to your diagnosis. Yes - you want to be conscious of your body (it's possible you've had prodromes and not known it) but you need to be sensible about it too. And yes, stress could bring on an OB ... so *try* to not let this get the best of you.

 

So - do you know if you have HSV1 or 2? If you have HSV2, your risks for the oral are minimal - only 1% of all oral Herpes is from HSV2. It just plain doesn't like it there. HSV1 genital doesn't like it much there either so it sheds less. Knowing which one you have helps with disclosure and protecting your future partners.

 

You will still need to let the guy know because the condom would only give him 50% protection ... but first let us know which one you have so we can help you with how you should approach telling him.

 

Bottom line is, Herpes is a nuisance skin condition in a really inconvenient place. That's all. True, some people have really tough OB's.... it can be an inconvenience when you want sex (but it forces you to learn other ways to be intimate) and there *is* the stigma issue (but most of that is in your head).

 

Check these links out - they will help you to learn more about H and how it's just something to be managed, but not feared ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3296/this-is-water-this-is-water- Choice

 

Herpes facts video

[littleflower]

@w

Thank you. Thanks for making me feel a bit better. I've been having anxiety attacks all day and i keep checking back on here and reading more and more and it puts me at ease. I went back to the clinic today to speak with another doctor and he also asked which one I had, and I didn't know. On my file it says they didn't identify it, so he sent me back to get more results to see if it was 1 or 2. He also was fairly upset that the doctor previous to him didn't try and figure this out for me.

[WCSDancer2010]

Glad you got a Dr that has a little more compassion. BTW, PCP/GP/Clinic/ER Dr's are usually not great at dealing with H .... so once you get through this I'd get an appointment with a OBGYN for all your lady-parts issues from now on. Or Planned Parenthood if you are on a budget as they will often do sliding scale and they deal with this stuff all the time ;)

 

Keep coming here ... you will soon realize we are not lepers ... we are good people that just happen to be carrying a virus in our body that happen to be AWARE of it ... that 80% of the carriers out there are unwittingly passing it on (as you were one of them for 2 yrs) .

 

(((HUGS)))