Just some questions.

[Reachout2014]

Hey all,

23 year old female here. A little over two months in to ghsv2 status. Some of you may know me as queen paranoa :-) though I think I'm getting better every day! Yay for that! I'll try to keep my post short and concise.

 

1. I'm taking Valtrex for suppressive therapy because it eases my mind a bit. I've heard a lot of good things about l-lysine. Can I take both? Is it worthwhile?

2. Is oral sex pretty much out of the question for me from here on out? I think plastic wrapping my vag (female condom would take away from things and make me feel like a germ). But I haven't made a partner go down on me pre herpes anyway. I know HSV 2 rarely sits in the mouth but eh, what do you all do? I'm currently single but want to know as much as I can.

3. I have a second date tonight with a guy I like. I'm obviously in no rush about anything but I almost like to just lay the card on the table earlier than later. But I notice when I relay facts it sounds not scary but sometimes I do fall into the yuck of "this virus is going to ruin me in and out of the bedroom". The more I talk about it the lesser it makes it feel. Anyway is it wrong to just disclose early to weed the gents out? I'll be honest it is nerve racking as it would be my first face to face disclosure with a guy. The other two I told over the phone and they are good friends that live out of state. Who knows how this will go? Wish me luck. I've got w decent head on my shoulders and if rejected I'm sure I can handle it. I'll probsbly feel bad but i know it won't be the end of the world.

 

 

Any encouragement would be highly appreciated.

Thanks friends!

[Reachout2014]

Sorry about the typos and several bouts of bad grammar.

[WCSDancer2010]

1)Yes you can take L Lysine with the anti-virals :)

 

2) Yes you can have all the Oral Sex you want ... H2 really really dislikes the mouth ... only 1% of all oral HSV is H2 .... Dr Peter Leone talks about it in this Youtube vid with Adrial :)

 

 

The Female Condom is a good idea for regular sex though if you like it as it actually covers more area than a regular condom and it doesn't reduce sensation for either party :)

 

3) There is no "right" time to disclose.... we have a number of conversations/blogs about the subject though that may help you to figure out what is right for YOU :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/when-should-i-disclose/

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/disclosure-its-not-just-about-herpes/

 

 

When to have the H talk Adrial

 

[WCSDancer2010]

About the typos - there is an edit button to the right of your name on all your posts so you can go in and correct any spelling errors... I use it all the time :)

[FF1]

 

When it comes to disclosure, I think the longer you can wait, the better. Here's why:

 

When you wait as long as possible, your partner has had a lot of time to get to know the person you are. They develop an attachment to you which is emotional and not just physical. So, when you finally disclose, there is a lot more for them to consider other than you're being H+

[WCSDancer2010]

True @FF1 .... but we have had some on here do that and then the other person feels that they were betrayed by not being told earlier ..... which is why I say that you have to do it when it works for you and each situation.

 

I'm 100% "out" and it certainly hasn't stopped guys from contacting me ... so having the emotional attachment isn't necessary *if* they see something in you that they value and want to get to know better.

 

And given your particular situation, I know you think it may have made a difference if you had waited longer but somehow I'm not convinced that she wouldn't have acted that way no matter what.

 

Every situation is different... every "pairing" is different ... so we just have to do the best we can to create an environment where the other person can at least take the information in and consider whether they are ok with it or not.