Dream..

[Cali]

I only disclosed to my best friend the day I was diagnosed. But this guy I've been on again off again for years with is still around and before I mentioned he asks why won't I let him touch me... For one I'm not ready to disclose to him. &2, he's not someone I can see myself in a long term relationship with; I felt that way before H. In my dream he went to my dad to ask him why wasn't I giving him a chance, he dropped a few tears and in my dream I felt soo bad. He said that how could I love someone so much and she not want to be with me. Okay, now in reality that is something he has actually said to me. But I'm ready to end everything we have. Should I disclose to him and then go on to say that I don't see a future that's why I didn't tell him earlier or should I just stop talking and leave him wondering what happened..

[PositivelyBeautiful]

I agree with Inka... Why disclose if you have no intention of being with him? What purpose does that serve? If you know the reason, and you care about him as a friend, polite honesty might give him some closure. I think it's important to just be honest in the most compassionate way possible. Just tell him you don't see a future with him, or better yet, ask yourself if the tables were turned, how would you like someone else to handle it?

[Cali]

If I'm not mistaken I spoke of him in a different discussion. He's more than a friend but that's the title we claim to each other, if someone else asked who knows what he would say because we've talked about being together and finally I made up in my mind that I don't want to be with him. It has nothing to do with being untrustworthy or betrayal or anything that would make me not want to be his friend. The relationship we share is why we can't JUST BE FRIENDS.. He's asked me before I was diagnosed did I have something and if that was why I wouldn't sleep with him and I didn't have a reason. Now I have H and I was torn between telling him because he has been a friend that always listens and that I trust and love or don't tell him because even though he wants to be with me I don't want to be with him but he's still been a genuine friend. Like a husband your best friend and lover.. Do you guys get it? You would have to be there first hand to understand. Disclosing to him is like me disclosing to my best friend which I did. But I also use to sleep with him and Never slept with my best friend. Talked about being together things I didn't talk about with my best friend.. But I can't make you guys understand. He's a good friend, but I don't want to be with him for other reasons. So because I don't want to be with him I shouldn't disclose because we can't just be friends because of the relationship we've shared?

[Cali]

Yeaa thanks!

[WCSDancer2010]

I agree with @inka - only you will know it it's the right thing. If it is, tell him that you only just found out, but either way, you just don't see yourself with him in *that* way and you would rather he stay as your friend ....

 

Speak from your heart friend.... hopefully he will be able to understand. ;)