My New Girlfriend Gave Me Herpes - What Should I Do?

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I've known my knew girlfriend for months but had sex with her for the first time recently. After a few days, she had a cold sore - she then told me she had herpes, bought some cold sore covers, told me I'd be fine and carried on kissing me. I knew little about herpes and I trusted her. I now have herpes and have been ill. I'm annoyed that she didn't tell me about it and that she gave me herpes - should I forgive her?

[MMissouri]

Are you sure it's herpes? Have you been to a doctor?

 

 

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Yes, I have HSV 1.

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I live in London and have diabetes. My new GF knew about my diabetes but I knew nothing about her herpes.

[MMissouri]

My situation is a little similar to yours. I didn't know my partner at the time had HSV1 until months into our relationship when he had an outbreak.

 

If you took the herpes out of the relationship, how is it? What are your feelings for her? It sounds as if you've been together for awhile. Is there a future there? I would hope that you could forgive her eventually, especially if you are still together.

 

Have you read the E book or handout?

[MMissouri]

Can I ask how old you are?

 

Diabetes is a little different than herpes. (It's not contagious, there is no shame associated with it, etc.)

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I'm 55 and not in great health. To be honest I had enough going badly medically without getting HSV1. My feelings are clouded at the moment, I don't understand why she did no tell me about her HSV1. I would not have judged her, I would just have been more careful.

 

I have read the guides thanks.

[MMissouri]

I can understand that. Have you spoken to the doctors about what you can expect now that you have HSV1? I think that it can cause your numbers to raise during outbreaks.

 

I'm hoping that someone familiar with giving support steps up soon. I'm new at this (sorry). My only advice is to get as much information as you can, and speak to your girlfriend also. Only she can answer the questions you have as far as why she didn't tell you.

[WCSDancer2010]

First - Welcome :)

 

So do you have it orally or genitally?

 

If it's oral, odds are you have kissed MANY gals with it ... sadly she probably was misinformed about how it passes on (many Dr's give out really poor/incorrect info) ...

 

Even if it's genital, you likely have had blow jobs from other gals with it. 80% of the population has Oral HSV1 ... and 80% don't know it... the other 20% are often misinformed about the possibility of passing it to the genitals or even the mouth. We are in dire need of a good Herpes educational program in BOTH countries :(

 

I'm guessing she believed the covers would protect you ... but you may already have got it anyhow around the time that the cold sore came up so it may have been too late.

 

Herpes is a slippery devil and both of our countries are doing a shitty job of trying to control it :(

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I have it orally. From the comments made by my GF afterwards I think she knew she was putting me at risk which seems very reckless behaviour to me.

 

I agree about the education, or lack of it :(

[WCSDancer2010]

ok - well, odds are that it should settle down and hopefully you will just have to deal with an occasional OB here and there. Be careful of sun and stress... herpes LOVES both. I have an Oral OB right now - it's just mostly a nuisance for me now but I've had it since I was 4.

 

As for how to deal with the GF - if you feel trust has been irreparably broken, then that is your answer. Don't stay with her just because you now get "cold sores". Like I said, 80% of the population has it so you are now with the majority so it shouldn't affect your love life much ... just be careful about kissing and oral sex if you think you have an OB coming on.

 

http://herpeslife.com/disclosing-cold-sores-oral-herpes-hsv-1-to-potential-partners-before-kissing/

http://herpeslife.com/hsv-1-hsv-2-types-of-herpes/

 

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Thanks for the advice - I really appreciate it :)