Lost and confused

[Tayler]

I'm twenty years old and I just found out on Monday that I have herpes. As soon as I heard those words my heart dropped to my stomach and I felt like I was about to vomit. The doctor sent in swabs for testing just to be sure, but she said she's almost positive that that's what it is. I couldn't hide it from my boyfriend as I felt terrible about it, so I told him everything. He told me that he is going to be there by my side no matter what. But I'm afraid that the test result will come back positive and he'll end up freaking out and leaving. I feel disgusting, guilty, unwanted, I feel as if no one will ever be able to love me now because of this.

Maybe all of these feelings are just something that initially comes along with the news and will eventually fade, but I'm still so scared. I feel alone and I feel as if I have no one to talk to that is going through the same thing as I am, which is why I'm here. I need some advice and guidance from those who have/are going through this as well.

I have a few unanswered questions about herpes that my doctor left me with and I have no one else to ask as my gynecologist office is closed due to a winter storm where I live. So I'm left here to ponder all of these questions running through my mind.

Also, my gynecologist prescribed me Valacyclovir (Valtrex) and I have a couple questions about it. So if anyone knows anything about that, please respond.

Any help, advice, guidance, or just a friend who understands what I'm going through would be helpful at this point. And I'm so thankful that I came across this website.

[ihaveittoo]

Hello @Tayler,

 

I too was diagnosed at age 20, I'm now 47 pushing 48 real hard. This site is the best place you can come for support and education.

 

What you are feeling now is normal. In time it will pass. Read all you can in this forum. You will find many common threads in everyones experiences. Learn all you can about the virus. In time you will learn how it effects you personally, in a physical sense. The Valtrex should help shorten the duration of an outbreak. I used Acyclovir back in the day and I found it to be very effective.

 

Everything will be ok. At 20 your life is just beginning and herpes is not going change that unless you allow it too. I eventually married and we have two daughters, herpes didn't prevent that.

 

Anyways welcome and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

[Who]

Don't ever feel unwanted, or disgusting. I know it's difficult but al of us here know single handedly what you're going through. It seems like a never ending black hole but eventually you will feel better and come to terms with the condition. All of us here are not disgusting or dirty, we are a group of people who unfortunately have come to a bump in the road. It's just a skin condition and as time goes by you will realize that. There's nothing any of us can do to change the reality of it so you have to make the best of your situation. You are still the same great person you were before.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Tayler

 

Hello and Welcome!

 

First, you are going through what many many newly diagnosed go through. Our society has allowed Herpes to develop an undeserved stigma thanks to the fact that the CDC is doing nothing to educate the public. So know that you have a CHOICE to buy into the stigma, or to see this as a skin condition in a really inconvenient place. ;)

 

As for your boyfriend, there is a very, VERY good chance you got it from him. If its HSV1, you likely got it from oral sex... does he have/has he had cold sores? Because that is HSV1 on the mouth and it is responsible for 50% of all the new Genital cases nowadays. If it's HSV2, he needs to be blood tested ... if you are tested now and you just got it from him, odds are that you will show H- in a blood test (the swab should hopefully tell you which one you have) but HE should show up H+ . Its a VERY common scenario because 80% of people with H have no idea they carry herpes.

 

You are FAR from alone. Hang here and get your questions answered ... rant if you need to and support when you can. In the meantime, read the following links (and print them out for your BF) which will help you to understand what you are dealing with a bit more.

 

Handouts + disclosure e-book:

http://eepurl.com/b4IPP

 

Herpes facts video