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Overwhelmed and confused

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I went in to the doctor last Friday with pain that was completely foreign to me. She then told me she was 90% sure it was herpes. Uh, what?!? No way!! Spent all weekend freaking out and last night got word that my blood test was negative. However my Dr. is still convinced this is still the diagnosis. She is saying that I was exposed so recently that it could be a false negative.


What next? Do I talk to my partner? How does that look? We have only been together 5 months and I don't know if I should be mad at him or ....omg just so confused.



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Hi Bubblessf!


Yes, this whole herpes testing thing can certainly be confusing. By what you've said so far, it sounds like this is a classic case of a recent exposure to herpes.


If you're still having symptoms, super important to get it swabbed. That's the best way to get an accurate diagnosis.


If there are no longer symptoms, then a blood test will only be accurate at least 3-4 months after being exposed to herpes. That's because it takes that long for antibodies to build in your bloodstream to be detectable by a blood test. And all of this also depends on the type of blood test you got. All herpes blood tests are not the same! Some are outright horrible.


Here's a link that goes into more detail:



And if you do have herpes, we're all here for you if you need to understand it more and process through whatever comes up for you. It can be rough, but we can help you with a smooth landing. :)


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  • This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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I'll pick up on the second part of your post.


Yes - you should talk to your partner. Seeing as you are likely recently exposed (ie, your test is H-) if you got Herpes from him his blood test should come up positive given you have been together 5 months. That might help you to get an answer a bit faster.


Now, it's very possible he doesn't know he has it. 80% of carriers don't know they have it because even if they were tested for STD's they usually don't test for H unless you specifically ask for it. :( Also, does he have cold sores? If so, it's very possible you got HSV1 genitally from oral sex ... again, many don't know they can pass it on that way. So you really need to talk to him. Download the handouts on here and let him know that you realize he may well not know ... and if necessary, take him to your Dr with you for an explanation of how Herpes works or show him the video (below)


Handouts + disclosure e-book:



However this works out, you will be fine (take it from a 35 yr veteran!) ... and we will be here to help to support you through the process of getting a definite answer :)




Herpes facts video
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