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Time between first herpes outbreak and next sexual activity

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Hey everyone,


I'm brand new to this site and new to herpes as well. I just found out about two weeks ago and I have had a very rough time getting used to even the idea of having herpes for the rest of my life, let alone all the things that may come with it now and in the future. I have a lot of general questions, and many of them have to do with sex from now on. Surprise surprise! :-P


I've basically developed a fear of my own body. I feel as though I've been trapped and restricted by it because of my contraction of herpes. I'm very paranoid about auto innoculation even though I have been made aware that I'm taking the necessary preventative measures. How soon after an initial outbreak can I begin to try being sexually active again, or even masturbating? If sex and masturbation turn out to be a trigger for outbreaks for me, will a second outbreak within my first three months cause the virus to be worse than it might already be? Because I realize that it takes time for the antibodies to develop in the body, so I don't want to do anything while that is happening to worsen the condition or symptoms.


I'm also curious about suppressive meds. My doctor was very optimistic and told me that my initial outbreak was very mild. After reading some stories of others experiencing unbearable pain I am grateful for that! But when she was talking about medication, she prescribed acyclovir for ten days and just told me that we would discuss suppressive medication if I have more than 6 outbreaks a year. But it seems that many of you are on suppressive meds in order to lower transmission rates/risk. Is this something I need to do if I plan on being sexually active or is it only necessary if I do experience more frequent outbreaks? If it's something I should do no matter how often I have outbreaks, then when would I be able to start those meds? Immediately? (Note that I have yet to get blood testing done because I had only been a couple weeks)


Thanks so much to anyone who can help give me some insight to these issues! I have already greatly benefitted from this site and all of your stories and advice!

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Hello and Welcome!


Your fear of the body is perfectly normal while you learn what YOUR prodromes and outbreaks look like, and while you learn how to control the virus and protect your partners. ;)


The first year is the most "difficult" simply because of the above and the fact that while you are building antibodies, you will be at a higher risk of transmitting the virus and having OB's when you are under stress. Once the body has it under control, things will get better.


When to be sexually active? Well, your body may be in charge of that for awhile... for some, sex triggers OB's until things settle down. You are less likely to trigger an OB with masturbation unless your OB is right in that area...its the friction that sets it off.


Supressive meds can help a lot ... but they don't work for everyone. You will only know when you try them. I personally suggest them for new relationships simply because it takes a lot of the pressure off of you ... you don't want to be constantly worrying about having an OB during the beginning of a relationship. Whether you stay on them is between you and your partner. ;)


Yes the meds *can* affect testing so you may want to go off them at least a few weeks before testing - consult with your Dr about that when the time comes.


You will be fine ... I've had it 35 yrs, had 2 beautiful daughters, marriage, divorce (non-h related) and 3 relationships since with H- men. Read all the Success Stories that you can to help you to see how things CAN be ....



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Autoinoculation is more likely during the first few months until your body has enough antibodies. Over time, the fear goes away. I've known for almost 2 months now and don't really worry too much anymore. I do bite my fingernails, so I haven't used my bare fingers to masturbate just in case I've bitten one too low. Even just a piece of folded tissue between your skin and fingers may help ease your fear (assuming you're a girl - otherwise that may not work lol).


Really you only need suppressive therapy if you have bad/frequent OBs or if your partner is negative. Personally, I don't do it because my boyfriend is positive and Aciclovir makes my hair (eyebrows and eyelashes at least) fall out a little. Plus, it's not really the best thing for your body. However, it is a personal decision that only you can make.


Episodically, you should start meds as soon as you feel a prodrome, which will take time for you to learn.

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I still masturbate and haven't had any problems. I just wash my hands immediately after because I too am still very paranoid lol. I haven't had sex since my exposure, I'm scared it will trigger another ob. I have been lucky to not really have experienced anymore issues in the genital area since treatment and since you're taking the right steps, you should be fine as well.

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A bit different since I'm a guy, but my only ob after the initial one was when I had sex (twice within a few hours). It was quite demoralising as I thought I was doomed to a life without sex. Hopefully, and most likely, once I have given the body a chance to adapt to the virus it will be a non issue.


My advice to you is to not rush getting back into the hay, as frustrating as it may be.

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