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I'm currently going through my 4th or 5th outbreak ever, but this is the worst since my initial OB. I'm a student and haven't been to class in 2 days, I've missed a test and my school has a very strict policy about rewrites, requiring doctors notes etc.. This puts me in a tough spot especially since we're nearing the holidays and getting in to see a doctor at this point is extremely difficult.


I'm feeling like my body has turned against me. I'm moody and I'm beginning to believe that I may even be slipping into a depression.. My partner (who gave me HSV through oral sex) doesn't seem to understand and blames me for my bad moods. He says he loves me but doesn't seem empathetic toward me.. I would really love to speak to someone who understands my frustration... or at the very least sympathizes.


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Hey Fairisle,


I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I luckily have not had to miss any of my obligations because of an outbreak, but then again I have only had one. I can, though, empathize with your feelings of depression. It's natural for a person who is under as much stress as you are to continue building on those negative feelings. I do it all the time too. We can't expect others to know what we are going through unless we are open with them about it. I would suggest taking some time to sort through your emotions and really get a good idea of where they are coming from. Does it all stem from the physical discomfort of your outbreak, or maybe you're mostly stressing out about school and missing days. If your ultimate stressor is your relationship, I recommend expressing those worries with your partner. Just be sure to approach it without blaming your feelings on him. Use the conversation as an opportunity to better explain where you are emotionally and let him know that you need his support. Maybe you could come up with a couple examples of how he can help in case his response is something along the lines of "I don't know how else to support you". Hopefully you can both come to some sort of compromise and if not, at least you will have that opportunity to get all of your thoughts and feelings out.


As far as slipping into a depression, I feel you there! My situation is very different than yours but I also find myself questioning my mental state when I'm over thinking my life and how it has now changed because of hsv. I have been considering using St. John's Wort. Apparently it has been found to be useful in treating depression short term. It also has antiviral qualities so it could help to hold outbreaks at bay during stressful times (recommended to use it for 6 months at a time). It does have some negative interactions with other medications tho, so if you do want to try it out, do your research first! Maybe some others here have used it or know more about it.


Hopefully this helps a bit! Feel free to directly message me, too if you just want someone to chat with. :) good luck with school and all of this!

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Hello and Welcome!


This is a tough time of year no matter how you look at it - it's dark and cold and there are all kinds of stresses. When I struggle around this time of year I remind myself that things start to get brighter after the 21st (only a few days away!) ... that often helps me at least a bit.


Your partner can't understand the pain of an OB down there ... but perhaps you can try to explain it like this "Imagine an open blister inside your pee-hole .. every time you pee, or it rubs your underwear, it hurts.... a LOT. Sometimes the stuff dries on your underwear so when you move it rips it off the fabric. This is what I'm experiencing right now... and that's why I'm a little bit cranky at times."


Now, one thing Herpes does is to help you see a person for who they are ... so he may just plain not be good at supporting his partner when things are rough ... it's up to you to "make note" of this ... if it seems to be the way he is, you have to choose if this is something you are ok living with...


What are you doing to help to control the OB's???

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Firstly, thank you both for your responses!


@malicepalace - thank you for your words of wisdom!


@WCSDancer2010 - my outbreaks aren't usually very intense, they generally consist of a single bump or just swelling and mild flu like symptoms.. I take my vitamins and live a generally healthy lifestyle (aside from my pizza addiction:)) I'm not on suppressive anti-virals as I react badly to them (exhaustion, hair loss etc) but I have taken them when I've felt an OB coming on in the past. My medicine cabinet was all out of acyclovir and/or valtrex this time around though. :(

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I'd get your script re-filled ... it's useful to pop a couple pills as soon as the OB starts .. for *me* they usually knock it right back,,,


But if you also attack it from the outside you can send it packing even faster...try some of the things at the links below ... esp the Epsom Salts baths and keeping the area REALLY dry ;)








Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://tinyurl.com/pmosahc Link to Alum




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I haven't tried Abreva but I've used the Oragel Single dose (it works really well but it's expensive) and recently found out Bactine has the exact same ingredients at the same strength...tried it on my lip recently and I think it helped.... I don't see why you shouldn't put abreva down below. I think the reason they don't advertise it for that is that people wouldn't want it in their cart if people *might* think it was for genital herpes (thanks to the stigma :( )

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Ugh I can not stand the stigma surrounding such a common virus.. I remember the first time I had to go to the drugstore to get something to alleviate some of my external symptoms (itching etc) and I asked the pharmacist if they had anything for genital herpes and asked her what she recommends. She responded by saying they only have medication and treatments for oral "cold sores" and that I would have to consult my physician.. Which I had already done and was already taking acyclovir and just wanted something to help the itch and treat my open wounds.. I didn't bother explaining this to the pharmacist and ended up leaving the drugstore baffled and confused by the fact that the drugstore apparently had nothing to help people with genital herpes. @wcsdancer2010

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@fairisle I'm completely with you. I was diagnosed about 8 months ago and I was okay with it at first, but lately i'm always depressed about it. It's hard to talk to someone who can't relate, I have been sad a lot in my life but this is something totally different. Feeling out of control of my body is so overwhelming. I don't know when I will ever get used to it, I feel like a different person. It all still doesn't feel real.


I hope it passes, and I know it technically will. But know youre not alone, I have to remind myself of it all the time. As said above, maybe it is the time of year and the weather. I just had finals and the stress of school was a lot on my body. It worries me for when I start full time school in a year. But if it helps, just know I feel exactly the way you do!

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@ann122 thanks girl, I think we're in the same boat.. I've been living with hsv for a little over a year and it's getting a little easier. This forum is helping loads and I'm glad I found it! Everyone on here is so compassionate and it makes me feel more connected, which is something I haven't really felt in a long time, probably due to feeling like I was keeping a secret from the world. (my hsv)


Stress during exams is really tough, this is what I believe brought about my most recent ob , which I'm still currently dealing with.


Key is to pamper yourself! Warm sitz bath and a tea works for me (even though I've read that ppl with hsv should avoid caffeine) :P

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green tea is my addiction so I hope thats not true haha. Not too much caffeine in that anyway, just antioxidants! The weight of that secret is hard though. I talk to my sister about it when it gets to be too much and she listens but I dont know, I feel like its something you can't really relate to unless it happens. Something so permanent like this can't be described easily. Talking does help, glad this forum is helping you!

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Haha tea is amazing! The caffeine is minimal even in black tea, I think it's like 3 cups to 1 cup of coffee maybe even less.


It's great that you have family to talk it out with, I've yet to tell my brother . I've told my mom just the other day and she seemed to take it well and was very motherly about the whole thing, there's a part of me that's afraid that she will treat me like I'm diseased when we stay in the same house though. I hope my fear doesn't turn out to be true..

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Eliminating as much stress from your life as you possibly can does wonders. I was a letter carrier for 16 years. I worked on the hottest day of the year and the coldest day of the year. Worked countless hours of overtime. Physically the job took its toll. Halfway thru those 16 years a new postmaster came to town. Thats when the mental stress began. He used what I call the "shit floats" criteria in choosing and promoting supervisors and managers. If you were a piece of shit craft employee under him you floated up into management. If you couldn't actually do your job, hey, supervise everybody else, yeah thats the ticket.


Six years ago I finally had enough and got myself transfered out to an inside job. Now I only have to walk thru the parking lot. One of the amazing byproducts of this is that I hardly ever have any outbreaks anymore. I also began eating better. I used to guzzle coca cola like it was going out of style. Now my preferred drink is water with a touch of lemon juice. I have found that a good diet and keeping stress to as bare a minimum as possible goes a long way to keeping herpes way in the background.

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Stress! My BIGGEST trigger, unfortunately for me life is filled with stressors.. boo


Well, as @ihaveittoo showed, eliminating stress is HUGE.... but also, HOW you deal with stress is huge too .... so much of the time we allow "the small stuff" to get to us (and most stuff really, really IS small stuff!)......


One of my all time favorite links is below - because when I finally "got" how we as humans are attached to EVERYTHING (how things *should* be, how someone *should* act, control, looks, etc) and how miserable that makes us, my life got a WHOLE lot better.



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