22 and diagnosed

[Bluecrush264]

Hi. I recently got diagnosed with HSV 1 from someone who didn't tell me but I feel knew he had it. We had oral sex and I started getting symptoms a few days after. I had no idea what was going on with my body I didn't think it was an std because i didn't know you could contract it orally. My gyno told me and I was devasted. My partner was very supportive at the time telling me it was "only something I had to deal with from time to time, etc" he also didn't ask any questions or bother to get tested. I should've known right then and there but was so taken with him and his support I thought we would be together for a while and I wouldn't have to worry. He screwed me over and I've been having a hard time dealing. I also have found out he has been sleeping with other women. I can't fathom how someone could do this especially knowing he has this and how devasted I was. I even texted him

Saying that he handled the whole situation horribly and could've been more supportive. He never responded and wants nothing to do with me. I just graduated from college and have many opportunities ahead of me but I can't even get out of bed or keep a normal routine. I am completely devastated and heartbroken and fear I will never overcome this. Does anyone have any advice. I don't want this to destroy me anymore then it already has. I have turned to some friends but no one really understands. A girlfriend of mine has it and gave it to her boyfriend but she has disclosed to me that he only decided to be with her because she infected him. I do not want that life. If anyone could offer any kind of insight that would be great.

 

Thank you

[ivoryrain]

He may have known he had oral HSV-1 but didn't disclose because he didn't know it could be transmitted from the mouth to genitals. It's just not a very well known fact. I have yet to tell someone about that who already knew that it was possible to contact HSV-1 genitally from oral sex. Frankly, there is almost no way to prove/know for sure if he knew, so there's no point in dwelling on it. Things will get easier with time. It's not the end of the world. My best suggestion is to read around on here, educate yourself, etc. It's a lot less scary when you know what H really is and isn't.

[VirusEnhanced]

Well it's not exactly the shiniest of silver linings... BUT... medical science speculates that upwards of 60%+ people will contract HSV1 by the time they hit their forties (If not sooner) 80% of those who have it don't know (either never having symptoms or not noticing what it was) So if you've gathered in those facts you'll realize you aren't alone and far from it. Or are you going to be stuck in a relationship with someone you do not entirely wish to be with on the soul purpose of keeping H+ with H+. Is it unfortunate to contract herpes? Yes. Is it the end of dating/world as we know it? No.

 

Somewhere along the path of humans STD's and abnormalities of the body suddenly became this unspoken subject and something that is bad, sin, social stigma. In reality it's something we have been dealing with as a species for many years if not entirely all along and only in the last hundred years did we have any sort of real understanding about the virus. Perhaps in a way it is true... Ignorance is bliss. Even now we have medications and topical remedies that ease and help with this condition when for so long humanity had to do what it does best, survive and endure.

 

I test positive for markers in my blood for HSV1 but have had no reported outbreak or shown any symptoms. But still I am an active carrier of the virus... how I contracted it I will never know. It isn't the end of the world... but in 'our little world' it does feel like the walls are caving in and the room flushing in with water. We just have to take a deep breath and push back against that water and walls and break free from that restraint break free from the self imposed anguish. Easier said than done... but once you say it, you have a plan.

 

Well wishes, Live long and prosper.

 

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Actually, 60% of young people have H1 orally by the time they are young adults (early 20's). 80% of the population will have it orallyMost people not only don't know they have the virus, even those who know don't know it can pass to the gentials ... which is the biggest reason that 50% of all new genital H cases are from HSV1.

 

Herpes is a great Wingman. You will find that you will quickly see which guys want to get into YOU as opposed to those who want to GET INTO you ... your guy sounds like the latter ... so you just got a great insight into who he REALLY is ... and while I'm sorry you got H as part of the process, you can also thank it for helping you to see that he isn't worthy of being with you ....

 

Check out all the Success Stories that you can ... we have tons of people on here who have told their stories of finding love with H ... and the underlying theme is that being vulnerable has created a deeper and more meaningful relationship for every one of them ;)

 

(((HUGS)))