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Still going crazy

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I now knew 1 month that i'm hsv2+, i had good days, but at the moment i really feel terrible. Not only that there is going to be always a possibility of spreading it and i cannot image myself leting someone take that risk, on the other hand the thought that nearly everything sexual in the future has to happen with precautions just turns me off, the thought of never getting a condomless blowjob, without putting someone into risk, again is driving me insane and make me really depressiv. I would probably enjoy it with a condom but it will be always in my head how good it is without :( really hardtimes accepting these things,

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Before you do anything else, get a HUG from someone you care about. Then spend some time reading up on herpes (there's a ton of resources linked in these forums) and shifting your perspective a bit -- this is a skin condition, not a death sentence.


You use the word "risk" a lot in your post. Here's a good read from the blog about the power of the words you use when you think/talk about having herpes: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-wordplay-the-power-of-words/


And here's a great piece from The Atlantic talking about the stigma of herpes: http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/07/the-overblown-stigma-of-genital-herpes/374757/


Things get better, not to mention easier, the longer you have herpes and the more in tune you become with your body's response. <3

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First - remember you have only had this for one month. I've had it for 35 yrs (49 yrs if you include the fact that i have oral HSV1 as well). You will likely live about 4000 weeks so 4 weeks is not even a drop in the bucket. As @HBased said, you need to get properly educated about the virus first and foremost.... because you are making assertions that are not very accurate.


For one, if you have HSV2, you CAN have oral sex... the H2 virus doesn't like the oral region ... only 1% of ALL oral herpes is HSV2 .... so as long as you are very careful about not having oral when you have an OB or when your partner has any sores or chapped lips/anything that leaves a crack/open area on the lips or in the mouth. I've received and given PLENTY of oral sex and not passed it on in either area.


And you can have plenty of regular sex too ... right now, you are learning how your body is dealing with the virus. Over time you will learn your triggers and prodromes and what works best to control the virus. Be patient with yourself and the process ....


I suggest you check out the links that @HBased posted ... as well as the following. Get educated. Learn how to read your body. Figure out your triggers. The more you understand about how to work WITH your body to control the virus, the better you will feel about living with it :)


Handouts + disclosure e-book:









Herpes facts video





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At least i have it for minimum 1 year, i had really mild symptoms so the doctors misdiagnosed often, i believe that i have it longer than a year. Bu that isn't so important how long or how i got it. A few month ago i start thinking it could be herpes and start to inform myself and i decided to do a blood test to be sure.

So i'm already a bit educated about it.

But the more i read, the more it scares me. I know there are only small transmissionrates, but the viral shedding freaks me out, the fact that you can never be sure, hard to deal with. At the moment i can't believe that somebody would take that chance of transmission ot that i could let somebody take it. That's so weird i don't want to miss out on uninhibited oralsex for example, but i don't want to pass this virus, i know it doesn't have to happen but only the small chance is to much for me, i think.

I'm also really afraid about if i could recognize prodome symptons because i had so mild symptoms i hardly noticed myself, what is when i'm wrong and putting someone at higher risk, or what if i really infect someone, i believe i couldn't handle that.

Since i have the results of the blood test, i have nearly everyday strange sentations in the area where use to be my symptons but everything looks normal, or not? I'm pretty unsure about this all.

And here in germany the doctors are not really good informed when it comes to herpes, also there is no such big community for it, the most info you get here is it can be transmitted nearly everytime, always use a condom for everything :(

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When a friend rides in the car with you, do you obsess about the fact that if you do something wrong (or just plain get unlucky) your friend could get injured or killed while they are riding with you? Or do you both get into the car accepting that you will do everything that you can to protect both of you... that you will communicate when you can't perhaps go somewhere because your car isn't safe and needs to be serviced .... and that there's always that risk that you could hit black ice or a drunk driver could come into your lane or whatever and even with all the precautions you took, your friend *might* be injured... or eve killed?


Just like you may not always be able to drive your car when and where and how you want (maybe the tires are bald or the brakes need changing), you may not always be able to have uninhibited oral sex.... BUT ... as I already said, you have HSV2... which only very, VERY rarely transmits to the mouth and if you are taking anti-virals, the risk is so minute you have FAR bigger things to worry about. Dr Peter Leone is a well known specialist on H and you can see in the link below that he says that there is no reason to not have oral as long as we are *cautious* and pay attention to our bodies and play safe.


I'm sorry that you have to deal with the German health systems attitude toward H (It's not a lot better than ours) ... I assume they won't give you antivirals then without multiple outbreaks? If that is the policy, what I would do would be to fib a little (I HATE lying but we are dealing with a system that isn't working to help us) and say you have had several OB's (at least 6) and see if they will give you the medication. Add in that you have prodromes all the time and maybe they will work with you. Having the meds may help you to relax a little too ... it sounds like you are over-sensitive right now to everything that you are feeling below the belt (it is very normal post diagnosis) and getting a break from it may be just what you need to breathe a bit and relax.....



Dr Leone Info: Oral Sex discussion Dr Leone

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funny fact to start, i'm 28 and have no driver license :D

but i get what you are saying wiih your car example, it's a good one.

And i think you are totally right when you say i'm over-sensitive down there and i was already thinking about taking antivirals, just to relax myself a bit about it, i was just unsure because i'm just not a big fan of pills etc.. the last doctor i talked to said, herpes comes and goes ... and he didn't even considered to do a test, even when i asked him about that. so i decided to go to a lab by myself and got tested for hsv2, stupid thing i could have paid half the price for only igg test, they did igg and igm. the igg level was really high i think, it was 44, and the limit value is16-22. Does this mean something special if the igg level was that high?


Thank you very much dancer and also hbased, your answers already calmed me and i'm glad that i found this website, really great work you are doing here. My next step will be to get to a doctor again and trying to get antivirals, but i think you have to pay for yourself here if you want to take them as suppression ... being a student so being out of money :D ... i will try your idea dancer ... ;)


Thanks again and i hope we will read us again if i could use some advices ... ;)

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Glad the example helped :)


Perhaps you can try the L-Lysine first .... that may help you and it's a lot cheaper. Some drug companies help with the cost of medication for people who have to pay out of pocket... you may want to go to their website and see if they have that in Germany if you can't get a script that is covered for it ;)


The numbers don't mean a whole lot after they get over 3.5 ... I would guess that if you are having mild symptoms that the high number may be to do with that though :/



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