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First time post with lots of questions

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So last March 27th I got the diagnosis that I had herpes simplex type 2. When I found out this news I felt like my world had stopped and that everything that I had planned for myself had been destroyed. And I think that what upset me most was that not only did I have an illness that would be with me for the rest of my life, but I got it from a man who said he loved me, but was in fact abusing me. And that's something I have been trying to learn not to beat myself up over, I keep telling myself if I had left him sooner then maybe I wouldn't be in the situation. Over the last course of the year I have figured out how to love myself again, and be comfortable with myself again, which I swear when I talk to the people ive told because i trust them they look at me like they don't understand. I know they're trying to so that they can support me, but the truth is that I don't think that they get it. I have been fortunate enough in the last few months to meet the man who is good to me, and who I have been able to tell about my diagnosis and he still wants to be with me.


I signed up for the forum the night that I found out about my diagnosis, but I haven't posted anything because I've been coming to terms with it myself. I have a lot of questions about how the symptoms are, and I don't want to sound stupid.


Since I am still figuring out the symptoms, I was wondering if anybody could give me some feedback. I noticed that the first 2 weeks of the first outbreak were the most excruciating pain that I have ever experienced. it got to a point where I couldn't walk, or wear underwear, or even sleep properly due to having my lymph nodes so swollen in my groin area. Since then I have to say that I have not experienced that much pain for which I am very grateful. But I still get confused by how to figure out if I am about to have an outbreak. I was not having my lymph nodes swelling the last few months, but the other night my lymph node started swelling again and I get very itchy in my genital area which I'm wondering if that is a sign? also, last month I had an outbreak and randomly one evening my leg gave out on me and I didn't experience any pain it just collapsed under me, has anyone ever experienced that? Also, if you're having an outbreak is sex safe with a condom? How safe is oral sex with genital herpes? These are just some of my queations.


I really hope that these questions don't sound silly I just have no idea what I'm dealing with, and the doctor has only given me so much information, & I have read quite a lot of other people's forums and have not been able to have these questions answered. If anyone can give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it. Also I would like to say that one of the things that I have been grateful for was finding this site as it has allowed me to know that I'm not alone.

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Your story sounds pretty awful, I'm sorry for that. Hope this forum can help you out a bit!

I can answer only a few of your questions even though I've been walking around with herpes for about two years now.

I can't really tell when an OB is coming either, and sometimes I notice it all feels irritated down there and I wonder if that's part of herpes too, but there's a discussion going on about that in another topic right now, right here: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5819/can039t-tell-if-i039m-having-a-herpes-outbreak#Item_5


As for having sex during an outbreak: you will still have skin contact with all the skin around the condom, which is a risk. With oral sex you their is a chance of getting cold sores on the mouth, so that's not very appealing either... But here are lots of other ideas that are safe: http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5807/list-the-ways-to-protect-my-partner-from-getting-herpes-hsv2#Item_30



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Hello and Welcome!


I have to keep this short... but I wanted to answer a few of your most pressing questions:


1) NO sex with an OB ... period ... *unless* your partner also had HSV2... that is when you have the highest possibility off passing it on. An OB is shedding on steroids... when you have the highest concentration of the virus in the area, and a condom can slip or break so even if it covers the OB area I wouldn't chance it... the link that @FTO gave about other things to do is a GREAT resource for ways to play during an OB (and OB's give us the excuse to find new ways to get our freak on!)


2) Oral sex with genital HSV2 : It's *generally* considered reasonably safe by the experts ... certainly the virus doesn't normally like the mouth at all. Recently we have had a number of people with HSV2 orally on here... while it may make it seem "common" we have to remember that we get a LOT more of the people with the more unusual/confusing/rare experiences on here simply because there's nothing out there to help them to get answers. I've had H2 for 35 yrs and to my knowledge I've never passed it orally to anyone in that time ... and I had TONS of great oral sex with my last BF (he was VERY gifted in that dept!) .. I WAS on onti-virals but this guy has all kinds of skin issues and never got either from me.. so some of it is how well you manage your H, some of it is your partners immune system, and some of it is just plain dumb luck. :/


3) Some sympton info:





Hope this helps!

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