Update on life after Herpes.

[DecievedAndDealing]

Hey everyone,

 

I haven't been on in a while but I just recently disclosed again and I wanted to share my experience for anyone who's struggling with accepting that herpes is not the end of the world....cause initially it does feel like that. Since I found out about having herpes (HSV-2) I have "hooked up" with one person and dated two. My first disclosure was rough because I thought he gave me herpes (this was the hook up) and we were drunk and hadn't used protection so the whole thing was a mess. When I found out it was my ex-boyfriend and that he had lied it made things even more rough but at least my hook up knew he wasn't the one who gave it to me. He got tested and ended up being negative and we went on as friends. We also slept together again even after the whole fiasco and after him finding out I did in fact have herpes. That gave me hope, but it was easier to be vulnerable with him because we were good friends so when I started dating some one new my heart sank knowing I had to tell him. For those of you who don't know my story, I am also a rape survivor so I occasionally suffer from PTSD mostly in the form of nightmares or anxiety attacks. Although they have become few and far between, I still disclose this as well because they can be triggered by sex. So knowing I had to tell him both of these things scared me. I waited until about our 5th or 6th date because I could tell that he was catching feelings and had enough time to get to know me. I could tell he thought I wasn't interested in him physically so I finally let it all out. I was just honest. I cried and told him the truth and told him I'd understand if that scares him and respect his decision either way. He ended up hugging me, wiping my tears, and we went on to date and have plenty of sex for a few months. Fast forward to now. I just started seeing a new guy and our 6th date was last night. Low and behold he was feeling like I'm disinterested so I let the truth fly. This time it came out differently though. I still cried over the rape but herpes has become not a big deal to me. I know it doesn't really effect me and now I also know that guys are still going to want to date and sleep with me so whether or not he is cool with it or freaks isn't a big deal since there will be someone else if I'm not for him. He ended up asking a couple questions and said he had be accused of having herpes once. Turns out he doesn't but the amount of research he did thinking he might have it changed his mind about it being a big deal. He thanked me for telling him and is practically begging me to sleep with him at this point. So here's the moral of this very long story: herpes is not the end of the world. You will still have significant others and lovers in your life. Own your skeletons, be proud of what makes you who you are regardless of whether or not they are pretty. Every skeleton in your closet taught you something so embrace the positive in that and remember that we always think our skeletons are the scariest and chances are that they're only the scariest to you.

 

Hope this helps someone.

XO

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Thank you for sharing your uplifting story! To hear from someone who has survived and come through not just coping with an STD but a very traumatic life event, is inspiring. You deserve all the love in this world, so enjoy this great guy! :)

[WCSDancer2010]

@DecievedAndDealing

 

I think it's time for a name change!!!!! Whooohoooo!!!!

 

So happy for you!

 

I think that this part deserves to be highlighted:

 

For those of you who don't know my story, I am also a rape survivor so I occasionally suffer from PTSD mostly in the form of nightmares or anxiety attacks. Although they have become few and far between, I still disclose this as well because they can be triggered by sex.

XO

 

This is SOOOO important for people to get about disclosure ... there are many, MANY things that people will need to disclose about in a potential relationship that could be a deal breaker for another. And it's important to note that the long-term effects of the rape have far more power over you (and your fears of being rejected) than herpes does ... proof that it's all about perspective, eh?

 

Good for you friend. You are far stronger than you realize, and this guy can see that. Keep us posted... he sounds like a keeper :)

 

(((HUGS)))