No self worth can't feel better.

[Getbetter111]

I feel like shit everyday I have beat myself up so bad that I'm not sure I can come back from this.i wake up everyday with same feeling in my gut that I have ruined my family and life will never be the same because of my actions.i have called to try and get someone to speak with but have not found anyone yet.dont know if I can take this feeling anymore.

 

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

@Getbetter11, I can tell by all of your posts that you are suffering... in a very big way. I strongly recommend professional help, as in going to talk to a counselor or therapist. You need to make this priority number one. A lot of people have tried to counsel you, and tried to help you through this very difficult time in your life, and provided many many words of wisdom and support. But there is only so much that we will be able to help you with. Something more invasive, more regular, face-to-face will probably do you tremendous amounts of good. If not for you, do this for your family. When you get to a better place emotionally and mentally, you will be able to give them so much more support and love. And it appears that is what you all need right now.

 

You will come out of this one day, and you have to find a way to forgive yourself, and release this burden of guilt and shame. Life is completely unpredictable, and a lot of it is out of our control. Yes, we make mistakes, but there are lessons concealed in those mistakes and it is up to each of us, to learn and to fight and move from a place of sorrow into healing and love. If you keep feeding into those thoughts, if you keep putting all the blame on your shoulders, you will never get out of the darkness. You need to take serious action, and work with someone to fight through this trying time in your life.

 

Take action today. Find someone to talk to, to help you through this process of healing. You deserve to forgive yourself, to love yourself, and to feel to happy again. It starts with you... please seek the professional help you need. One step at a time, and you will get there.

 

A quote for you: "Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we be able to discover the infinite power of our light."

[WCSDancer2010]

i have called to try and get someone to speak with but have not found anyone yet.

 

Really? No one in your area has an opening at all?

 

I hear you are suffering and believe me, I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away, but friend, you have to do the work and that means first getting on the phone and getting an appointment set up.

 

You seem to specialize in avoidance of facing things that have the potential to be painful. Both you and your wife avoided going to the Dr until you couldn't stand the pain of your issues ... and I'm willing to BET that this is an ongoing theme in your marriage (and likely the reason you looked elsewhere for sex that one time) ... and you need professional help for BOTH of you to work though this.

 

We are here to support you but this is something you really, truly need professional help and support for to work through. Get on the phone NOW, get the appointment set up NOW and come back on here when you can tell us the time and date of the appointment.

 

If you won't do it for yourself, do it for your baby. He needs a whole, happy, and healthy Daddy and Mommy in his life .... you BOTH need to work on your stuff so you will be the best parents you can be for him ... whatever happens in your relationship with each other.... ok???

 

 

(((HUGS)))