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Sex is my only trigger for herpes. Every time I have sex... Bam! Herpes. Anyone similar?

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Hi! I'm new here, however I've been scouring this site since i was given the news. Really grateful for all the information and can see its a really community full of support.

I was diagnosed but a doctor by sight. I really had a text book first outbreak. Every symptom I could check off. The doctor was really great and offered me a blood test but told me that test would most likely come back negative as the antibodies haven't been given enough time. I opted for the test anyway and asked to get every other STD on the menu tested as well. Doc was right, I came back negative... for all so that offered me some relief. It's been 5 months and I am still yet to get another test. I'm grasping on to what little hope I have of not having it. Maybe just maybe I was misdiagnosed. I had scabies on my legs at the same time from staying in hostels!! So maybe it's scabies... But I know it's not. I know i'm in denial.

I got my first outbreak 5 months ago. And... It was awful! Extremely painful. But 5 months later the outbreaks have been nothing but One or two sores. Barely painful at all, more just tingly. What a relief! I'm learning that living with herpes is not so bad. Stigma being the real negative.


I'm currently on anti viral, which I only take whenever I feel something coming on and I'm healed in 3-4 days and now when ever i know i'm going to see my bf and have sex.

I have a question about everybody's triggers. I seem to have no triggers other than sex. I can drink alcohol, drugs, eat unhealthily, be super stressed, tired everything and I never get an outbreak. However I get an outbreak every time I have sex! I can't find anything on the internet of anyone with a similar experience. I now take antivirals 10 days before I see my bf (who lives in italy) and it seems to stop the outbreak.


Anyone our there with a similar experience?

I've done so much research on this virus, it's almost an obsession. I feel like i've become really educated on a topic that i was once super ignorant about!! But i can't find anything on sex being the only trigger?


Ps. I am taking a test next month when I'm back in Germany. It's time to meet my herpes, i'm ready now.

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First of all I'm a guy, so a bit of a difference there. ;)


How long has it been since your dx? Maybe you need to give your body more time to get the virus under control.


The first time I had sex post dx (6 weeks post) I had an ob which had many more blisters than my initial ob, but it subsided a lot quicker. I was rather crushed, as I like you, was able to eat anything, drink alcohol and handle stress without any obs. I felt doomed to a life without sex, or sex followed with an ob preventing me from having sex again for a while.


Fast forward almost three months and I had the pleasure of having sex again. This time I took other's advice and avoided rough sex, deliberately kept the act shorther than I normally would (sucks, but at least I was getting some) and used lots of lube. As much as I enjoyed having sex again I was actually more interested to see how I would react. Honestly I can't tell you for sure if I passed the test or not. I did have a couple of minor blisters pop up, but honestly I think (and hope) this was due to heavy exercise the day following having sex. The previous week I had been on the treadmill several times and I kept getting small blisters throughout that week, so hopefully my obs were due to the exercise. I can live without being on the treadmill for now, but no sex is a more difficult pill to swallow.


I have heard of people getting obs from the actual orgasm and not the sex it self, as an orgasm triggers certain hormones which causes obs. I would guess though that in most cases it is the friction which is the cause, and not the orgasm. I suggest you go real gently next time and use lots of lube. A steamy foreplay may help things out too as you will be more relaxed.


I hope this helps you and that you can soon enjoy ob free sex again.

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Rough sex is a trigger if there's too much friction for me. General rule of thumb is that if I'm still sore 2-3 days later, I'm probably going to have an OBOB within another couple of days. I just try to make sure that we use enough lube, and that usually solves the issue. I use a silicone-based lube, which is longer lasting. I think it's called Pure Pleasure by Pure Romance, and it's advertised for all nighters haha. It's pricey, but I highly recommend it. It lasts a while, anyway, because you don't have to use as much or reapply constantly.

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Sex can be a trigger especially in the first months simply because the body is still learning to deal with the virus and the irritation to the skin just creates an excuse for the virus to come out .... sort of like exposure to too much sun causes OB's for folks with Oral H.


As mentioned, cut back on rough sex, use lots of lube, and in addition, try to figure out other ways to be intimate (this is actually a "bonus" for those with H because we are alomst forced to learn other ways to get our freak on :)




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