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First Questionable Disclosure coming up..help please? :)

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Hi all,


Quick summary - I had an equivocal HSV1 test, considered negative I guess, 3 months ago. I got tested again recently, low positive. Asymptomatic. In the past month my lower lip has been twitching on and off, but this could be my anxiety more than anything. I am getting the western blot test drawn for this Friday.


In the meantime I met an amazing woman last September. We danced at a wedding and connected on FB, occasional message here and there. In early January I was visiting in her state and spent more time with her - no sex, just deep connection. Since then we quickly ramped up to texting daily, and now skyping daily. I'm in Texas, she's in MA. The chemistry between us is so strong. I'm 35 and I have -never- felt this way about someone before, even through all the lust and love I've had. I could go on about She's coming to visit for 6 days in late Feb. I do not think the western blot result will be back by then :/


Please give me some insight on what to do. I want to share my story with her, and I want to do it in the most educated way possible. I'm not sure if I should tell her over skype (feels lame) or wait until she arrives and do it face to face. I'm thinking the latter, but it's killing me inside to keep this from her - we have been so open and vulnerable with each other already.


Lastly I know there is no guarantee I am definitely positive based on my history. I may be jumping the gun, but given the statistics I am resolving that I probably have HSV1 and need to at least present that possibility to her.



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Well here's the thing - a positive result won't tell you WHERE you have it ... so if you have HSV1 theres a good chance you have it orally - 80% of the population has "cold sores" or at least has the virus there.... 80% don't know it. So that's something to tell her anyway ... that the odds are she may have H1 orally and likely has kissed/had oral sex with people with H1 orally.


If you have it genitally, in a way, it's better because it sheds less there and there are few, if any known cases of people with H1 genitally passing it on to another. I need to get to bed ... but I'll post the links for the handouts and video - you can give them to her ... and I strongly suggest that you read all of the Success Stories that you can on here for inspiration and ideas of what to say.




Handouts + disclosure e-book:



Herpes facts video
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@kender I would suggest the same.... even if you aren't sure whether you have it. as dancer said, most people carry the virus! She may have it too for all you/she knows. Telling her about your concerns will show how much you care for her and respect her, only GOOD can come from disclosing.

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