Newly Diagnosed with Herpes and Dumped

[Hurt_Again]

I was just diagnosed with HSV2 on this valentines day. Its been horrible. Im going through my first outbreak and it hurts like someone has set lighter fluid...blew up my gential area. Its been burning and burning then to extreme pain. I just want to die. I feel worthless....no one wants me. Ive isolated myself from my children because I dont want them exposed. I clean the toliet each time I use the bathroom bc Im contiguous.My lower back hurt....my bottom....my insides. Im a nasty women whos life have been shader to pieces. No man would ever want to be with me. Just today I told the person I was with...how I felt having this virus.....well since we broken up....he's only pushed me away. Im crossed between just ending it all or disappearing from the face if the earth. I hate my life...

[chikitta13]

Deep breathes! Finding out and the first outbreak are the worst but it will get better. First, the pain. Did your doctor give you antivirals? They help shorten the outbreak. But the sooner you get them the better they work. As for relief, there are many different things and different things work for different people. Try a sitz bath. I will even keep some baking soda and a cup by the sink and rinse with cool water and baking soda several times a day. Then blow dry on the cool setting. It helps dry things out. My favorite is coconut oil with just one drop of tea tree oil. I use the organic coconut oil that you can find at the grocery store. Just make sure it's pure coconut oil. I'm sure others will share what helps them feel better.

 

As for the feelings of loneliness, pain, and hopelessness: this will pass. Your body will learn to deal with the virus. But the psychological hurt is definitely tough. You are not a nasty woman. Many beautiful women and men experience this virus. And we're here to share our love and support. Please know that you're not alone!

[PositivelyBeautiful]

Hi Hurt_Again, dealing with the physical and emotional aftermath of this all at once is difficult, and we have all been there to a certain extent, so you are not alone. When I was first diagnosed, I was seeing someone and he had the same reaction. We spoke once and I didn't hear from him again. He was kind in his response, but disappeared following my immediate disclosure... that reaction was actually harder to deal with than the diagnosis itself. But ultimately, what I had learned after was that he gave me the opportunity to find love for myself, in the most deep and self-sufficient of ways... I was empty and alone, and although I had confided in some close friends who were very supportive, it was up to me to work through the pain, and find love for myself. I did, because I chose every single day to not let herpes define who I was and am. Please understand one thing - nobody has the right to validate your worth... only you do that. On both sides of the coin, you have the ability to either put yourself down, and beat yourself up, or choose to love yourself regardless instead. Every single moment, you have the choice to alter those self-defeating thoughts and focus on the things that make you beautiful and special. Herpes doesn't change anything about you, or what you have to offer someone... and when you realize that, it will only get better. It's not easy, but every thought counts... so take this opportunity to get stronger through self-love. Feed your soul with positive affirmations, and kindness. You deserve to love and be loved, everyone does. Also, remember that herpes can happen to anyone, you alone are NOT a bad/nasty person because you contracted it... we are all human, and our bodies are all susceptible to catching viruses. It can and does happen to all kinds of people, under various circumstances. And finally, someone will love you, someone will understand all of this, and see how amazing you are, and accept you fully. But it starts with you... choose to love yourself, and do not allow the thoughts and actions of others to tell you that you are less than the beautiful person you truly know yourself to be. You have all the power and love inside of you to heal and become stronger, work toward that every day... And in your moment's of weakness, come here. We'll help remind you that you are loving and deserving and that you are never alone.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Hurt_Again

 

First - Hello and Welcome... you have found the right place to learn to heal both your body and your heart. Know that what you are feeling now are just that... FEELINGS .... and like all feelings, this too shall pass. I'm a 35 veteran of Herpes and I promise you that the bleakness you are feeling right now can and will pass. Be patient with yourself and the process over the next days, weeks, and maybe even months. We call this the Herpes Opportunity because there are all kinds of GOOD things that can come from your diagnosis (I know that may sound nuts right now, and that's ok, but just believe me that many, MANY people on here come back after a few months to report that their lives are better than ever.

 

I was just diagnosed with HSV2 on this valentines day. Its been horrible. Im going through my first outbreak and it hurts like someone has set lighter fluid...blew up my gential area. Its been burning and burning then to extreme pain.

 

I get it - this part sucks. I remember it all too well. I got Herpes in the late 70's when we didn't have Forums like this one to get help and ideas about what to do to stop the pain. But you CAN control a lot of it with various OTC things like Epsom Salts, Ammonium Alum, Baking Soda, Peroxide, etc ... I'm posting some links below to give you some ideas, but for your immediate info: Pour water over the area while you pee... it diffuses the urine so it doesn't sting as much... or pee in the shower. Then thoroughly dry the area with a blow drier on warm. Drying things out makes a HUGE difference for many. Epsom Salts baths work great... sit in the tub and dump 1-2 handfuls of the salts right between the legs so it is concentrated there ... then dry off with the blow drier. Go commando when you can ... long maxi skirts or loose pants are great ... again, keeps it dry. The links have plenty of other ideas for you to try - but this will get you started.

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/easy-simple-self-help-tips-for-relief-from-herpes-outbreaks/

 

Going to be adding this info on DMSO to the above link soon:

 

DMSO: Seems to really help with the soreness and redness/inflammation. be careful with DMSO, it actually will carry ANY other chemical you have on your skin deeper into the tissue. think of it like a carrier oil with essential oils. wash your hands/use a q tip. this also makes it effective to use with another topical like tea tree oil. apply DMSO, wait 15, then dab on the TTO. it will absorb a ton more than normal.

http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4810/bactine-for-oral-and-even-genital-herpes

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-treatment/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-medication/

 

Links to some of the items suggested in the links

http://tinyurl.com/pmosahc Link to Alum

http://tinyurl.com/Aloecream

http://tinyurl.com/bactine

http://tinyurl.com/Oragelsgldose

http://tinyurl.com/DMSO4HSV

 

I just want to die. I feel worthless....no one wants me.

 

If this feeling continues, PLEASE get professional help. This virus is SOOO not worth committing suicide over. Again, take it from a veteran.... you will get through this ... and it is patently untrue that "no one wants you". You've known your status for 2 days ... and your BF turned out to be a jerk (I'll deal with him in a moment) but that doesn't mean that "no one" wants you. We have tons of Success Stories on here. I strongly suggest you read as many of them as you can :)

 

Ive isolated myself from my children because I dont want them exposed. I clean the toliet each time I use the bathroom bc Im contiguous.

 

Ok - here's the deal . You are NOT a walking talking petri dish of viral critters just waiting to jump on everyone. If that was true, EVERYONE would have Herpes all over their bodies :)

 

You have H on your GENITALS - so as long as your kids are not coming in contact with that area (and if they are, there's much more serious things to worry about!) then they will be safe, ok? You don't need to clean the toilet every time you use it either. The *only* time you might consider that is if you had an active OB right on your bottom ... but even then, the virus barely lives for minutes most of the time outside the body (it only survives under very specific conditions which include moisture and warmth). I raised my two daughters in the 80's with no info on H ... didn't even think to worry about toilets and towels ... because it was on my genitals ... and they are 26 and 28 now and they are both fine (BTW, I GAVE BIRTH to my second while I had Herpes ... the first was by C-section ... didn't pass it on then either!) AND, I have Oral HSV1 ... aka Cold Sores ... as well. If anyone was going to pass it to their kids it should have been me!!! I wrote a blot on this because sooo many people need to understand that they can and SHOULD live a VERY normal family life with H :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/toilets-towels-and-touching-oh-my/

 

Im a nasty women whos life have been shader to pieces. No man would ever want to be with me. Just today I told the person I was with...how I felt having this virus.....well since we broken up....he's only pushed me away. Im crossed between just ending it all or disappearing from the face if the earth. I hate my life...

 

You are TOTALLY not a "nasty woman". And you WILL find love. Again, read the Success Stories.... the vast majority are with discordant couples ... and the stories are beautiful.

 

Now, as for the BF: Herpes just did you a BIG favor ... you see, H can be your Wingman (sounds nuts, but stick with me here!). Odds are VERY high that the guy is the one that GAVE you Herpes yet he walked when you told him??? Who wants a jerk like that in their life? Herpes will help you learn who wants to get into YOU, and who just wants to GET INTO you really quickly. This guy wasn't there for YOU when you needed him ... herpes made him show his colors. Be thankful that you learned that about him... perhaps you wouldn't want to have gotten Herpes to get that lesson, but try to see it as one of the "Opportunities" of having H. And there are many things that having Herpes can teach you.

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/using-herpes-as-your-wingman/

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5897/my-first-disclosure-story#latest Wingman example

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3309/successful-herpes-disclosure-but-not-for-the-reasons-you-might-think

 

So stick with us, rant when you need to, and know that you are FAR from alone and you WILL get through this. You have your children who need you and you need to show them how to deal with adversity.... even if they don't know what is going on for you, how you rise up and become stronger will help them to see that even when things are not going our way, we will get through it all. And THAT is a precious gift that you can give them ;)

 

(((HUGS)))

 

Herpes as a relationship filter Adrial

[WCSDancer2010]

Just wanted to post this discussion that I "updgraded" to a "Success Story" ... because I want you to see that a classy man won't react the way your guy did:

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/5973/new-here-overcoming-initial-shock-and-shame-of-getting-herpes

[Hurt_Again]

Thank you everyone for the encouragement..Ive given much thought and Im grateful to have people who understand. God Bless

[WCSDancer2010]

Glad you are feeling better ... don't ever let ANY man make you believe you are anything but beautiful and worthy of love... and if he can't see that, it's HIS loss :)

 

(((HUGS)))