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So I've been with the same guy for about 3 months now, everything has been great until about a week or so ago, something was not right about the sex. It was the most painful thing I have ever experienced, I couldn't even handle his finger inside me let alone his male part.. Then I started noticing that it stung really bad when I peed. I decided to look in the mirror and see if I noticed anything weird, that's when I saw the sores, and that's when I broke down. I pretty much had a gut feeling about what it was and I still haven't seen a doctor, made an appointment but that's not for another week and a half, so I may have self diagnosed but what else could this be? So anyways not only am I dealing with these God awful sores but I'm now on my period and putting in a tampon is just as painful, but I can't wear pads because the sores stick. I have yet to talk to my boyfriend about this because I just don't know how to bring it up. I haven't told anyone about it because I am beyond terrified about their reactions. I've been crying non stop for a few days I'm depressed as ever and nothing seems to be going right for me.. I came across this website and I thought maybe it would help.

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Hi @newname, welcome to the forum... it's hard to say for sure that what you are experiencing is with 100% certainty herpes, but sores seem likely. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling emotionally and physically, but I would encourage you to talk to someone close about it. I know it's only been 3 months with your boyfriend and the conversation will be difficult, but opening up about it and sharing your pain might be beneficial to you both. Perhaps just mention that you haven't been 'right' down there and have made an appointment to see a doctor? It could be a lead-in to a conversation about STD testing, and if he's ever noticed anything, etc. Don't blame or assume blame though, because herpes is sneaky... 80% of people with genital herpes don't even know they have it... also, does your bf get cold sores? Because it could be HSV1 genital... a lot of people don't realize that they can pass on HSV1 during oral sex. You might have to have this conversation anyways after your doctor's appointment, so why not let him in a little and tell him what's going on. If not him, perhaps a very close friend that you trust? You should not have to endure this alone... all of us here have been through that very initial diagnosis stage, and it's not easy... and having support will be very helpful. We are all here for you, so reach out if you have any questions or need any help at all. Concerning the physical pain, you can start taking lysine and vitamin C to help your body fight it, and various topical treatments listed on the forum might be helpful too. Hang in there and reach out any time.

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Hello and Welcome!


@PositivelyBeautiful is right ... it's very possible your BF is carrying herpes and didn't know it.. AND if he has cold sores its very possible you got it from oral sex. Perhaps you can get into a Planed Parenthood a little quicker? I strongly suggest you don't go to a GP ... PP or an OBGYN is a better option because GP's are notoriously behind the times on Herpes info...


In the meantime, check out the links below including the ones about how you can self-treat to reduce the pain and lenght of time of the outbreak... ok??


You will be fine whatever the result.... I've had Herpes most of my life (oral sine 4, genital since 17) and I've had a great life, a 20 yr marriage and 2 post marriage H- BF's, 2 (now grown) daughters and plenty of great life experiences... :)




Treatments/medications (tons of links to discussions about OTC/self help treatments)



Handouts + disclosure e-book:



Herpes facts video
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