Having a hard time being happy

[WCSDancer2010]

Yes I do.My ex hubby had frequent bouts of swollen glands and flu symptoms ... over time it got better ... today he says he has hardly anything even during an OB...

 

Make sure you got the part about the rumination ... the more you pay attention to something, the more you notice it ... so experiment with what he did (go watch it - he explains how he dealt with the over-thinking about his brother's illness...) and see if it helps the symptoms ... as I've said, a lot of this *may* be what I call the "tick effect" .... just like when you find a tick on your pet and you feel things crawling on you constantly, also when you "notice" some sensations, if you then worry about them, you will often start to feel more sensations. It's worth a try to use his distraction method to see if it helps.... ;)

[Getbetter111]

Same thing is still going on not sure what to do at this point.i have had therapy and it really hasn't helped not finding any joy out of life.i feel like walking dead then the feeling of I might as we'll be is right there.i have my wife and baby are the only thing that is stoping me from doing the unthinkable I don't want to have them to live with that pain but don't want to make them miserable with me. I want to be happy just can't seem to make myself snap out of this. I lost two good friend from my actions way before this they were like brothers hung out everyday now I stuck by myself and feel like biggest pos that I am.sorry just have no one else to talk to.

[Sil88]

I'm think the mental side is causing the physical side, so don't wait for the physical to fade. I'm trying to solve the same problem. Could you open up to the friends you say you've lost? Tell them youre facing some issues that are trying to make you a different person. And spend some time on a hobby, or teaching your kid a hobby if its not too early? You probably can't enjoy things as much anymore but maybe with some perseverance it'll change. Keep going forward!

[whitedaisies]

Therapy takes time. Your feelings don't change overnight. It can take a few months to get a good shift. Meds will help immensely if you are thinking about suicide. Even if u won't do it. If the thoughts are there IMO antidepressants are required.

 

Keep doing therapy. Some weeks you will regress, some you will feel stuck, others you will see progression. You are NOT going to wake up one day and snap out of it. It doesn't work that way. Slow and steady support thu meds and therapy is required.

 

The mind needs a chance to heal and sometimes it just takes longer than we want.

 

You hve to make the commitment to yourself to try. Somedays you will go through the motions but everything counts.

 

Therapy gives you support so you don't feel alone.

 

[WCSDancer2010]

Therapy isn't an overnight "fix". Even with anti-depressants it can take months (often a LOT more) to help you break through to the ROOT of your depression. As I said to you before ... odds are that there's a LOT of stuff you need to work on that was there that led up to the indiscretion ... and you need to get to the bottom of that.. and that just plain will take time.

 

If you want to be there for your wife and child, make the commitment NOW to do everything you can to deal with your depression and your battered self esteem ... you can CHOOSE to do this so you can be the best father you can be for your child ... or you can curl up in a ball and blame EVERYTHING from your depression and physical issues to whatever else goes wrong in your life on Herpes ... and I can tell you ... that virus is nowhere near that powerful ... ;)