So really, you don’t technically get herpes from sex, you get it from touching.

[Carlos]

I came across an article at Bustle.com where a very eloquent young woman talks about her [h] journey and disclosing. I know I'm preaching to the choir because everyone up in here is SO good at expressing your-fine-ass-self. But I had to share just a bit of her own disclosure script:

 

“Herpes is super common — over 20 percent of people have it, and it’s even more prevalent in women, because it’s easier to catch it if you have ladyparts. It gets transmitted from skin-to-skin contact, and you can actually get it from many parts of someone else’s body, not just their special parts (including mouths, butts, and thighs). So really, you don’t technically get it from sex, you get it from touching. You’re much more likely to get it from someone who has a herpes sore, but you can also get it in between the times when sores are around. While there isn’t a cure, there’s medication I can take to protect you from getting it, and using condoms also helps.”

 

What struck me is the sentence that I also used as the title to this discussion. And yes, @adrial has been telling us the same for years now. But I think it was the "ladyparts" bit that really drove the message home for me tonight. And you know, I'm a bonafide gay man, so I don't see where this is coming from. All of a sudden I see ladyparts everywhere. And they're beautiful!

 

Gentlemanparts are nice too, when they're not hanging there looking like a bunch of walnuts.

 

Have I totally crossed the line? Forgive me, I'm from New York. No filter. But considering the topic that we touch upon around these parts (haha) I figured, make 'em laugh a little. This [h] thing can get really REAL sometimes; because we have a tendency to treat loneliness with isolation, and to judge our own bodies to the point of self-inducing anxiety and doom.

 

With [h] some days are good some not so much; but it could always be worse.

 

So here here! To finding the ladyparts (or the gentleman parts) of your sexy dreams. And touch others with love, not with judgment.

 

Carlos

[WCSDancer2010]

OMG @Carlos ... I SOOOO love you! You don't pop in alot (that's what SHE said!), but when you do, it's worth the wait! Thank you for this!

[harrij]

If it is spreads by touching then why it is called sexualy transmitted infection???

[2Legit2Quit]

@harrij because it's the touching of below our waist. The entire area that boxer briefs cover, is where herpes can be spread from. This is why condoms only provide partial protection, during intercourse.

[mandymoon]

Totally. Thank you @Carlos. And why aren't cold sores an STD too tho? Yes we get it by smooches, but some get it from oral sex as well. And it tends to be the not big deal less traumatizing package.

[WCSDancer2010]

@mandymoon

 

Actually, *most* get oral herpes (cold sores) as kids from sharing utensils and drinks and sloppy kisses ... 60% of all young people have HSV1 orally by the time they are young adults ...very few if any actually get cold sores from oral sex because the H1 virus sheds a LOT less down below (like about 1/3 as much as it does around the mouth).

 

As for why cold sores aren't an STD... I call them a "potential" STD ... because most don't GET them from sex, but it can be transferred to the genitals through oral sex...

 

@harrij

 

The point of the article is that it's the TOUCHING of the skin to skin contact that causes the transfer of the virus. That sex may be the activity most commonly associated with it, because of the location, but actually wrestlers get HSV1 from each other on any exposed skin (Herpes Gladiatorum) because one person has an oral OB and doesn't notify the officials (some are less obvious than others)... and you can get it on your finger if you scratch an OB with broken skin in the area... so sex isn't the ONLY way it's transferred....

[harrij]

Wcsdancer2010 you mean to say herpes can spread by touching affected area with our broken skin...suppose if by default I touche any part of my body

(excluding mucous membrane) with Herpes sores , I will not not contract virus until I don't have broken skin or cut on skin ???

[WCSDancer2010]

Herpes is *usually* spread through extended contact/rubbing of the skin ... open skin/sores/etc will just create an easier route for the virus to get in..

 

Now, if you already have herpes, once the antibodies have gotten established (about 4 months) you almost can't spread it to another area, even with broken skin... you DO need to be cautious for the first few months because it's possible to "auto-inoculate" other areas until the antibodies get established.