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Messy and unplanned herpes talk, but successful

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There's this guy that I was interested in back in August. We had hooked up in the past, but lost touch. In between us talking, I got genital HSV 1 from another guy I was talking to. This was in December. After I found out about H I ultimately decided to be celibate, but it was more so because I was afraid to tell anyone and get rejected, rather than not wanting to have sex. Nevertheless, I ran into this guy Saturday at an event and decided to text him. One thing led to another and I invited him over that night. But when he got here I completely chickened out with how to have "the talk". Unfortuantely, I had been drinking earlier in the night so the confidence I had when I invited him had worn off as I sobered up. Anyway, it was clear that he wanted to and I kept refusing because I didn't know he would react to my news. But he kept asking what was going on with me so I finally told him. First, let me say, this was not a very detailed talk but I'm pretty sure he got the point. Also, the timing was awful because it was kind of in the heat of the moment. I simply asked if he ever had a cold sore. He said no and asked if I had one, then said he's already been kissing me so it shouldn't matter. So I clarified, and said no. I hooked up with a guy that gave me the virus that causes them, and that it wasn't on my mouth. He understood and asked how long ago it was. When I told him it was back in December he kind of shrugged it off. So I clarified that I just didn't feel comfortable doing anything with him without telling him. He then asked if he would definitely catch it and I said no, the chances are very unlikely, I just wanted you to know. He just smiled at me and asked if we could have sex now, and then went down on me.

It was a very casual thing, and I didn't expect anything to grow from it. It just proved that even if you're afraid to have the talk, there will be people that understand and will think you're worth the risk. The next morning he ended up saying that he wanted to take me on an actual date, so we'll see where that goes. It definitely wasn't expected. Nevertheless, if things do get more serious I may have the talk again in a more quiet setting with more facts and statistics.


The moral of the story is, there is no clear set way to have the talk and there's no way to really tell how someone will react when telling them. There also is no clear cut definition of a "success." Just take the risk in confiding in them, and if they're meant to be in your life then they will respond in the best way possible. People will believe you're worth the risk and your life is definitely not over :)

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