First herpes outbreak

[burnbrighter]

I got a blood test done about 5 months ago and came up positive for HSV 1, but had never had an outbreak and didn't know where it was. Within those five months I began talking to this amazing man, that I've grown quite fond of. A couple of weeks ago I had a work trip coming up and the next thing I know I have itchy bumps, I break down immediately I know what it is. I guess I'd spent the passed couple of months assuming it was oral. I got the test results from the swab back two days ago. I'm terrified of telling him. I'd like some verification on some stats if anybody can help me out, before I disclose. I've been taking daily valtrex as suppressive therapy I know that this with condoms brings me down to a 1% chance of passing it to him over a year. However, does that statistic lessen if he's ever had an oral cold sore before? Also any advice on disclosing and any helpful stats that you used in your talk would be great, I've been crying just thinking about it.

[WCSDancer2010]

Actually, with HSV1, your risk with the meds and condoms is much less than 1% because HSV1 sheds a lot less in the genital region. In fact, you would have a far higher risk of passing it to him if you had Oral HSV1 through oral sex than you do of giving it to him with GHSV1 ;)

 

If he's had a cold sore or tests positive for HSV1 then he has the antibodies so he then also has *some* protection from it.

 

Best way to approach it with him is to start with saying you know that things may get physical soon so it's probably a good time to discuss anything that might be better discussed when you are not in the heat of the moment ... starting with STD's and your sexual health. Then ask if he's had a cold sore before ... if yes, you can use that as a segue to how you got it, and the fact that most people who get GHSV1 get it from someone who is not having an oral OB at the time and usually doesn't even know they have it ...

 

I strongly suggest that you really try to get him to get a test before you have sex so you KNOW his status ... because with 80% of the population having HSV1 one way or another, odds are very high he has it *somewhere* ;)

 

And check out all the Success Stories that you can for inspiration...

 

(((HUGS)))