Has anyone had a problem with trusting after being diagnosed?

[StillMeButWiser]

Has anyone had/has trouble in trusting people after being diagnosed with herpes? Diagnosed in january and simultaneously dumped by guy of 4 yrs who has hsv1. I find myself not trusting, especially men. What they say, if there is an alternative motive or what. Friends and my psychologist tells me I have the right to not trust given everything I have been through. Is this normal? It's gotten quiet bad, recently I had to deal with the authorities regarding custody of my children. Not trusting the officers words, feeling like they were saying anything to get me to do what they want. I gave them a hard time and questioned every little thing they slapped me with disorderly.

 

Not knowing for sure who gave me harry herp, I think of the men I have been with, how they possibly mislead or lied to me about being clean or about goals of the relationship. So I think this may be adding to the problem. I also wonder if this could be a hidden anger related as I was never angry for getting harry. Had no one to blame since I didnt know who was my giver. So I could only be angry with myself. Which wouldnt get me very far. I took it as sex is an adult act that comes with risk and responsibilities. I used condoms and still got it.

 

Im curious to know if others had the same issue. What can I do to trust again? I know trust needs to be earned. But I dont even give them a chance to earn it.

[whitedaisies]

Kind of in the same boat in terms of trust. But the trust extends to me too...testing my instincts and trusting what I feel for someone is real or just a fantasy or maybe not a mutual feeling...i don't trust too many people anymore BUT for me if has some to do with herpes BUT most to do about a broken heart, a disappointment in the lack of humanity in people.

 

All I can say is time will heal...continue therapy...be kind to yourself as TRuST has to be earned and you have very right to ask people to earn it!

 

Also you have to start trusting your woman's intuition. When I listen to mine...it never steers me wrong. That means you have to stay open and in tune woth yourself so you can hear the screaming voice inside you. Maybe the trust you have to earn back is your own. And once you do that it will be easier to give your trust to other people that earn it.

 

Just my 2 cents.

 

Good luck!!!!!

[WCSDancer2010]

Well said @whitedaisies ...

 

@StillMeButWiser ... any time we are "wronged", in ANY way, we need to learn how and WHEN to trust again.... both others AND ourselves ... so be patient with yourself... And Daisy is right - learn to listen to your intuition. That may mean finding a quiet place and just sitting with yourself for awhile, or journaling, but find a way to let the voice come through so you can hear it ... it's there.... it's just likely afraid to come out right now ;)

 

I tell people "Trust, but verify" ... or to put it another way ... don't just go on what people SAY ... wait to see what they DO. Talk is cheap... but give a person long enough and they will usually show you their true colors ... let them EARN their way to your heart ... you will come out better in the long run and they will likely appreciate you more for it :)

 

(((HUGS)))