A Positive H+ Story

[sanngrior]

I've been absent since I tested + for HSV1 genitally, but I wanted to share a positive disclosure story.

 

The man I was dating when I found out I was H+ and I broke up in February. Ultimately, I found myself relieved. He was a great guy - but we were too different. Still, I found myself not wanting to date anyone. I was asked out numerous times in the next few weeks, but the idea of disclosing was terrifying. Living in a small town, I knew that if I told the wrong person rumors would spread like wildfire. So I politely declined.

 

Shortly after, a friend of mine and I started hanging out once a week. Initially, neither of us had romantic intensions. We just wanted to watch bad horror films and play 90s video games! The time flew. We would laugh, drink beer and talk through whatever movie we meant to watch until it was 2AM. Soon I realized I was into him, but he was incredibly hard to read. The panic set in - what if he did like me, but then changed his mind when I disclosed? What if I didn't even get to the disclosure because he wasn't interested, and then lost one of my closest friends in town?

 

Two months later I had given up hope, until one day he nonchalantly put his arm around my shoulder. At last! I asked him if it bothered him that I got cold sores, and kissed him after he said no. Thinking about it the next day, I decided to wait a week or two before disclosing. It would be good to get a feel for things before I slept with him, and maybe get a feel for how he would react. But pretty soon we couldn't keep our hands off each other. So the next night while lying in bed, talking in the dark post makeout/fondling session, I told him. It came out rushed and awkward. He immediately told me he didn't care - he liked me too much, and it wasn't something he thought was a big deal. We agreed that antivirals and condoms were a must, at least for a while, and that was that.

 

Since then everything has been going really well. We've both been really open about sex and how we are feeling about our relationship in general, and it is so refreshing and fun. I recently had an OB scare (small rash on my bum - turned out to be monkey butt from work as it was gone in two days and I never developed any spots) and when I told him I didn't want to have sex because of it, he was completely understanding.

 

So. If you like someone and are nervous to disclose - don't be. You could be missing out! Sure, there is always the risk you will be turned down. But the truth is that potentially missing out on a great relationship is far worse than the potential sting of rejection.

[WCSDancer2010]

YESSSSSS!!! Good for you!!! You see, you got to see that he's more into YOU ... even though he's looking forward to getting INTO you ;)

 

Beautiful story - thank you for coming back to share with us!!!

 

(((HUGS)))

[Ihaveittoo1975]

Very nice!

 

Your last sentence is so true. Disclosure is scary for most folks, but the worst thing that can happen is getting a no. To me it's definitely worth the risk of rejection when disclosing if the person is worthy of you versus shying away from a relationship to begin with.