My story -- plus questions

[Theoverthinker524]

Hi my name is Luna I am 22 years young. Before I was diagnosed I was feeling really ill and my kidney was hurting and my vagina was in intense pain so I went to the ER and they ran blood tests and a piss test and I was told I had a kidney infection. They perscribed me pain meds and antibiotics and after I finished all my medicine 2 days later I noticed 3 bumbs down there. I have 2 on the right side and one big one on the left side of my hole that is halfway in and halfway out. I am in so much pain from these bumps I can't walk or sit. It especially hurts and burns whenever I go to the bathroom. So I decided to see an OB/GYN and I had a well woman's exam done and she took some swab tests of my bumps and She told me that she was 99% sure I have herpes. No be in mind before all of this I have been feeling really depressed but when she told me the bad news it just made every thing a million times worse. I said there was no point in me living anymore. I was upset because I thought my boyfriend was going to break up with me. And I was saying how no one who doesn't have it isnt going to want to be with me.

 

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about 6 months. And within those six months I thought I was healthy, until about a week ago when I was diagosned with a kidney infection and now herpes. I find it odd that all this stuff started happening to me just all of a sudden. I don't know why and it's really eating away at my brain. Its all I can think about and I cry every time I think about it. I know I have been faithful and I know my boyfriend has been faithful because we are together everyday and because he hasn't been showing any symptoms. I know that its possible I could have gotten from one of my past boyfriends. Or he could have it and not know it. I was scared to tell him at first because I didn't want him to think I cheated and then break up with me. He was upset at first but after talking to him and explaining things to him he's much more understanding of it. He went and got tested today and we're waiting on the results. We had a long talk and I was crying because I didn't want to break up with me. He told me that he's not judging me and that he believes me that I have never cheated and that he wants to give me the benefit of the doubt. After talking to him I feel so much better just knowing how understanding he is of all of this and I can really see that he really does love me for me. I'm so happy and thankful to have such an understanding boyfriend. Another thing is I just recently got hired at a new job which we are very happy about. I just wanted to add that I'm not trying to brag I just wanted to say that even though I have herpes its not something I have to sit and dwell and be depressed about. You can still have a normal life and postive things can still happen you can still be happy.

 

It's just all crazy how much me and him have been thru in these past 6 months. We been in about 2 car accidents together. Plenty of bad arguements that could have broken us up and I feel like this situation is making us stronger as a couple. I know having herpes is something I have to live with for the rest of my life and me crying about it wishing I was dead isn't going to change anything. I've realized there's nothing I can do about this except try to stay positive and try not to stress over it. It's only been a day since I've found out.

 

I used to think why would god give me this why me? But I have come to terms that it's my fault. I made the bad choices of not using protection in my past. Before I was diagnosed I would pray to god that it wouldn't be herpes but I'm now realizing that maybe I got this for a reason... For me to not take things for granted and wish I was dead when I was perfectly healthy and had nothing to even be depressed about, For me and my boyfriends bond to grow even stronger. God only knows. God throws things at us that we might not understand now but later we will see, that everything happens for a reason. I just wanted to share my story and some insight on my feelings. I know it was a lot to read but maybe someone will take something positive out of this and realize that they are not alone. I think that doctors should promote this website to people who have been diagosed with herpes so that we won't feel like we are the only ones fighting this battle. Thank you so much for reading.

 

Now with that all being said, is it possible I could have been misdiagnosed when the hospital said I had a kidney infection? or Is it possible that a kidney infection can cause herpes or can herpes cause a kidney infection? Could I sue the hospital for providing false information or witholding any information because they did blood tests, a CT scan and xrays, wouldn't of herpes showed up?

[ihaveittoo]

Hello,

 

28 year veteran of herpes here. Herpes can be tricky. Its possible you've had it for some time now, its possible your boyfriend has had it all this time too. 80% of those with herpes don't know they have it. If the blood test comes back positive then he has had it over 4 months. If your blood test comes back positive you've had it over 4 months also. It takes about that long for the antibodies to be detectable.

 

Your kidney infection probly stressed your immune system which could have triggered an outbreak. A CT scan and xrays wont find herpes. A blood test will but you have to be looking for it. Herpes is not tested for in a standard STD panel or any other blood test unless you specifically ask for it. The IgG test is the one that can find the antibodies.

 

You have come to the right place to find information and support. In the long run things will be ok.

[WCSDancer2010]

@Theoverthinker524

 

@ihaveittoo is right ... the blood test will tell you who had it first ...but you didn't mention whether you have HSV1 or 2 ...have you got your results back yet?

 

Many people have Oral HSV1 (aka Cold Sores) from childhood and forget about it and don't know that they could pass it on through oral sex. And if you have HSV2, either of you could have had it and not known it. Your situation isn't at all rare.... I have a client who had her first ever OB after 30 yrs of marriage :(

 

As for the Hospital ...well, if you had rough sex, that could cause a kidney infection (because the bacteria can get inside sometimes when we get extra freaky... thanks to our female physiology) AND if you had a rubbed area that could be where the Herpes got into your system.

 

Herpes is a sneaky little bugger and our CDC's policy of not testing without symptoms or known exposure unless you specifically ask for it just contributes to the spread of the virus because so many (80%) have no idea that they have it :(

[Theoverthinker524]

@wcsdancer2010 @ihaveittoo

they didnt tell me which type i have. But im pretty sure its hsv2 because i have the bumps in my vagina not my mouth. The gyno didnt take a blood test she did a swab test of my bumps and it came back positive. We are still waiting on the results for my boyfriends blood test. He hasn't been having any symptoms so I'm sure he doesn't have it. I may be wrong though.

[2Legit2Quit]

@Theoverthinker524 HSV 1 can spread to your vagina and penises as well, from oral sex. So yes, you can be infected w HSV 1 on your genitals. HSV 2 is primarily known as genital herpes and only 1% of oral herpes is from HSV 2.

 

Most people don't have any symptoms, either from the mouth or genitals who have herpes. Don't make assumptions.

 

50% of all new genital herpes, are caused from oral HSV 1 through oral sex.

[WCSDancer2010]

@2Legit2Quit is right ... and seeing as you had a swab it should be type specific so ask your Dr for the results. Your hubby could have gotten HSV1 (cold sores) orally as a child (60% of all young people have it by the time they are young adults) and either not known or forgotten and passed it through oral sex to you.... which would explain why he hasn't got it from you.

 

Once you get both of your results, we can help you to figure out what precautions, if any, you need to take to protect him.

[Theoverthinker524]

Oh ok i didnt know that. I guess i should set up another appointment with my doctor and find out. Because my meds are almost gone and im not sure what im supposed to do next. The pain from my bumps are gone but ive been feeling kinda sore down there. I think i might have gotten it from him maybe because he did give me oral and then we had sex then the next day i started my period then after about 3 or 4 days of being on my period i got a kidney infection then i started noticing the bumps 2 days after the kidney infection. My bf didn't tell the doctor that he wanted to get tested for herpes so should he goback and ask them to test him for herpes? Or will it still show up if he has it in a standard std blood test? @wcsdancer2010 @2legit2quit

[2Legit2Quit]

He had to specifically request a herpes IgG test

[Theoverthinker524]

Ok thats what i thought. Because he said that he used to get tested all the time and herpes never came up. So the reason it never have is because hes never been tested for herpes. So this is all starting to make more sense now. Thank you for all the help. @2legit2quit

[2Legit2Quit]

Yep, herpes is not included in the full STD panel. If the words I want to be tested for herpes do not come out of their mouth, then they won't test you.

[Theoverthinker524]

Alright good to know. So that's probably why most people have it and not know it.

[Theoverthinker524]

My doctor just told me i have hsv2

[2Legit2Quit]

So this is your husband right? Well sounds like your bf needs to be tested. He must be an asymptomatic carrier. He needs to go ask for a test, as this came from intercourse and not from oral sex.

 

How are you dealing, are you ok?

[Theoverthinker524]

What if my boyfriends test results come nack negative? How would that be possible if we have been having unprotected sex the whole 6 months we been together? I'm scared He is going to think i was cheating if his does come back negative. I keep telling him to go back and ask the doctor for a herpes test because he didnt when he went the first time. He said he scared and doesnt want to know. Idk what to do to get him to be serious amd go. Everytime i bring up anything that has to do with herpes he gets agitated at me. I'm just scared of having more outbreaks and I had my first one when i was on my period. I have another period comimg in two weeks im scared another ob might happen. On top of all that I think i might be having a second outbreak. I'm feeling a little weak and itching and tingling sore feeling down there. I havent noticed any new bumps yet. But the medicine i was perscribed was only for 10 days and i have 2 days worth of pills left after today.

[Theoverthinker524]

He is my boyfriend not my husband.

[2Legit2Quit]

Well, I find it very unlikely that they do come back negative. Did you get a culture and blood or just a culture? Is there a small chance you've been carrying this and it just popped up? Possibly, but you had a pretty bad OB right?

 

Well if you look at the statistics, transmission is pretty low, so it's not unusual that you could go that long and not catch it. I have severaI friends that married H negative men and have gone 7 yrs and not infected them... They have split since for other reasons, but the point being, it is possible to not infect a partner.

 

I find his reaction a bit strange to be honest and like one of denial, which makes me suspicious, he may have suspected he had it and just didn't want to know.

 

Everyone has their fear of their next OB, but I promise you, it is nothing like your primary. My recurrents have been a single red bump, that doesn't even ulcerate. Sitting in an rpsom salt bath made the difference of it hanging around a week or more to just three days. Do not fret over your recurrent... Trust me, this is coming from someone who had neuropathy so bad from their primary, I felt like a burn victim on my buttock and back of thighs, w shooting pain all over the place. I had a very severe primary ob and I've been able to go about my normal activities w my recurrents. I only knew they were there, cause I used to obsessively check myself daily u til the last few months. I haven't had any ibs during my last two periods and I hit a yr next month. Liquor however, will trigger a red bump or two on my butt cheeks that just feels like I had chaffing there. Nothing to worry about! Did you ask to be kept on suppressive therapy at least for the first yr?

[Theoverthinker524]

I just had a swab done of my bumps, No blood test. My doctor said she won't put me on suppresive therapy unless ive had multiple outbreaks within one year. She isn't my primary doctor though. I only went to her because my primary doctor wasn't able to get me an appointment until September. Should i contact my primary doctor amd let him know whats going on and see if he can put me on suppresive therapy?

[2Legit2Quit]

Go to your primary then. I feel like it is not a doctor's choice unless for some serious health risks, to take that option away from a patient.

[Theoverthinker524]

Yeah i don't think thats right.

[WCSDancer2010]

Several things ... go to an OBGYN ... NOT a PCP ... Primary Care Dr's are GENERALISTS and most don't have up to date info on STD's ... OBGYN's are the Vagina's R Us of the medical world ... they will give you better advice and treatment on the whole ...Planned Parenthood is a good 2nd choice ...

 

Also, MANY people carry H for YEARS and never pass it to their discordant partner ... so IF your BF comes back H- (I don't think he will) then you would want to take him to your OBGYN/PP Dr and have THEM explain how H can be latent/dormant for years then come up...

 

And I agree with 2L2Q ... your BF's reaction makes me think he may be suspicious that he has it ... and remember the Wingman Effect ... this is showing you who he is as a MAN ... in a way many don't discover till the are with the person for years ... so use this as a time to realize if this is the kind of man you want to be with as you see how he is coping/reacting to this.

 

(((HUGS)))

[Theoverthinker524]

My bf is going to get tested tomorrow. They are going to do a blood test. I feel like hes going to come back negative because he's not having symptoms. Is it weird and selfish that i kinda want his to come back positive? For some odd reason i just feel like maybe he won't want to be with me anymore if his test come back negative. And i also wanted to know if im on suppressive therapy and not shwoing symptoms will he still be able to give oral and touch me down there and not get it? Because i feel like he's too scared to even touch me anymore because he thinks he's going to get it.

[2Legit2Quit]

I feel like there is a very high possibility that he'll come back positive. See girls come up positive quite a bit, in this exact manner. Bf of 6months to a yr or more and boom; girl has primary OB and boy has no symptoms. Also, a lot of men are in denial, they may get such a mild symptom and it doesn't match the worst cases that shows online and assume it's nothing... Razor burn, zits, heat rash, chaffing, etc...

 

You have HSV 2, which doesn't like the mouth, he'll be fine. Only 1% of oral herpes is HSV 2 and that's been in mainly immune compromised patients. I've seen people in your situation, guy gets weird, convinced he doesn't have it, gets treated and he has it. Try to hang in there and not over think this.

 

When do his results come back?

[Theoverthinker524]

He told me about a small pimple like bump in his penis and i asked him how it was making him feel if he was having any other symptoms and he said it just felt irritated when it rubbed against his clothes but after a couple days the bump disappeared. I'm not sure when the results will come back but I'm assuming in about a week.

[WCSDancer2010]

I feel like hes going to come back negative because he's not having symptoms.

 

Remember, 80% of the people with Herpes don't know they have it, so the odds are in your favor that he will come back positive.

 

And i also wanted to know if im on suppressive therapy and not shwoing symptoms will he still be able to give oral and touch me down there and not get it? Because i feel like he's too scared to even touch me anymore because he thinks he's going to get it.

 

You can show him this discussion with Dr Peter Leone ...but yes, you can get oral because H2 doesn't like the mouth :)

 

 

[Anna01]

Try to hang in there and not over think this.

 

When do his results come back?

 

I thought this was too funny. I mean her username is Overthinker!