Need a bit of a pre-disclosure pep talk

[ivoryrain]

Normally I disclose extremely early. I have had tons of success with disclosures and don't really worry about rejection. However, I met this guy who is everything that I look for in a partner. He is very much a gentleman, affectionate, funny, makes me feel comfortable/like I can be myself, has goals and future plans, gives me the perfect amount of attention, etc. We talk about how perfect things are in reference to the other person/us together. He even finds the positive in me having narcolepsy (who wouldn't want a partner who is always down for naps :P). We have spent the night together four nights in a row, and there aren't many people I can tolerate seeing that often lol. We obviously want to have sex, but he has also said that he's okay with it if we don't. I'm falling for him way quicker than I thought I would (and I believe he feels the same way), and I need to tell him before I invest too many feelings and potentially get hurt. I think I'm going to tell him by text today so he won't feel pressured to make a decision right away; it would hurt even more if he was okay with it and then had second thoughts.

 

I've never told someone after developing feelings for them, so I could really use a pep talk! Based on his character and personality, I don't think that he'll reject me (knock on wood), but people are also unpredictable.

[Anna01]

OH MY GOSH...can I just say "Ditto" haha I am in the same boat right now. However, I have never disclosed to anyone. This is extremely new for me. So I can't offer any advice other than Go for it! :) You seem to be a pretty confident woman so just go for it. If he is the right one, he will accept it. If not, it is ok, he isn't the right one. I have no doubt what is meant to be will be. Good luck and let us know how it goes ;-)

[2Legit2Quit]

Send him the statistic sheet here and the pamphlet to help, so he has numbers to look at.

 

Have you ever passed this on to anyone and how long were you w those people? Just like hearing this stuff, for when I disclose in the future, for when I feel ready to be w someone. It's not herpes preventing me from dating, it's just me needing to focus on my life right now and get it back where I want.

[ivoryrain]

@2Legit2Quit

 

I haven't used the sheets from here because I don't want them to figure out my username if they come here. They don't need to know all the behind-the-scenes of my vagina lol. I just say/text what they say. Or do you mean transmitted H? I've had 2 fwbs post-diagnosis for several months. To my knowledge, neither of them have it (they probably would tell me if they had symptoms lol). I've almost dated a few people but it didn't work out for unrelated reasons.

[2Legit2Quit]

Printing out the sheets, doesn't show your username. They can't see your username.

[ivoryrain]

@2Legit2Quit

 

I know. I mean if the link is on them and he comes to the site and looks around. He may recognize me based on some of the things I've said. See below for the update if you're interested!

 

@Anna01

 

Update! I did my typical disclosure. He asked several questions and we discussed precautions. Right away he said that he was okay with it and that I'm still perfect, etc :) I'm so happy that I got the disclosure over with and now we can let things happen (or not happen :P)

[2Legit2Quit]

@ivoryrainivoryrain great, so you disclosed and he was OK w it? Great! So happy for you!

[Anna01]

Awesome! That is so great :) So you communicated it via text or did you decide to talk on the phone, in person?

[ivoryrain]

@2Legit2Quit

@Anna01

 

Yep! I did it by text. I wanted to call him, but he was in class and I was at work and didn't want to wait any longer. When he came over last night, he asked lots of questions and we talked about it for about an hour. He's super inquisitive in general, so all of the questions kind of got the elephant out of the room and I feel like I could openly talk about it with him in the future if I needed to for whatever reason :)

[Anna01]

Yay :) He seems like a very mature guy. So can I ask what the text said. Were you like "Hey I have H. We can talk about it later"

[WCSDancer2010]

Sorry I didn't get in on this early (traveling yesterday) but congratulations!

 

Only one point for future disclosures ... texting when the person is "in class" or work or whatever really isn't the best time ... at least wait till they are somewhere "neutral" where they can absorb the info :)

 

Well done!

[ivoryrain]

@Anna01

 

I'll private message it to you because I know he has been researching a bit and I don't want him to recognize my text if he ends up here lol. I just feel weird about him reading through all of my posts on here at this point in time.

 

@WCSDancer2010

 

Oh yeah, I meant to put that I waited until he was done with class and at home :P I was still at work but not busy haha.