Recently diagnosed hsv2

[As89]

I am so happy i stumbled across this website! I was devastated when I found out. I thought my life was over. I am wanting some more information on transmission from other h positive people. I asked my doctor about the 1% with condoms and valtrex and the 2% with only valtrex (I am a female). She told me that the rate of transmission is most likely even lower than that. I was just diagnosed last month and I'm wondering how much more contagious I am and what the % would be considering the new diagnoses.

 

Also, almost all of the stories I've read says when being on suppressive therapy and being cautious that the positive partner DID NOT pass h on to their partner. It seems to me that it's not as contagious as some make it to seem like, being responsible.

 

I'm working myself up to tell the guy I'm dating I just want as much information as possible so I'm confident in myself and can provide real evidence.

Pleaseeeee make me feel better about this situation! :/

 

[2Legit2Quit]

Have you downloaded the disclosure pamphlets yet and the statistics spreadsheet? If not, I highly recommend that and you should have received that in email shortly after signing up.

[As89]

Yes I did and that was very helpful I guess I was just wondering what the statistics would be if someone who is newly diagnosed. I found out about a month ago. she said it was a new exposure. Does anyone have any of their own stories (not transmitting it or vice versa)

[2Legit2Quit]

You'd have to check out this discussion area where people discuss being w discordant couples. There's just no telling. Those statistics should apply to even the newly diagnosed. I know you want a solid black and white anser, but unfortunately that doesn't exist w this virus.

[As89]

Ok thank you. Another question is I've been having the tingling usually everyday but just for a second here and there is that still prodrome?

[2Legit2Quit]

Yes.. Doesn't mean you're gonna have an OB.. I feel that and don't have obs. Usually i have no warning before i have an OB. When I have sensations like that and no physical symptoms present, I take it as a sign of asymptomatic shedding.

[As89]

Ok so how long should I avoid sexual contact? (For future reference)

[2Legit2Quit]

Well if after an OB, they say 7-10 days.. When it comes to shedding, it can come on and stop w in hrs or days .. Just refrain that day if you have any sensations. You can only do your best. I so wish there was an at home swab kit we could do. I feel this would be easier to come up w and get on the market, than a cure or new drug and can at least provide discordant couples w some peace and comfort, w testing for shedding while at home. So annoying.

[As89]

I know I thought of that. It can't possibly be that hard. I've been so depressed since this all happened. I feel like I'm not myself .. When will I feel better?

[As89]

Also, do we asymptotically shed on buttocks legs etc? I read somewhere that we do not but I feel the tingle.

[WCSDancer2010]

@As89

 

Well, you wanted to know about your risk as a newly diagnosed person. Certainly your risk is much higher (there's no studies to give you stats though) simply because your body is still learning how to control the virus AND you are still learning your prodromes and OB symptoms ...

 

Does that mean you can't have sex? No. It just means you have to be extra careful and make sure your partner knows their risk.

 

You are looking for validation for lower numbers (and clinging on to the fact that your Dr said that the numbers were likely lower than what the experts have published). Now, she's possibly right - AND - YOU got it ... so we have to understand that will the odds are low, it can happen and that it's only right to make sure our partners are well informed and educated so they have the choice about how to proceed with you (and you will find that many of the guys who walk away immediately really were not that into YOU ... they were just interested in GETTING INTO you ... I call that the Wingman effect of Herpes ;) )

 

And yes, you *can* be shedding anywhere inside the "boxer shorts" region ... but the virus typically sheds a lot less there because of the thickness of the skin in relationship to the skin in the groin area.

 

When will you feel better? We can't tell you that. The virus acts differently from one person to another, and each person processes the diagnoses differently. But I think it's safe to say that those that hang here will at least emotionally feel better a LOT faster ... and possibly even physically because the virus loves stress, so when you start to relax and accept the diagnosis, you will often find that the prodromes start to lessen as well :)

 

(((HUGS)))

[As89]

I feel ok physically I'm just really nervous about telling the guy I'm dating. I know he's not going to mind I just have to accept it. If there wasn't a risk of transmission I wouldn't care because it really isn't a big deal.

[2Legit2Quit]

Often our greatest issue w herpes is that us ourselves, have trouble finding that we are still just as worthy w it, but project it in a way that we put it on the other person.. Such as fear of rejection. The fact that you feel confident he will accept it speaks volumes, that this is all being created in your own head. When I get really bad, I tell myself repeatedly: get out if your head! Get out if your head! If you don't, you will continue to process and create stories that don't really exist and are really just a figment of your imagination, but after time, your brain can have a hard time discerning between reality and imagination.

[As89]

I know that is what I'm struggling with. Thanks for the advice it really helps. I just want to be happy again. All the stuff on the internet scares me when I know it's not true.

[WCSDancer2010]

Perhaps some perspective on "rejection" will help you a bit :)

 

http://supporttruthanddialog.com/rejection_its-all-about-perspective/ (my blog)

 

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/4699/first-real-disclosure-first-real-rejection Rejection as your teacher…..

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201307/10-surprising-facts-about-rejection

 

 

[As89]

those were all really good. Thank you!

[As89]

I actually came across a study about valtrex and newly diagnosed... I believe it said the average transmission rate was 2.9% I wish I remember where I saw this. But again like you said it's different in everyone.

[WCSDancer2010]

Depends on whether it's M-F or F-M ... but yes, F-M for HSV2 is normally about 5% and Valtrex can take it down to about half that.... but a lot depends on whether your body reacts well to the Valtrex... some take it and don't see as good of a change in their OB's ... some it will stop them all together. Certainly it's worth a try to use it ... I suggest that people use it at least in the early days of a relationship... so that it takes the pressure off of the couple while they are getting to know each other :)

[As89]

It completely stopped my first ob besides the prodrome I've been feeling I feel fine. The guy I'm with is my ex boyfriend of a couple years we split up and are getting back together ... I'm just so scared to tell him.

[WCSDancer2010]

Look... if he values YOU, H won't be a big deal (with the caveat that some hypochondriacs or anxiety prone people may not make the best partners for us!) ... so if he REALLY loves you, he will get himself informed. Perhaps it will make him really look into exactly what he's hoping for with you and whether he REALLY wants a future with you, or if you are just a familiar landing place that's easier than being single. If it's the former, H shouldn't matter. If it's the latter, he may go the other way. If so, be grateful you learned that now :)

 

Let Herpes be your Wingman ... because you will find out his real intentions REAL quick when you disclose :)

[As89]

Yea that's very true. Thanks again.