Sigh, I once again need help.

[Wallyworld]

So I've been on acyclovir for a few months with no problems. Whenever I thought I was having issues I would go to pp and they would confirm...that's just an ingrown hair/zit calm down. I finally calmed down. True to form whenever I calm down, this stupid virus loves to toy with my emotions.

I had sex with my boyfriend last night after a few days break because my period. This morning right between my vagina and anus I see two tiny papercuts that only hurt when I put pressure on them (or put apple cider vinegar on it). Otherwise I wouldn't even know they are there. Could this just be from sex?

I've never had an outbreak (as far as I know) with the medication. I did just run out of l-lysine.

I'm kind of a mess in my head right now...

[Wallyworld]

Oh and I have ghsv-1

[Wallyworld]

Like I said I'm a mess, I don't have time or money to go back to pp

[WCSDancer2010]

Odds are if it is an OB, it was triggered by the sex... meaning that odds are you were not shedding during sex... it's not uncommon for H to get triggered by the repetitive rubbing/etc from sex.... you should be fine... just take a few days to let it settle down. I'd do Epsom Salts baths and try Bactine to help knock the OB down. Otherwise, take a chill pill friend - you should be alright :)

[Wallyworld]

thank you haha, my anxiety does not help with all this. I'm just kind of lost, the doctor at pp said I shouldn't get any more ob especially with being on medication. I'm usually pretty healthy with a not so bad immune system. Maybe the stress of my job hunt is catching up with me. Thanks for listening to my incoherent ramble. :D

[NothingGoodGetsAway]

First of all...breathe!

 

You don't need to go to PP, because it's only one of two things: 1, cuts from sex, or 2, an OB maybe triggered by sex. PP might not swab them because you know you already have GHSV-1, and they'll probably either dismiss you as "only cuts" or "probably outbreak." Save your moolah (speaking from experience :)

 

So you know it's only one of two things. So what is stressing you out? (Seriously, what is stressing you out? Not a rhetorical question!)

 

True to form whenever I calm down, this stupid virus loves to toy with my emotions.

 

The fact that it's mild physically but such a turmoil emotionally is the worst thing about this silly little virus. Don't let two tiny cuts get you down.

 

Otherwise I wouldn't even know they are there. Could this just be from sex?

 

It's super tough to say. And no one can say for sure! But...did you have any prodromes before sex? Did you feel anything funny or itchy down there during or just after? If so, then it probably is an OB. I experienced that exact scenario and was like "ohh that's what an OB from sex feels like!"

 

If not, then they might be cuts from sex. Especially if they're not hurty/burny/etc.

 

My advice is to watch them, treat them how recommended above, and see if it turns into an OB. Cuts or shaving, etc, weaken the skin and allow virus that would have otherwise chilled beneath the surface to rear its head. So if it starts to itch, gets worse or more painful, then you know you have an OB on your hand.

 

I will echo advice that @wcsdancer2010 gives - regardless of whether it's a known OB or a suspected cut, give yourself time to heal before you jump back on the horse, so to speak.

[Wallyworld]

I'm stressed because of money haha and trying to find a job. I recently interviewed for the perfect job for me and they really wanted to hire me but recently had a change and they can't hire anybody. They could call me again a week from now or months from now. I suppose that made my stress worse and prompted some depression. It's possible for me to be so positive for everybody in my life, but for myself I cannot.

I'm also worried my boyfriend will get tired of this even though he's been nothing but wonderful. The fear of losing him...

I'm a mess

[WCSDancer2010]

The doctor at pp said I shouldn't get any more ob especially with being on medication.

 

Well, don't want to feed your anxiety but the Dr is wrong that the medication will ALWAYS stop an OB... for some it will stop them all, for others it slows down the OB's and either way you *can* be shedding asymptomatically at any time. That's the first time I've heard of a PP Dr being that far off base...

 

AND

 

Think of it this way...

 

**I assume you drive a car

**and I assume if that is correct, you may occasionally drive your lover/BF somewhere

**And you BOTH know there is ALWAYS a risk of a car accident no matter how careful you are

**But you drive him anyway, right? Do you obsess day and night that you might injure/kill him every time he gets in your car? I doubt it.

**Why is the possibility of passing on H any different? At least it won't kill him!!!

 

Think on it :)

 

Point being: The risk is small of passing it on esp as you are on the antivirals. And like the car analogy, all you can do is be vigilant and do your best to keep him safe. Otherwise just enjoy your time with him and let life happen. It doesn't always go the way we want... but trying to control every aspect of it isn't LIVING.... :)

 

 

[NothingGoodGetsAway]

First of all, remember that, while it would have been amazing to get the job, it was a GREAT sign that they loved you and wanted to hire you. That's a good sign! It means you're valued and valuable. It will happen again.

 

Second, self forgiveness and self appreciation are some of the hardest things to do!

 

So I have some tips that I try to follow...

 

The next time you speak to yourself, ask "If I heard a man say this to his wife in the grocery store, what would I think?" or "If a friend did the same thing I did, what advice would I give them?" or even "If there was a little girl in the room with me, someone that looks up to me, would I let myself say this out loud?" The chances are, you're saying some things to yourself that you would never let anyone else say about your friend, or even a stranger about another stranger!

 

BE KIND to yourself. We are human, we will be sick. We will fall. But we will also succeed and find ways to survive. You are positive for others, why do you yourself not deserve the same treatment?!

 

And let your boyfriend's actions speak for him...it sounds like he's there to support you, so you can focus on how *you* deal with this, and if you're dealing well, he will continue to do so too :) He will pick up on your vibes, so send positive ones instead.

 

 

 

 

[WCSDancer2010]

I'm also worried my boyfriend will get tired of this even though he's been nothing but wonderful. The fear of losing him...

 

One thing I can tell you about men is that if anything, your stressing out is more likely to distress and upset him and push him away than Herpes will ever do ... you got this far with H ... Herpes is not an issue for him.... it's YOU projecting your fears into the relationship... AND... odds are if it wasn't H that was making you scared to lose him, it would be something else.... so work on YOU and your self confidence... seek help for THAT .. and eventually H won't be a big deal for EITHER of you :)

 

 

[Wallyworld]

Thanks you guys. I've been having good and bad days. I think this whole thing has made me angry. Angry because I've always been careful but the second somebody went down on me I got it. I'm having an emotional day, I just went out for lunch with my boyfriend and cried in a public place. Tomorrow I may look back and laugh...

Nonetheless, I appreciate the support I've received on this site. I definitely need to work on myself.