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Paying homage and paying it forward

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Wow! What a difference a year can make. January of 2015 was one of the lowest points of my life. I was in the depths of depression after my self diagnosis (didn't get my official until Feb) but January was the hardest for me... I feel like I owe so much to this site because you guys were here for me when I was at my lowest. The success stories and the constant reminder that i am not alone, I will be ok, that I will get through this, and that life goes on are what kept me going. So I feel like I must come here to pay homage and to testify that things really do get better and hopefully my words will be solace to someone the way so many of your words were to me just a year ago...

My life is totally 'normal' right now. There comes many things to worry about in life and herpes is the least of them for me at this point. A year

ago I never thought I would see this day! It barely crosses my mind. Only when I have an outbreak do I feel a little bummed and even then I'm like "shit you again? Huhh you are so annoying because I wanted to get laid tonite" and then it's like "FINE I'll wait til next week Huhhhh" lol No really. It's sooo not an issue.

I started dating... another thing I thought would take a million years to happen. It was strange at first because I wasn't used to not getting some type physical pretty early on. I was so paranoid. I was afraid to even hug or kiss for fear that things would go too far too fast and I was so terrified of the big 'D' (disclosure). Yeah dating was weird for a bit... but just for a moment... I finally found someone i felt comfortable with and i had my first and so far only disclosure and it went 1000 times better than I expected! (I may share that in a different post) I'm still with him and its not perfect but that has absolutely nothing to do with herpes. Imagine that!

At this point my biggest concern is a non selfish one... passing the virus. Sometimes I think nothing of it but then there are times where sex is nerve wrecking (like right after an outbreak). We want to keep him H-. I don't know how I would handle being a giver... but that again is suitable for another post...

The only other thing is the comedy-phobia I've developed. lol I now have this fear of watching comedies in mixed company for fear of the dreaded herpes joke. Omg they make me so uncomfortable still! When it comes to funny movies or shows the herpes joke is like an outbreak... you never know when it's going to pop up! ....

But I said all this to say that life for the most part is good. I am leaps and bounds from the yucky dark place I was last january. So for those who are new to our community, things can and WILL be normal again. Life now is no different than before, just with minor tweaks... a new normal if you will. So keep fighting the good fight because your life is soooo worth it! Trust me.

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Welcome back! So happy to hear you've come around and are doing great. I worried about the herpes joke as well and a video shaded in here, is what made me get over that. You gotta learn to laugh at yourself right? So laugh at herpes too! Try watching this video and see if you can get a laugh from it and let me know. Hugs!


Watch "Dane Cook Herpes.m4v" on YouTube


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