Almost 2 year anniversary

[DreamALittleDream]

So I'm coming up on the 2 year mark of knowing I have herpes. My doctor decided that after waiting 3 months to call me with my results, Valentine's day would be the best day to call and tell me. (It what was just a routine blood test/STI test, I had no symptoms prompting the test). I then told my long term boyfriend the same day. So needles to day, Valentine's day hasn't been the same for me since.

Anyhow, I've been having a hard time with it recently because to my knowledge, I haven't had any outbreaks. One would think this is great, but it really messes with your head. I have to watch the man I'm going to marry put a condom on every time we have sex because I have this virus. It makes me feel bad and I'm worried that he still might get it. We did tons of research when I found out I had it, so he knows all the risks involved and still wanted to stay in a relationship with me. For that I'm grateful. It's just tough sometimes to not have any symptoms, but still take so many precautions. (Btw, I did have another blood test done to confirm the results of the first, and the second test came back positive as well).

 

I think I mostly just needed to vent. I'm not really sure. It's all just been weighing in me a lot lately.

[2Legit2Quit]

Awww.... I'm sorry sweetie. :-( I haven't been sexually involved since getting this a yr n half ago, so I can't completely understand what that fear is like, but I'm sure it's going to be a struggle for me at some point. How would you feel if he got it and never displayed symptoms like you? Are you taking daily meds?

[WCSDancer2010]

Think of it this way...

 

**I assume you drive a car

**and I assume if that is correct, you may occasionally drive your lover/BF somewhere

**And you BOTH know there is ALWAYS a risk of a car accident no matter how careful you are

**But you drive him anyway, right? Do you obsess day and night that you might injure/kill him every time he gets in your car? I doubt it.

**Why is the possibility of passing on H any different? At least it won't kill him!!!

 

Think on it :)

 

Over time, you may well drop the condoms..... as you come to live with it more, it becomes less of an issue.... and if he accepts the risk, well, he's a grown assed man. Let him be responsible for HIS body. If/when he's tired of condoms, accept that. Don't try to micro-manage what he needs to do. Keep remembering what I wrote above :)

[Clem]

Its definitely a mixed blessing to be with someone you love who isn't thrown off by the fact we have Herpes. On one hand you're grateful but on the other, you are constantly afraid of hurting this person you care very much about. All I can tell you is that it does get easier over time, and I would be willing to bet that at some point down the road you wont even think about it anymore. It took me many years with the same person to get to the point where it wasn't constantly in the back of my mind every time we had sex. But I did get there, and you will too. It just takes time to adjust but don't lose hope, and remember, he loves you and because of your diagnosis you now how very tangible proof of that, which many people are not so lucky to have. Best of luck to you. (p.s. I do recommend a daily suppressive medication, if nothing else to ease your mind)