Hsv 2 in the urethra...how much of a risk am I?

[Pixy0]

Hello all, Thankyou for taking the time to look at post :)

 

So I don't want to ramble on too much, but basically I was found to have the hsv 2 strain in my urethra a few months back, after a couple of agonizing weeks of difficulty urinating. No one seemed to know what I had, the symptoms and the pain developed while I was on antibiotics for a UTI, so maybe my immune system was compromised in hindsight. But anyway, my last pelvic exam was the week before and my doctor took some swabs to test for herpes but only around my vagina, as he noticed something he thought could potentially be a sore (all swabs he did that day came back negative for herpes). It was only when I was still having my urination problems that I went to a different doctor and he took some swabs again but this time in my urethra, which did come back showing hsv2. I was given Valacyclovir and my symptoms finally and quickly went away.

 

I broke the news to my boyfriend and he eventually broke up with me when he tested negative (we were having unprotected sex for 7 months). I am obviously heartbroken but more so I now feel like this is the end of any future for me. I feel like I have the plague, how can I ever be with anyone? It's basically asking someone to agree to me giving them herpes, because in a long term relationship it's of course going to happen statistically, even with condom use I'm surely going to pass it on through oral sex or kissing no?

 

I also thought about if I were to try to have children then that means not using any barrier contraception, possibly for a long period of them until I fall pregnant. So it's inevitable I am going to give the person I am with the virus.

 

I just want to know, is there any chance I could get the virus to a low enough point in my point to not be contagious any more?

 

I am also very confused because me and me ex had a lot of sex, and he tested Negative after 7 months with me. So does this mean that I'm not as contagious? I had tested negative for herpes from the swabs around my vagina, only weeks later did a different doctor think to test in my urethra and then I get told that actually in fact I DO have herpes :( You can imagine my shock and upset.

 

Another question I have, if it is/was isolated to my urethra during my (to my knowledge first ever) symptoms then perhaps I'm not a high risk to give it to someone? I did after all test NEGATIVE for the virus in the swabs done around my genitals.

 

I do not have the information about what count of the virus I carry, do I need to get a blood test for this? And also if my count is below a certain number does it technically count as being negative? Therefore not required to tell a partner?

 

Thankyou for taking the time to read this, as you can probably tell I am rather uninformed, and in addition my heartbreak that someone I loved was scared off by me doing the right thing has crushed me. I feel like it's a death sentence for my love life, I've found it hard to find people interested in a relationship with me as it is, as my lifestyle involves me moving from place to place. Now I may as well just give up entirely, how can you ever feel comfortable in the bedroom when you have the constant worry of spreading something? If I don't say anything and a partner develops symptoms I would never be able to lie to their face and pretend I didn't know I had it. And it's a miracle if anyone actually want to start anything with me in the first place, can you imagine dropping that bomb the first date? I literally feel sick with this news and if there's no future of a happy ending for me then I can't even see the point in going on with my life :(

 

[GotWhat]

@pixy0 My first thought is that it is very suspicious that your boyfriend tested negative. Maybe he did for hsv 2 but what about hsv 1 everyone has that just about and chances are 90 % he's has and exposed you to it during sex. Not trying to upset you but the real world says he has herpes too. And no you're not tarnished or lessened in any way. Live with No Fear. Even though it's about picking up chicks read hippyherpy's thread "the ladies man successful disclosure thread" for advice on not how to get sex but for advice on how to live without fear. All the best.

[GotWhat]

https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7074/the-ladies-man-s-disclosure-success-thread/p1

@hippyherpy

[GotWhat]

And pay close attention to what this guy says.

@aep001

[MMissouri]

A swab is usually used to test when the person has lesion or sore that they can get enough of the virus from for testing. So if there wasn't any sores around your vagina then of course you would test negative in that area, but that doesn't mean it's a "safe" area. You could get a blood test done, but swabs are very accurate with positive results. It's the negatives that are in question. Did your boyfriend get swabbed? Because he would need a blood test to tell if he was truly negative outside of an outbreak (meaning if he has nothing to swab, a swab would be useless for him). As for the count staying a certain level, I'm assuming you mean a viral load? Like they mention when talking about AIDS? That doesn't apply to herpes. Herpes isn't transmitted through fluids like AIDS, it's the skin to skin contact.

 

Getting comfortable with the fact you are positive will come with education and time. Have you had the chance to read the statistics Adrial has on the welcome page? Read through some of the posts. We are all in the same situation you are, and once we find peace with it, life goes on. Not everyone will react like your boyfriend did. There are people out there that know the facts about the virus, and are fine with it. And I know you aren't at the point where you can see how minor it is in the whole grand scheme of things, but once you do, you'll realize he left a good thing over something pretty insignificant.

[Sil88]

Yea, the number just tells you how many antibodies youve built up, ie. how long youve had the virus. Nobodys gonna make contact with sores in your urethra so you ought to be a bit less of a risk, but they might not always appear there, and you will still shed the virus across your trunk region. Always recommended to disclose.. even in worst case scenario its quite difficult to spread, but we mention it for the 'what if' result, and the peace of mind. Your boyfriend showed his colours a bit.. Who knows - if he isnt lying about his results, and is responsible enough to test again in 3-4 months, you might see him come crawling back!

[KOB16]

Hey,

 

I've had an outbreak in quite a few places and they have never been in the same area, so I'm not sure about it being less risk because of where your first outbreak is as I don't tihnk it is necesarily contained in one area?

 

I agree with the people above that your boyfriend probably does have herpes too. The only way to know for sure is swabbing so even if he got a blood test and it was negative, doesn't mean he doesn't have it - it's not a trustworthy way of knowing.

There's no way of knowing whether he gave it to you or you gave it to him, just because he might not had had an outbreak doesn't mean he won't. So don't beat yourself up!

 

I am totally in the same place as you with worrying I'll never be with someone again - just got trust the people who are more experienced who say - yes we will!!!

 

hope you are doing okay xxxx