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Chances I might have contracted herpes from my partner.

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So my partner informed me about her hsv 2, and we have been intimate since then. I've since educated myself on the matter. It doesn't bother me because I really like her and care a lot about her. Last night we got intimate again (protected sex) she has a mild out break one spot to be exact. Mid way through we ended up having un protected sex. Bad judgment possibility because we were really drunk. Now I'm concerned that I am without a doubt going to contract hsv 2. Apart of me don't really mind because our bond seems to be growing very strong. I feel I would be happy with this girl for the rest of my life. I can't speak the same for her though. She's definitely head over heels for me though, so that's a good thing. On the other hand if it don't work out I feel like a took a risk for nothing. I know this sounds like some crazy reasoning having the unprotected sex during an outbreak. So my question is what is the likelihood that I will contract the virus? Are the any scientific studies that show transmission rates during an outbreak? Thank you for listening and any responses.

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@Will83 If you're male, your risk is already perhaps half of what it would be if you were female, so if your fear is that you are 100% sure to get it because you had sex during an outbreak, chop 50% off the top of that for now if that makes you feel any better.


If you do contract it, even if you two don't stay together forever, I hope you won't end up feeling like you took a risk for nothing. The fact is, unless you are extremely disciplined in having new prospective partners test specifically for HSV2, a certain level of risk will always exist, as long as you are a sexually active human. HSV2 is not typically included in STI tests and most who have it don't know it. So if you ever contract it, rather than regretting one drunken episode, you might instead ask yourself if it's been worth it all these years to be sexually active when there was always a risk of contracting HSV2?


Having said all that, if you don't want to greatly increase your odds of contracting it, I would strongly suggest finding other ways to share affection during outbreaks.

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Thanks for the support and advice your input is greatly appreciated. If it happens it happens I know what I will need to do both medically and consciously. From my understanding this is a pretty common occurance in our society. Unfortunately most won't admit they have something and put others at risk. I know that I will be forthcoming and honest to the next girl I meet say this relationship don't work. Thanks

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i'm also curious about how likely it is during prodrome. I occasionlly will have an ob after a very non exisitant prodrome, that takes me by surprise, and was intimate last night and now today feeling surprised by an outbreak, and feeling terrible about it. its not in a spot likely to have direct contact, but still... thoughts?

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@Katidid I think the timeline you mention is correct (usually within 2-10 days of infection) in cases in which someone has noticeable symptoms, but most people (80-90%) do not have recognizable initial outbreaks. This seems especially common when someone contracts HSV2 after already having HSV1.

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@Bambina3 That's my understanding, yes. Terri Warren addresses this in the Herpes Handbook on page 5. https://www.westoverheights.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Updated-Herpes-Book.pdf


BTW, I saw your reference about 1 in 6 people having HSV2 and wanted to add that in that study, 29% of participants had never or not yet had sex, so among sexually active 14-49 year olds, I mean those who had had sex at least one time ever, it's more like 1 in 4, and of course that averages all the ages and both genders and we already know women are infected at twice the rate of men and the rate climbs with age (very low at 14 years old, very high at 49 years old). So yes, super common, especially among sexually active girls and women. By my age (late 40s), a full half of single women have HSV2. And none of those statistics include GHSV1, so the bottom line is that genital herpes is extremely common among sexually active humans, especially women, and becomes more and more common as we age.



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I was on the exact same boat, I was having sex with no protection and one time she already was going through an outbreak and she was in pain and we were having unprotected sex

She didn't tell me she's having the outbreak otherwise I would have waited but I noticed her being weird and when I asked she said its hurting her and she's having an outbreak. Look simple advice, do not say I see myself with her forever and keep having unprotected sex at outbreaks, because i said the same thing and we ended up breaking up after 3 months. Nobody can be really sure about the percentages and they are just estimates, but I was having sex with her for 3 months, got tested after 15.5 weeks fe first contact and 6 weeks after last contact and results were negative for HSV2 but positive for HSV1. Use condoms mate, use condoms and use condoms. Avoid outbreak because no matter how good your relationship seem to be, you never know, it happened to me. She didn't even show one tiny bit of care and she left like we never knew each other, when our relationship was not going great but seemed to be perfect. Be careful and it doesn't mean you contacted it already but there is a chance always. Ask her to use medication it will help a lot. Good luck

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Wow let me say that am so grateful for all the input and support. You guys have been so helpful and open not only about the facts but also on your experiences. I truly appreciate everything you guys offered, all good stuff. I am still without any signs but I did find it quite intriguing what optimist mentioned. So I've had cold sores in the past when I was a teenager. And that is essentialy what Hsv1 is. You mentioned I may not even show signs as a result in having Hsv1. So I guess the only way to know for sure is to get tested. So that is what am going to do.

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