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Tested HSV 2 positive, need to tell new lover

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Hello! I've been obsessively looking at this and other sites over the past few days as I received a positive HSV2 antibody result on Wed morning. I got the test at the behest of my new boyfriend who had recently had a negative test and wanted me to be tested as well. We then proceeded to have unprotected sex for the last month! He is one of those men who has trouble with condoms. I have never had any sort of obvious outbreak, though I have self treated many yeast infections through out the years. I was married for 20 years and there was never any outbreak that my husband had either. I have only been with one other person since my marriage ended, but it is possible I got it from him, I suppose. My question is how do I tell my new lover I am positive? I feel so horrible that I have have exposed him to this! I am concerned that it will be the end of our relationship. I have not seen him since the lab results came back, but we have plans to get together tomorrow night. I am so sad to have to tell him this.

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There are a lot of information and ways to 'disclose' to a partner on this website, I'd suggest reading the "herpes talk success stories" category for a boost in courage. Your fear is completely validated, there is stigma attached to having herpes sadly, but I think if you present facts about it and remind him that you are still YOU despite having this diagnosis, then things will be okay. If he does not react well, I promise things will be okay regardless. It will still hurt, but you wouldn't want to be with someone who leaves you over something... well, INSIGNIFICANT as this. You are a strong person, and you will get through this whatever reaction he may have! We are all here for you!

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Thank you for your support! I have read the information about disclosure and I will probably use some of it. He is a intelligent, reasonable person, but I won't blame him for being scared for his own future and upset about the current exposure and not wanting to go further in the relationship. I am just hoping i didn't transmit this to him. I am freaked out about my own diagnosis, but not nearly as much as I would have been when I was younger. I have HSV+ friends with successful marriages, relationships, etc., so I know that life goes on, but it will be that much harder.

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@ononotme be confident! I'm just recently diagnosed and the more posts I read that tell me to be confident, really make me feel confident! If you don't have active outbreaks you still need to be careful but like 90% of the United States has the antibodies like you do but no symptoms. I agree with looking over the material success stories just to remind you that it isn't the worst thing that could happen. Wishing you the best!! :)

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