Oral sex

[Harley2468]

I could use some advice/guidance.....I have genital hsv1 and my partner does not. I am not on supressive meds. He is afraid to perform oral sex on me. I've done so much reading on Herpes and still don't know how to proceed here. I know that the chances of him getting it from me is low, but that doesn't seem to stop the fear and does put a damper on oral/genital activities. Does anyone have experience with this or advice for me? things to tell him? ways to further protect him?

[sweet66]

this is how i got herpes. i had sex with someone who had herpes, he didn't tell me. he wore a condom. oral sex was involved. i got herpes, and i got it bad. it was one of the biggest nightmares of my entire life. i can't explain exactly the logistics of how it happened, but obviously fluids and mucus membranes were involved. men are less likely to contract from women than the other way around, but it is still possible.

[sweet66]

has your partner been tested to see if he has hsv1?

 

[HikingGirl]

^^^^^^ That’s what I was about to ask. The *majority* of adults already have HSV1, usually oral, and most don’t have symptoms. Only a third of those with oral HSV1 ever have a cold sore. If he tested positive for oral HSV1, he’s not going to get it “again” from performing oral on you. And he would be less likely to get it genitally if he already had the virus and had built up antibodies, although I believe it’s possible (just unlikely) to get it in both places. I hope someone will correct me if I’m wrong about that last part! Even if he already has HSV1, giving you oral during an outbreak is not a good idea.

 

 

[Harley2468]

Yes. He has been tested. He is negative for 1 and 2. So basically it seems that he can get it. I was diagnosed in September and still feeling the shock and upheaval of this. And am devastated to think that I’ll never get oral sex again.

[sweet66]

he can get it either way. there's no 100 per cent way for him to be protected. as i mentioned, we used a condom and he still gave me genital hsv1.