How do you deal on bad days?

[sjj238]

I've been feeling pretty gloomy these past few days. I was doing SO well and then I just kind of slid down a hill. I can't seem to stop crying at night. I listened to my iPod before bed last night and that seemed to help but I still feel so sad. What kind of things do you tell yourself when you're having a bad day? What do you do to cheer yourself up?

[Jassabell]

Me too. I cried a little Lastnight because I felt like I've been robbed of experiencing a lot of things. Sometimes it sucks but I try not to let it stress me because that's known for causing outbreaks and I don't want those

[Harlow]

When I have bad days, my days are usually filled with doubt. Will I ever find someone to love me despite H? Will I ever be able to live with the regret or my past lifestyle? Will I ever be truly happy? Then I think...

 

There are 7 billion people in the world. It is irrational to believe that I will be alone forever and will never find someone. The world is filled with judgmental, prejudice, and hateful people. But it is also filled with loving, compassionate, accepting, and forgiving people. If you're worried about being alone, worry no longer. With 7 billion people in the world, and many living with H and many that just don't care about a skin condition, you will find someone who loves you for the amazing person you are.

 

Also, everyone has a past. Everyone has made mistakes, some more than others. But the important thing is that we learn from those mistakes (even if you have to make them a few times to really realize it!! haha) We are human. And we make mistakes. Try not to compare yourself to others that you may perceive to be perfect.

 

Example: This girl I was friends with in high school was the absolute biggest sweetheart you'll ever meet. Straight A's, captain of her athletic team in highschool and college, sweet as can be. She was the perfect combination: loved to have fun but was still responsible and mature. In her last semester in college, she was accepted to 9 law schools. She had an amazing family, great friends, and a wonderful life. She suffered depression and a mental breakdown and ended up committing suicide. Now I'm not trying to be morbid, but this is also an example of how important it is to not compare yourself to others and make yourself feel badly. It's easy to look at others and think: wow they did everything right, and look how I messed up. Everyone is fighting their own battles, most of the time secretly.

 

Look at yourself: You are healthy. I am sure you have friends and some family to depend on. But also: you are alive today and that is something to be very thankful for.

 

H is a small issue in the big picture. And the only issue is not physically (Because we all know outbreaks after a while are barely noticeable and are not that inflicting physically) but mostly personal and emotional. You are not less of a person because you have H. If anything this is just another route that you were set to take. Whether you're spiritual or religious, or not, know that we are here on this earth to love and to feel and to enjoy everything we have before our time is up.

 

When you're sad try to spend time around people who accept you, motivate you, and encourage you to be the best version of yourself. Try to enjoy life as much as you can because you deserve it. Every moment spent with sadness is recovery time. It's okay to cry! It's healthy to cry. And it's healthy to channel all your emotions as long as it is in a positive way. You feel mad? Go for a run, draw, write, call someone close to you. You feel regretful? Remember that you have not hurt anyone intentionally and someone out there has had a better life because you were a part of it.

 

Hope this helps. Message me if you want to talk more! We're all here for you

[sjj238]

Jassabell-I'm sorry you get sad too. Myself and everyone on here is here if you need someone to talk to.

 

Harlow-Thank you so much for the response. You covered all of my insecurities. I often feel sad thinking, how will anyone love me for this? Then I think, I need to give people more credit. There has to be someone out there for me. If they truly love me and accept me, they will be there for me to listen to my story and hopefully share something about them to me as well-good or bad.

 

For my bad days, I do need to remember how blessed I am. All my grandparents are alive, my parents get along, I'm very close with my sisters, I have amazing friends, I have a dog I can talk tell everything to ;) I have enough to eat, I have a home, I go to school. I actually found a quote that I really like that has helped me through some of this; "The pain you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that is coming" -Romans 8:18. I also firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. Through this site, I have slowly started to feel more positively towards H. That maybe having this will lead me to something great. Now, I've never been super judgmental of people, but since getting H, I've definitely been much more accepting of people's differences, disabilities, and struggles. It has strangely opened my eyes.

 

Having H still brings me down. The stigma is probably the worst part. I find my self thinking, having H really isn't that bad. It's not a big deal. But that fact that other people think it's a big deal is what brings me down and makes me sad that I might not marry my best friend and have the big family I've dreamed of.

 

I have always journaled, but I've found myself writing a lot more since getting H. It helps me a lot. I'm also training to run a mile. Since getting H, I decided that working towards a goal would make me feel better. I think that achieving something huge will be good for me. I always hated running, but my goal is to run a 5k. Walking/running is a great way for me to clear my head. I think the training will be really good for me.

 

I'm really letting my mistakes eat away at me. It's really hard some days because I hate the person I've become. I think talking to a counselor will be really good for me while I'm home for the summer. And another thing I need to work on is realizing that, like you said, H is a small piece of the big picture.